You're a bloody ignoramus!
(if I misunderstood anything)
You're an embarrassment
(was frequently locked in the house as a young child with my siblings when parents went out as we were all apparently an embarrassment to them)
I don't why I bothered going, she was crap!
(When my mum went to one of my school plays, after much begging & pleading from me. She'd never been to one before and I got so nervous kniwing she was in the audience I stuttered and forgot my lines)
You look like a prostitute
(When leggings came back into fashion)
You're blatantly a lesbian
(Because Im not overly girly. I'm not a lesbian)
Endless jokes and digs about my 'fat arse'
(I have an apple bottom)
Often referred to as 'The Ice Queen'
(Because I was unaffectionate towards my parents as a teen...a product of my unaffectionate upbringing, but actually I'm a warm and loving person now)
My life is so much better since I left you lot (dad after separating from mum)
You know you can get pregnant now don t you? If you get pregnant, you're out lady. There'll be no babies in this house!
(When I started my periods at 13)
Oh for God's sake, its just a period, grow up!
(As above, when I started my periods. I'd bled through my underwear through to my school trousers. I asked if I could get a shower earlier than my usual shower time and get changed)
If you think you're having THAT, going back to work and thinking I'll look after IT, you can think again!
(When I fell pregnant as a fully grown woman. Had absolutely no intentions whatsoever of expecting her to look after my child. Wouldn't want her to!)
Eurgh, I've got a junkie for a daughter! You're so weak and pathetic.
(When mum discovered I was on meds for anxiety and depression)
We're too busy to be running around after you!
(Needed a lift to hospital after falling very ill. She didn't work and literally had nothing on).
You need to reign that kid in!
(When my DS, her GC, got a little over-excited to see her dog, after shouting at him "oh fgs, shut up!". He was 2 yrs old and she hadnt seen him for several months).