Worst things your parents said to you

[LuckyAmy1986]

As a teen, my dad called me 'loose' and a 'cunt' - not both at the same time. I am in my thirties now and still haven't forgotten/got over it! Is this normal? Wanted to know if other people had similar experiences.

That I was useless. The bane of her life. That she was going to leave-she did too resulting in her children going round town Looking for her on a few occasions. Never allowed friends over. It wasn't once offs, the verbal abuse was consistent throughout my childhood. She really resented us all and We walked onbegg shells as a result.

I was expecting you to be a boy.

I’m not coming to collect you [from nursery], you can find a new mum.

You look fat in that [when I was suffering from anorexia].

Never contact me again. I haven’t.

When I was about 14 I asked my mother if I was pretty. She replied that no I wasn't and at best I would only ever be 'mildly attractive'. I have felt ugly every single day since. Unsurprisingly, I've been NC with her for over 35 years.

Finally told my DM (3 years after the event) that I'd been raped aged 13 and she replied 'don't be ridiculous, of course you weren't!' She has apologised numerous times since and I believe her when she says it was a shock reaction but it devastated me at the time. I'd told no one up to that point and it was a long time before I dared risk it with anyone else, being completely honest she probably set my recovery back by years which is hard to accept when she was otherwise a fantastic DM.

You're a bloody ignoramus!
(if I misunderstood anything)

You're an embarrassment
(was frequently locked in the house as a young child with my siblings when parents went out as we were all apparently an embarrassment to them)

I don't why I bothered going, she was crap!
(When my mum went to one of my school plays, after much begging & pleading from me. She'd never been to one before and I got so nervous kniwing she was in the audience I stuttered and forgot my lines)

You look like a prostitute
(When leggings came back into fashion)

You're blatantly a lesbian
(Because Im not overly girly. I'm not a lesbian)

Endless jokes and digs about my 'fat arse'
(I have an apple bottom)

Often referred to as 'The Ice Queen'
(Because I was unaffectionate towards my parents as a teen...a product of my unaffectionate upbringing, but actually I'm a warm and loving person now)

My life is so much better since I left you lot (dad after separating from mum)

You know you can get pregnant now don t you? If you get pregnant, you're out lady. There'll be no babies in this house!
(When I started my periods at 13)

Oh for God's sake, its just a period, grow up!
(As above, when I started my periods. I'd bled through my underwear through to my school trousers. I asked if I could get a shower earlier than my usual shower time and get changed)

If you think you're having THAT, going back to work and thinking I'll look after IT, you can think again!
(When I fell pregnant as a fully grown woman. Had absolutely no intentions whatsoever of expecting her to look after my child. Wouldn't want her to!)

Eurgh, I've got a junkie for a daughter! You're so weak and pathetic.
(When mum discovered I was on meds for anxiety and depression)

We're too busy to be running around after you!
(Needed a lift to hospital after falling very ill. She didn't work and literally had nothing on).

You need to reign that kid in!
(When my DS, her GC, got a little over-excited to see her dog, after shouting at him "oh fgs, shut up!". He was 2 yrs old and she hadnt seen him for several months).

When I was 12, that she she couldn't understand how to love me as she didn't even like me.

"Your brother gets away with it (misbehaving, refusing to do chores) because one day he'll be a man. Your job as a woman will be to keep a man happy, to do the things he doesn't want to do. No, the world isn't fair, it is heavily weighted in favour of men and that's just the way it is."

Thank goodness the world moved on in terms of equality, even if my mother didn't.

Although my mum said some pretty spiteful and nasty things to me it was more what she didn't say that sticks with me the most. Praise, compliments and thanks just never seemed to come my way, even when I'd achieved something amazing or scrubbed the whole kitchen which was grim. Whereas if it was one of my siblings who'd done similar I'd hear her bleating on about how lovely/wonderful/kind/clever etc they were!!

In the end I thought "fuck it" why try so hard when I can just have a laugh and take it easy. I started skipping school a lot, messing around in lessons, didn't speak to my parents unless I had to and later on started going out and taking E's every night....much more fun!

My mum is an alcoholic so I have a variety over the years. I'm immune to it now but the venomous story of how she went to abort me but my dad dragged her out by the hair has stayed with me.

@LuckyAmy186
I tried on and off but he was a very nasty man. He died 2 years ago and none of his family cared enough to go to his funeral.

Thank god I'm not the only one.
Classics from my parents

Its no wonder your sister is our favourite.

Having boys as friends doesn't surprise us as you're a slut

When I was bullied and asked for help.. I was asked what I'd done as I must have done something to make them hate and bully me so maybe I should sort myself out.

When I announced I was pregnant was asked so you've had sex then

After the birth of my first when they visited mother informed me I was still so fat and shouldn't that have gone by now

After my first overdose..... So what's wrong now then.

After my second overdose as letter telling how awful I was and how ashamed she was of me and had always been etc etc

Weeks after that an email to say if I admitted I was mental and begged forgiveness they would consider letting me back in the family

I could fill this thread with awful evil vile stuff said to me over the years but I'd bet you've all heard them yourselves.
Needless to say I finally got over my fear of them and at 38 walked away and never looked back.
Found out after they had been bullying even my kids when I wasn't around making pig noises when they ate and making lewd comments... Both my parents were abusive on many levels. Nc is the only way

LuckyAmy1986 probably less than 10. I recently found out that she got married because she was pregnant with my sibling, then i came along quickly afterwards. So maybe she was just stuck in a marriage with 2 kids that she never wanted in the first place.

Oh and she goes on and on about not having any help despite the many hours i spend running around after her.

"It's your fault I wish I never woke up after my surgery"

Summed up my just-ended relationship as 9 years of being a prostitute.

Both from my mum. I'm NC now and my life feels so much lighter.

"I only need my 2 children" (I'm one of 3)

"You gave me cancer" (because I wouldn't invite someone I didn't know to my wedding - she got cancer a year later)

Both from my mother. We don't speak anymore and am better off.

You look like a trollop.

Told me whilst holding s carving knife above my wrist that they cut the hands of thieves off in the Middle East and he'd do it to me if I didn't tell him where I'd stolen the 20p piece he'd found me with from (5years)

Asked me if I'd given the driving examiner a blow job as I passed my test the first time. (17 years)

Countless shit in between which made me seriously under value myself for most of my life.

Fucking bastard, I wouldn't spit on him if he was on fire.

Aged 5: No I'm too busy to play with you, go away (and repeat)
Aged 10 (crying about being bullied): well I can't help it if no one likes you can I?
Aged 12: you look like a prostitute, you can't go out like that, what will the neighbours say?
Through my teens: you're just like your bloody father (he died when I was 11). Another favourite when I was trying to look nice / worried about my appearance: who's going to look at you anyway?
In my 30s: good thing you don't have children, you're not really the type are you (with absolutely zero knowledge of why I don't have children as I've never discussed it with her)

It's a miracle I have any self esteem at all and that we have a decent relationship!

Mum:

"You can fuck off any time you like, you've never brought me anything but heartache" (when I was packing my stuff into boxes because she was throwing me out, aged 11)

"You can sleep on the fucking floor from now on. You don't deserve a bed, you filthy little bugger" (bedwetting, aged 7)

"You got those A Levels off my back, you've got nothing to be proud of"

"I worry about you and men, Greensleeves, you're gutless and lazy, you'll get walked all over by the first man who pays you any attention"

"You think I killed your baby, I know you're blaming me as always" (on the phone at 4am, after I had a miscarriage during one of her 3 month violent tantrums)

Stepdad:

"No wonder you've got no friends at school, you're turning into a very unpleasant young woman" (aged 11)

"You two deserve each other, you've destroyed each other's potential, neither of you will ever amount to anything now" (when DH and I were engaged and my mother was having another 3 month episode)

My mum's never said anything terrible to me, she just cohabited with a paedophile and stuck her head in the sand.

When I was 12 my mother told me that I was a bother and I asked too many questions. It was the first time I'd seen her since she walked out a month earlier with my dad's "best friend ".

It pops up even now, 35 years later. I've been nc for 12/13 years now. I don't think I'll ever see her again now, and I don't much care.

to everyone. This thread definitely puts my parent issues in perspective.

My father told me when I was twenty that he'd never liked me, even as a baby. My mother has hurt me more even though she's always been more indirect/ dressed things up in faux concern (i.e. she won't say "you've put on weight" but I'll get floods of tears and "I'm so worried about your mental health - you must be depressed because you overeat so much"). The ones that stuck with me are "every time I get something nice, you spoil it" (when I accidentally damaged something in her house, mostly out of nerves because she and my father have always told me I'm clumsy) and "you two are so bloody careless" (not the words but the injustice of it because I hadn't done anything - my younger sibling did, and she'd heard me telling him to put the object down or he'd break it).

"I can't believe you came out of my body/I'm ashamed to call you my child"

Me: Why is Barbie's bottom flat?
M: That's how women are supposed to look. (I idolised my Barbies and from then on as I grew up hated my own body)

Loads of comments about how I look like my aunt.... "You have massive wide saddlebags like Jeanie" (Auntie Jeanie, dad's sister, was/is beautiful and M hated/s her for it)

Contact is minimal now but every time we meet I get a put down of some type. Most usually "You look like you've lost some weight, but not so much on those hips.... such a shame"

When I got back each weekend from my friends house where I slept over in our home town after we moved away, aged 15:

"I suppose you'll be getting straight in the bath now you slag to wash it all away...."

I was getting in the bath Sunday evening so if look presentable to help them run their business I was on the front line of for £50 cash in hand a week but hey ho

'There you go, off out whoring again', I was 15 and a virgin.
'Key' as she held her hand out for the house key after she threw me out with nowhere to go at 17.
Lots more, but luckily I don't think of them too often.
After much work on my self esteem, I know it says more about her then it did about me.

My fear is that I may inadvertently scar my dd's with a careless comment, but I can't imagine ever accusing them of whoring or making them homeless.

Why were so many of us victims of such cruelty? Is it still going on with the next generation? I'm sure none of my friends with children would speak to them like pp on this thread, so are things different now, or if it still going on behind closed doors?

My father was a staunch Labour supporter and HATED the Tories. He absolutely despised Margaret Thatcher.

Once I made a random comment in passing that he disagreed with. He turned on me and hissed, "Your voice! You sound JUST like Margaret Thatcher, I just HATE the sound of your voice."

I was eleven. I'm now in my fifties and I still remember it.