Worst things your parents said to you

[LuckyAmy1986]

As a teen, my dad called me 'loose' and a 'cunt' - not both at the same time. I am in my thirties now and still haven't forgotten/got over it! Is this normal? Wanted to know if other people had similar experiences.

Yeah the “I wanted you aborted but your mum refused” stuck. That and I’m a slag, because a boy liked me.

Surprisingly nc for 13 years.

My dad said "Are you going to be such a miserable fucking bitch your whole life?". Never once asked me why I was miserable. Abusive mother, in case you were wondering.

Describe your daughter in 3 words: stubborn, opinionated, strong willed.
She also told me I never thought about anyone other than myself.

When I was about 14 my Mam told me that if I ate the packet of crisps I had just got out of the cupboard I would end up the size if the back end of a bus..then she said "well you already are". I never forgot it or the impact it had on me, I've had issues with my weight all my life and even more issues with confidence and self esteem. I'm super aware if what I say around my girls.
I've lost 5.5 stone recently and it's changed my life.

If you don't behave I'll send you back (I'm adopted)
I have to love you because im your mother but I don't like you
I think its about time you went (moved out) you've had your time (I was 17)
I suspected all the time you were growing up he was abusing you (on discovering her 2nd husband had abused me from age 10 - 14 when I was 20 - she took his side)
I always wished I had children

We didn't get on, I didn't see her for 20 years before she died.

@LuckyAmy - yeah, it was sort of par for the course a lot of the time. I didn't think I had an unhappy childhood, but when you pieced it all together it's clear that she never ever loved me.

''nobody's looking at you Aldi''
''stop showing off''

Me: am I........... pretty ?
Mum: No, and don't be vain

Mum: Be a secretary
Me: I don't want to be
Mum: it's best you don't aim too high

I was 16 and had been with my bf for 8months.

I asked my parents if I could stay over at his place and they harrumphed and agreed.

The next day my mum sat me down (as if for a serious heart to heart) and told me she’d been so shocked and sad for me as my Dad had furiously said I was “off to the tupping shed”. She could barely conceal her glee when I obviously had to get her to explain...

I was a daddies girl and my mum revelled in any opportunity to make me feel as hurt by my dad as I usually was by her...

Mine are pretty mild in comparison to most of these, but I'll share anyway.

My mum would indirectly call me fat constantly as a child. My sister was very slender and I was a normal weight and if we ever went clothes shopping she would say "oooh your sister looks good in anything, not like us eh Bridget?" Gave me such a bad complex and I absolutely hated myself for years.

Also, her and my Dad told my sister that she didn't want to "end up like Bridget". I dropped out of my A levels to save up to go travelling. Since returning I have gotten my qualifications, have a successful business, paid the mortgage off my first house, married a wonderful man and feel very happy with my life.

We're struggling to conceive though and I was talking to her about it recently and she said to me "well, at least your sister will be having babies soon, she'll be like me and not have any problems getting pregnant". I actually think that is the thing she's said that's hurt me most, to be honest.

@legalseagull, I was watching a summary of donald winicott 's theory on ''jollying along'' where the parent doesn't allow the child to be upset and that was my mum, and it's still my mum. I am literally NOT allowed to be upset and I'm particularly not allowed to be upset by anything she has done even if it was an absolutely shocking display of insensitivity or disregard. She has a pleasant demeanour stapled on at all times and I was forty before I started understanding why I was such a nervous people-pleasing low-achiever.

Oh and when I was 18 she told me that she wouldn't let my sister start going out (to pubs etc) until she was much older, because she was worried about her being assaulted. She said she didn't mind me going though because I was too fat and ugly so no one would even want to rape me.

Just made me think of another my mum would buy me clothes smaller than I was so I could "shrink into them".

@comethefuckonBridget that is shocking, and so groundless

If you lost a stone you’d look okay.

Thanks dad.

That she wrecked her figure having me.
Many many times.
That my hair was a mess and how nice other people's hair was.
How pretty/beautiful etc all my friends and cousins were but I can't recall her ever giving me a single compliment.

There are often threads like this. Ewhurst the worst thing that has been said? What's the worst thing that has happened?
I don't get it. What's the point?
Why do you want to wallow in unpleasantness and hurt?

When I was 500 miles away at uni I was raped. I phoned my mother a few days later. Her reply was "at least he didn't strangle you afterwards" and then hung up on me.

She also made it painfully clear how much money she was losing by not being able to work her night shift when I was told when the trial was starting. I would only be told on a Friday and have to fly up on a Sunday night for a Monday start. She never once offered to support her daughter giving evidence in a rape trial.

My mum used to call me a 'cold hearted bitch '.

I don't love you

Meh. The clearest one is (when I'd eaten half a box of crackers my brother had bought for me because I was hungry, what with having had a single slice of toast for breakfast and it being six hours until a single ham sandwich - one slice of bread, one slice of wafer thin ham, nothing else - for lunch)

'You're fat and and lazy and ugly and this is why nobody likes you'.

I was eight. And underweight.

The funniest? Oh, that was marvellous.

Said with complete seriousness;

'Your problem is that you should have aborted it and got sterilised because you just aren't A Natural Mother Like Me'.

Natural mother? Natural child and animal abuser, perhaps. Natural at intimidation and coercion. Natural at covering her tracks and coming across as a defenceless little doll who needed to be looked after.

But 'natural mother'? Oh, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Also her nickname for me was "dippy dolly bloody daydream". I was suicidally depressed throughout my childhood as my sister spent much of it trying to kill me and she did absolutely nothing at all to protect me.

My mother has said to me that has she known

"Specific thing"

That only applies to one of her 3 children (me)

She never would have had children at all

You'd be pretty if you lost weight

I want to get a portrait done of us all but not until you've lost some weight also

There are often threads like this. Ewhurst the worst thing that has been said? What's the worst thing that has happened?
I don't get it. What's the point?
Why do you want to wallow in unpleasantness and hurt?

Exactly as I said, I wanted to know if it was normal to have parents say such horrible things, or common I suppose rather than normal. I am still bitter years later and thinking about going NC, I can't tell if I am overreacting or not.

There are often threads like this. Ewhurst the worst thing that has been said? What's the worst thing that has happened?
I don't get it. What's the point?
Why do you want to wallow in unpleasantness and hurt?

Exactly as I said, I wanted to know if it was normal to have parents say such horrible things, or common I suppose rather than normal. I am still bitter years later and thinking about going NC, I can't tell if I am overreacting or not.