Worst things your parents said to you

[LuckyAmy1986]

As a teen, my dad called me 'loose' and a 'cunt' - not both at the same time. I am in my thirties now and still haven't forgotten/got over it! Is this normal? Wanted to know if other people had similar experiences.

My dad. I was about 12 and with my brother (10). Middle of the day and he was very drunk. Berating is for bring half castes (Irish/Australian). We were petrified with fear as he theatened to kill us all and then pretended to have a gun and shoot us in the head. Cunt.

At 18. They were having a party with my grandma visiting from Ireland, lots of family and friends. I was 18 and a virgin. A male friend had stopped by to pick me up as a lot of friends were going out and I didn’t want to ‘hang out’ With my drunken parents. In the middle of a crowded room he called me a whore and told me to fuck off. The room just stopped and stared. My lovely grandma was devastated. I think she realised her son was a cunt.

Slight derail but can I just ask those who are NC with their parent(s): How do you plan to handle things when your parents pass away? Does it worry you? I'm a year NC with my dad but I was next of kin as he abused most people around him and ended up with only neighbours who like him.

He has two sisters who he sees about once every 15 years and they have been very nasty about me going NC even though they've no idea or interest in the severe mental abuse/manipulation I've been through. I'm scared when he gets ill or dies I will be left to sort everything.

Not my problem, is it?

My parents are not my responsibility.

I’m going through this atm as my mum has dementia and my arsehole father still abuses them all. Last year he punched her and detached her retina.

I am v LC helped by the fact I live half a world away. While my mum was neglectful, I’m sure she’d be ‘normal’ if she wasn’t with my dad. But she wouldn’t leave him.

I don’t know how to handle it moving forward, but I have no doubt it will continue to cause me mental anguish for the rest of my life.

I won't know when they pass away and that works fine for me. I don't feel any guilt. I can't imagine how it's possible to feel such hostility towards your own child. I spent months being told daily that I was going into care and one day she made me post the letter to tell them to come and take me away. I was 9. They didn't come. I have no idea what the letter really was.

My father who I'm NC with now, told me that my mum never loved me. He told me this after she committed suicide when I was a teenager. I will never forget it.

What a despicable thing to say buttercup. So much cruelty on this thread.

As a teenager I was repeatedly told that I was schizophrenic and the symptoms would start any day now.

My mum said on more than 1 occasion that she wished she'd never had me.

I was a normal, healthy child but told constantly I was fat.

Was called 'swimming lard' on holiday in the pool. I was 12. This name has stuck.

After being punched so hard in the face, it broke my tooth by my dad he just said. A dentist can file it down. No remorse. No sorry. I was 14.

When my mum was separating from my dad, she promised she'd take me with her. Two girls living together on their own. Painted this beautiful life we'd have, away from the abuse. Promise she'd never leave me with him. She later told me she wouldn't take me with her. I had to live with my dad as she wanted to live alone with her new boyfriend. I was 17.

These comments make me
Feel so sad ... because you all need to know it's them - not you. You know that UT I suspect you still feel deep in your boots 'what if'
fwiw my parents weren't even close to these disgusting excuses for people and even I feel like that from time to time

My mum told me, drunk, that of course she loved my brother most, he's her boy and first born you can't break that connection.
My dad told me
The same ... drunk too
My dad was drunk another time, I was about 16 I guess and he asked me what turned me on ... I couldn't believe it, surely he didn't mean it sexually I said 'enjoying life and school etc .... he said no what turns you on .... I was a very young naive teen too and I was so shocked - nothing else ever happened and he died when I was late 30's

My mum used to regularly tell me I was a snob because she did crass things, got drunk a lot and would wobble down the street to get herself another litre of whiskey from the off licence and that my cousin was more her cup of tea and was sure she should have been Her daughter ... oh I was also a mistake as she didn't expect to get pregnant so quickly after having my brother (15 months apart)

Oh and when I got my PhD she told me 'I'm
Not going to address things I send to Mr and Dr flumpy as it might upset your husband ... he was stunned as he's really proud of me

My father said lots of unkind things to us 4 siblings. I still don't know if it was deliberate but we all have damaged self esteem because of it. Two that stick in my mind, when I said I wanted to be an actress (at age 5) he told me not to be stupid as I wasn't vivacious enough. Stuck in my mind because I had to ask what vivacious meant. As a teenager, asking for some cash for an evening out he suggested I went on the game if I needed some money. I complained to my mother and she said he was joking. Yeah, well, I don't think that's the sort of joke a father should make.

30+ years ago my dad said to a neighbour 'good job I just got the suspension sorted' and laughed as I got in the car. I was a size 16 at the time. The humiliation of that comment resulted in a lifetime battle with bulimia.

When my baby was in NICU, he was very ill. Obviously I was completely devestated.My MIL came onto the ward and said to me and my husband "well then you shouldn't have had him"

Have a good relationship with my mother but one thing that I always remember was at a family meal, my brother and I ate our food very quickly and someone jokingly asked our mother if she was starving us. She said 'does it look like they are starving?' in a very nasty way. Not ideal to say to a 14 year old girl.

My father: said to me age 5, 'do you want to come with me or stay with mummy, I want you to come with me'. He was in the Navy, often posted abroad so there was no way that was going to happen. I remember being terribly distressed and sobbing to be asked to make that choice and I couldn't answer him. Later I blamed myself because I didn't go with him when he disappeared from my life a few years later due to my mother making it 'too hard' for him to see us.

My mother: too many things to repeat but the two that had a lasting impact were her saying she was afraid I'd murder everybody in their beds when I was sleepwalking. Cue years of being terrified of going to sleep, really suffered horrendously with 'harm' OCD after having DC of my own. I was 12 and I'm not sure I ever did sleepwalk.

The other one was that I was a 'fat, ugly, stinking, bitch like his mother' assuming my paternal grandmother. This was during my teenage years when I was stick thin and, looking back, very pretty but I believed her! Always hyper vigilant that I smell even now. I was also looney, evil, touched, twisted, in need of a shrink, sadly she never took me to one or I would have cut her off completely as soon as I left home at 18, big regrets at that.

She told my 7 year old that he was ugly and stupid, and boring with his 'going on and on' about dinosaurs. She saw him 3/4 times a year and he was so excited to see her every time. His twin however was handsome and very clever which he took to reminding his brother that 'Grandma' had said. Hence the big regret above .

These threads are good in that they remind you that others have had despicable parents too, it wasn't just you and it wasn't your fault.

at the age of 16 I wasn’t told I “deserved” being sexually assaulted, because I was wearing a belly top.

'You should never have been born.' (Found out sixty years later that she'd had at least three abortions).
'Nobody will ever love you.'
'Only one in a million are born like you - why did it have to happen to me?'
'You want to have sex with your father.'

Thanks, mother.

She had some good points. But when she died a few years ago, my main emotion was relief. I can think of her quite pleasantly now she's not here to remind me what a fucking bitch she was.

I was NC with my mother for about 25 years until she died.

My mother really couldn’t understand how she ended up with such an ugly and stupid child, even my primary school teacher told her in front of all the other parents that I am dim, apparently.

I had terrible self esteem not helped by finding solace in food, having to wear the ugliest NHS glasses and crooked teeth. I was a complete embarrassment to her.

I used to buy my mother things with money that I earnt from my part-time jobs when I was at school in the hope that she would be pleasant to me. It didn’t work, she said that I was pathetic and creepy.

Eventually, my mother sold up and moved without giving any forwarding address. I really didn’t care when she died, wasn’t my problem and I didn’t grieve. I think she started a new life up north in the U.K. with distant family and told them a pack of lies about me and my sister, more fool them for believing her.

I am also NC with my father as he chose to abandon me and emigrate to Australia when I was 13. He knew that he had left me with an unstable person, but assumed that as his life improved immensely surely my life was better too?? He has dipped in and out of my life when he feels like it, usually when he wants something or feels sorry for himself. He told me that I do not live up to his expectations - tosser! He will not be my responsibility when he dies and I won’t be grieving.

That I was the least and most insignificant person in our family

When I went to my mum in tears because of relentless bullying at school (name calling and being excluded) she said "Sticks and stones will hurt your bones, but calling names can't hurt you - so just ignore them and it will stop".

It didn't stop, and I didn't ever feel I could tell her - I was so sure she would dismiss me again, and tell me I just hadn't tried hard enough to ignore them. She never bothered to ask if things had improved, either.

As a result, I was having suicidal thoughts at age 14 or thereabouts, and have had a life-long history of depression, poor self esteem and anxiety.

Nowhere near as bad as some of these stories, but - my mother....

"You can't polish a turd"
"Just as well you can't keep the friends you have, it saves us taxiing you around everywhere" (we lived on a very isolated farm.)
"You can twist absolutely anything to suit yourself"
"You came to live with us, we didn't come to live with you"

Also, there was an incident with my father when I was young (under 6). I genuinely can't remember what but I know SOMETHING happened. We were taken to social services and interviewed separately about what happened. I remember everything about the building. I remember sitting in a room with 2 social workers and a doll and then reassuring me that anything I said would help. But I don't remember WHAT I said or why I was there. My mother won't tell me and my dad won't even talk to me if he doesn't have to (and wouldn't tell me if I asked). My mother tells me that 'you always did have a very vivid imagination' whenever I ask about stuff. We once went to a writing group together. I was 15 and wrote a story about a woman being raped. She congratulated me on my imagination (again!), then asked who I'd plagiarised it from. Never once did she ask if it was personal experience 🤔

Oh and she used to tell me that 'I wish your friend (whoever was her favourite that day) was my daughter instead of you'

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius yes! That too. That bloody rhyme. I can't stand it.

My mother said if she had her life over again she wouldn't have children. I'm still upset and it was years ago and she's dead.

Finally plucked up the courage to ring my mum and tell her that I had been attacked in my home at knifepoint and sexually assaulted.

Her rely: Did you do something to make him do that?

Never forgiven her for that. Fucking victim blamed by my own parent.