I can offer you solutions to all your problems

[pineapplebryanbrown]

I am a non medically trained self appointed internet nurse. I am unfettered by knowledge or training and can solve anything, no matter how trivial.

Please enter my advice clinic where you will find kindly Agony Aunt services. My rules and solutions are mostly as follows:

1. Lie Down
2. No Guests
3. No One is Too Fat or Too Thin
4. No One Gets Told Off

I'll kill anyone, i raring to go, I've had my evening nap.

We haven't killed anyone for literally days! I'm going to set myself on fire with boredom if there isn't a murderous plot soon!

OK, but take a bucket for the organs.

Project has probably had a machine gun pointed in her face and she's just narrowly avoided being sold and trafficked. She's gone to get wine for the love of Thigh and we're lying around in here in our slankets not rushing to her aid. We've got buckets for the organs (good catch Thislido) and I'm just going through my cutlery drawer for weapons now.

We'll save and/or avenge you Project.

Fine.

I mean, we can make a ‘safe’ list. I guess we should exempt the dark lord and CATS BUM husband and getting’s DS so he can wear the terrifying Easter bonnet. And 67’s teacher. And any other tangentials of the thisterhood.

God, it’s exhausting trying to think who to exempt.

Maybe we just need a Thanos type solution.

I'll bring some serrated grapefruit spoons. Good for removing organs.

Any pointers on who/what has annoyed you most, Project?

Project if we kill anyone by accident Reg can bring them back to life afterwards with haunted wax.

Thislido good call re grapefruit spoons, that's the spirit. You can eat as we murder.

Have you been threatened Project?

Has Barry the Slanket turned on you?

I'm getting into it now!

I forgot to delegate to Barry. This is where I went wrong. So please can we kill all of the work people? And also the people who expect me to go to ‘out’ tomorrow evening.

The dark lord’s sister is currently standing naked at the bottom of the stairs screaming ‘WHERE IS MY ONESIE’ over and over again.

I’d say her too, but she is clearly a thister in training.

Project oh dear, my heart breaks for you. Naturally we will kill everyone at your work, I'm sorry I haven't suggested it already. You poor dear.

You must remember to delegate to Barry, that's what he's for. You have confused your underlings by getting them to work for Barry and then the old switcheroo. You didn't even remember to give them Krispy Kremes did you? Well, I can see no other solution but a killing spree.

Can the Dark Lord in Training not corral his sister? He's so very powerful that this would be a mere twitch of the telescope for him.

Yeah don't kill her Project she'll bring us organs when we're old.

Klepto as she's younger than us and obviously has some Thigh in her veins - will she harvest our organs.

I'm busy turning myself into foie gras to guard against being harvested.

Do you think she’d want organs when we’re done with them though?

She won't want mine, I'm currently turning my liver into ashtray potential.

getting I’ve found the perfect mask for the play. Is only £7.98 from eBay. Plus £89 shipping.

Project for tournados rossini or just for her dressing up box?

Project that's perfect for the school play!

It also looks cosy, I may get one myself.

Excellent Project. It will be the most memorable play the school has ever put on

As DS/fox is already being played by a haunted mannequin fox, I can use the mask for the mannequin that is replacing me. getting bored of tattooing Poe with Sharpies

Getting this plan is shaping up nicely. So you're sending a wax encased fox to the play in DS's place and a haunted mannequin wearing a fur covered mask in your place to watch the wax dipped fox.

Ooh please kill everyone at my work and my dh. He is very annoying.

Getting remember not to shave your 5 o'clock shadow for a few days so that no one notices the difference when you wear the furry head.