I can offer you solutions to all your problems

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I am a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and can solve anything, no matter how trivial.

Please enter my advice clinic where you will find kindly Agony Aunt services. My rules and solutions are mostly as follows:

1. Lie Down
2. No Guests
3. No One is Too Fat or Too Thin
4. No One Gets Told Off

Small no problem, we tend to do most of our killing on Fridays. Re your husband, we'll have to leave the body undisposed of so you can collect the life insurance.

So you're sending a wax encased fox to the play in DS's place and a haunted mannequin wearing a fur covered mask in your place to watch the wax dipped fox

Yes, Thigh. It all makes sense when you put it like that

Small since thigh has killed everyone at my work and I still have a lot of leftover rage, I’ll happily kill everyone at your work.

getting I’m concerned about sending a wax dummy in your place. If the dummy is silent, it won’t be able to ensure you are never invited back. Maybe it’s better to go yourself just to make sure.

But Thigh you normally complain when I don't shave. You say it gives you a nasty rash on your chin

Project if my wax arm falls off during the play, everyone will assume I have leprosy. Problem solved

Thanks everyone I am quite near a river if we need to dispose of any bodies.

If the dummy has the personality of Barry she should be fine.

Getting it's the rash on my Thigh that really bothers me.

Well there’s the solution, I’ll lend you Barry.

Project since everyone at your work has been killed. You might end up with a promotion.

Hm. Well technically that would make me a senior ‘manager’, so insane.

Then again, I’d be managing no one and what could be saner than that?

Project finally, sheer perfection! To be in charge of everything and nothing all at the same time - schrodingers manager!

If they give you a pay rise tis only fair that goes in Thighland's coffers.

I’ll give myself a pay rise. Let me just get the crayons out

Thigh that's very philosophical. I think I have a Schrödinger's life

Getting if you have a schrodingers life - does that mean you're alive and dead at the same time?

Yeah, I could just be a zombie, couldn't I? That would explain the drool

Oh no Getting drool is normal, that's just anticipation. It's healthy.

And the cravings I get for human brains

I accidentally saw my face in the mirror today and realised that Reg had replaced my head with molten wax. It must be a mix up.

I thought it was monkey brain since you're simosexual and literally obsessed with having sex with monkies.

I have a problem and need help.
I have a friend who is soo sad she has no problems to solve, how can I help her? What should she do?
Thank you 👋.

Im back for more advice.

3 year old is pukey. 5 year old is complaining of stomach ache. I haven't slept in 4 days

Danish could you give her a slightly used bread cutting machine?

Royal you've done your best, say goodbye and move in with a Fuckboy with no children and a butler.