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Original poster

Worst things your parents said to you

206 replies

LuckyAmy1986 · 19/02/2019 18:14

As a teen, my dad called me 'loose' and a 'cunt' - not both at the same time. I am in my thirties now and still haven't forgotten/got over it! Is this normal? Wanted to know if other people had similar experiences.

OP posts:
Chilli21 · 20/02/2019 13:16

@SDTG completely agree about that bloody useless ‘sticks and stones’ saying. I was relentlessly bullied too and whenever I ever said anything to my mother she said that I either deserved it, needed to ignored it, was too sensitive or I should hit them and if I didn’t hit them, which I never did, I was a failure because I hadn’t done that as well and therefore deserved to be bullied.

The thing is when you are verbally abused at home on a daily basis by the one person who should have your back and also got caught in the cross fire of your parents’ physical fights it means that you aren’t very well equipped to deal with the outside world.

Chilli21 · 20/02/2019 13:20

@wellthatwasunexpected if you really wanted to you could make a request to Children’s Services for your records, they will still have the information on file.

ALargeGinPlease · 20/02/2019 13:37

STDG me too with the 'well, just ignore them' advice when I confided the relentless bullying I was experiencing. What I learnt, is that I was helpless when confronted with bullying behaviour, this has haunted me all my life and only now in my fifties am I able to recognise my passivity in the face of bullies, still got a long way to go to actually stand up to them for myself. ( Low self esteem... See my earlier post)
What I now believe is that my mother was not equipped to stand up to the bullies in her life, so she didn't have the skills to help me. However, there are things my DC have experienced that have forced me out of my comfort zone to help them, so went couldn't she?

MaybeIamUngrateful · 20/02/2019 13:42

"If I had known I was pregnant with you I would have had an abortion" (she found out 4weeks before I was born)

In answer to me telling her I was pregnant with my first.

TheFuckfaceWhisperer · 20/02/2019 13:44

"If abortions were as readily available then as they are now, I wouldn't have had any of you"

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 20/02/2019 13:48

My mother is like Prince Philip - very tactless. She's come out with some right horrors over the years which I don't want to repeat as they'd be very outing. But I know she means well so I just let it wash over me. Love her really.

DarlingNikita · 20/02/2019 13:56

When I went to my mum in tears because of relentless bullying at school (name calling and being excluded) she said "Sticks and stones will hurt your bones, but calling names can't hurt you - so just ignore them and it will stop".

I had a very similar experience. I was physically bullied too – pushed around, my bag grabbed and thrown, forced to 'fight' another girl etc. She would tell me to 'just ignore them', which I couldn't comprehend –how do you, when they're in the same classroom as you and follow you about in the playground?

My mum also used to tell me I had ideas above my station etc etc because my family was working-class and not well off but I was academic and wanted to do A levels and go to uni.

I also have a weird memory, which I realise might not be totally reliable, of being quite young (under 10, I'm sure) and being given money and instructions to buy something from a local shop. I got back and there was confusion over how much change I had, or should have, and remember her saying 'Trying to diddle your own mother?'. If I think about it I can still feel the feelings of shame and confusion I felt over it when it happened.

LonelyMouse · 20/02/2019 13:59

I wish you had died instead of your sister.

Ginny008 · 20/02/2019 13:59

From my father when I was in my early teens many years ago. I was born illegitimate and wanted my birth certificate updated (I was born in a different country outside the UK). "she will have to crawl to me on her knees and beg me before I'll do it". I've never forgotten. He's dead now and I don't miss him at all.

Greensleeves · 20/02/2019 14:02

Oh, I just thought of another one. When I was 18 and my stepfather (who had lived with me since I was 5) stuck his hand up my skirt in front of everyone during a Christmas game.

"I hope you're not going to make a big deal out of this. He's had a bit to drink and just got confused. It's nothing."

Dowser · 20/02/2019 14:21

Omg...these are so horrible
Why did these people have children

MrsGaryLightbody · 20/02/2019 14:25

I thought it was just mine ! I've found my people .
I had two siblings, one died DB, in tragic circumstances. DM announced that it would of been easier to cope with if it had been either of her daughters instead ..but not my DSis as she had young children.. mmm DM that only leaves me Hmm
And the awful thing is I've never told anyone she said it !

AGHHHH · 20/02/2019 14:29

My dad told me I was messed up in the head when I was about 8, because I left a pen on my bedroom floor and he stood on it.

ValleyClouds · 20/02/2019 14:43

"You are just jealous of your sister because you're never going to amount to anything and she is."
My Dear Father

Whilst my sister who was manipulating him for me take the fall for something I didn't do sat there with gloaty face

"WELL if you did get pregnant Valley, then I see nothing for it but to have an abortion because what sort of mother would you be?"

My Dear Mother, who within the same conversation as good as admitted she wished she'd aborted me.

By the same token my sister, who has serious psychological issues that the family either doesn't see or won't acknowledge has been "unfairly robbed of motherhood"

And yet as an adult I am "ungrateful" and have "repeatedly unfairly portrayed them in a bad light to outsiders"

Amibeingnaive · 20/02/2019 14:44

My mum recently asked me if I'd 'heard of the 69', the other day.

Harrowing.

MaMisled · 20/02/2019 14:49

My DM told me when she died, she'd haunt me.

bubblesforlife · 20/02/2019 14:56

'You don't have any friends'

'my daughter is a freak'

That's just what she said last week!

I've oppressed many horrible things.

Chimmychunga · 20/02/2019 16:16

This is really shameful, I'm sorry.

When I was about 10 I had a really itchy bum. Turns out I had thread worms and genuinely thought I might die. I was terrified.

I told my mum who said she would be really cross if I had caught them. I was so scared and kept it a secret for a good few years. Saved up my pocket money and went to the chemist to buy myself medication when I was about 12.

curiositykilledthekat22 · 20/02/2019 16:21

I remember once when I was little I was really upset that my dad didn’t want anything to do with me and my step dad turned around and told me ‘you’re a bitch, no wonder your dad didn’t want you’. It doesn’t sound much but it killed me and has lived with me ever since

NoPlaced · 20/02/2019 16:32

"Why the fuck would I want to get to know you?"
Said by my birth mother when I was 17 and had tried to track down my birth parents (I'd been taken into care as a young child). Although I remembered a lot of the terrible things she'd done, I still wanted to meet her and believe that she'd since changed.

Amibeingnaive · 20/02/2019 16:39

@Chimmychunga gosh, I feel like a prick for my lighthearted submission now. I'm so upset for your young self - that must have been fucking horrendous.

flameycakes · 20/02/2019 16:41

Asked me at 14 if I fancied her new hubby. Also said she'd have no qualms stabbing me if she had to (I was still 14 and she just came out with it out of nowhere), there was lots of other shite too, cutting her out of my life just under 4 years ago was the best thing I ever did x

BrokeLuce · 20/02/2019 16:46

Just the other day my 'D'M called me a.bad mother because I don't brush my hair. She said the fact thqt I don't brush my hair is evidence that I will neglect my 10 month old daughter's hair.

A few months before my wedding she told me that I was stupid for marrying a white man and I could try all I like I would always be black and no amount of trying would change that.

When we though my unborn daughter had Down's I stupidly called her crying and told her about the NIPT test I was paying for that cost £500. She called me stupid, told me that I was useless and that I should give her the £500 and she would pray for me (She's a pastor).

These aren't the worst ones but the others would out me.

If she never spoke to me again it would be too soon.

KittyLane1 · 20/02/2019 16:52

"If girls like you kept their knickers on, things like this ( being raped at 15) wouldn't happen"

My mother dearest.

I remember she would just barge into my room, she would never knock, and she came in one day and looked at me, like really looked at me like she was trying to solve a really hard puzzle and just said " I really can't figure out how you get good looking boyfriends"

She also told me that people can't have sex during the day and that lesbians don't exist, just something girls do for attention.

Hiddenaspie1973 · 20/02/2019 16:55

"Why can't you be more like Denise?"
"Denise wouldn't stand there like an idiot, Denise would help pack the shopping"
"Why haven't you found my shoe yet?"
"You've got tickets on yourself"
"Don't come out of your room without a dressing gown on. You know how Steve is".
There are many more and it partly explains why I'm an anxious fucking wreck.

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