I can offer you solutions to all your problems

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I am a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and can solve anything, no matter how trivial.

Please enter my advice clinic where you will find kindly Agony Aunt services. My rules and solutions are mostly as follows:

1. Lie Down
2. No Guests
3. No One is Too Fat or Too Thin
4. No One Gets Told Off

Thigh if you pull the molten wax off your face really quickly, it might just get rid of that chin hair. I know you've tried everything else

Royal could you post your children to *Danish’s’ friend?

Genius Project

How do I get over my addiction to my phone and stop wasting so much time on Mumsnet etc?

Getting about your sexuality, now you once told me you were sepiasexual. I thought this meant you were attracted to faded photographs. I've looked it up and it's cuttlefish. Which is it you have sex with? Faded photographs, the colour beige, or cuttlefish?

thigh it’s clearly faded photographs of beige cuttlefish

project i like that idea!
I shall package them up immediately, then go and lie down.

Nuphonewhodis

I think you just lie down and accept that your phone and MN being attached to ypur hand is now normal.

Project and Getting i think you'll find that Danish was referring to me as her friend. I can't take delivery of Royal's children as i operate a strict No Guests policy. Rule 2 of Thighland.

Nuphone you could put down your phone and get an improving book.

Or carrying on MNing. Possibly with a slanket and some monster munch.

Well who’s going to take Royal’s children then?

But thigh, they won't be guests... they're pests...
The 5 year old is selectively mute, so won't even be able to talk to you but i still call her demon
The 3 year old is lovely and fat and good for hugging.

Project excellent, thanks. So, to confirm, Getting has sex with faded photos of beige cuttlefish. It's a new sexuality subset HSWFPOBC.

If anyone sends children here I'll set the hounds on them. Project your life is shit anyway, you take them.

thigh oh I just got you a slightly used bread cutting mashine and a lot of dcs 🤣🤣.
Now you won't have the time to be bored and sad, and you are helping out poor pps. 😂🤪 oh my stomach hurts, sorry sorry

thigh i don't mind you setting the hounds on them 🤷‍♀️

I’m slightly worried that Royal’s eldest might be a protege for the dark lord in training.

He will have an army at this rate

Look, I'm a mass murderer, a spree killer and a serial killer. I haven't got a DBS, i can't take delivery of children.

Nuph I've created a new land full of women who won't from my phone. You're probs doing something well important too.

I have a dbs but I am a very lax, bordering on neglectful parent.

Agalmatophilic Thigh Agalmatophilic

Statues of beige cuttlefish?

Royal post your children to Danish. It's only fair since she's posting me a slightly used bread cutting machine.

Small you have a DBS? That's interesting, we could use that somehow, probably to buy guns.

Found you all again. Hello!

My dark lord in training demolished DH's phone charger when I wasn't looking. DH now in a horrid sulk. What should I do?