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Original poster

My baby having a baby at 15

155 replies

Kri5te1 · 18/02/2019 20:50

OK so this is my first thread here, my baby who is 15 is pregnant, OK this is not the first teenage pregnancy I have had to deal with, I was 16 when fell pregnant with my first, then she fell pregnant too at 16, but this is my baby I'll always support my kids but this one hurt, things will be hard for her and she won't get much financial help as me and her dad both work full time, and there was me thinking I may be able to cut down on overtime hahaha.

OP posts:

ReaganSomerset · 18/02/2019 20:51

Sorry to hear this, OP.

RaininSummer · 18/02/2019 20:56

Tough situation. Has she considered all of her options?

Lardlizard · 18/02/2019 21:04

Do you think it was planned

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mimibunz · 18/02/2019 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

smartcarnotsosmartdriver · 18/02/2019 21:18

@mimibunz not very helpful. I know a few people who followed in their parents footsteps as it were. I don't know the inner workings of the family so couldn't comment why.
If you read the OP she says that her daughter WONT get financial help because her parents both work full time so get off your tax paying benefit high horse.
Teenage pregnancy happens and with the poor sex education taught in schools I can't say I'm that surprised.

Original poster

Kri5te1 · 18/02/2019 21:27

First of all my sense of responsibility???? I have always been open and honest with my kids and tried to get them to be more careful than I was, what do u want me to do follow them round with chastity belts??? Secondly I was a young mum, but that never stopped me, I went on to get a degree and be able to provide for myself and my family, and thirdly and finally I am a bloody tax payer and have been for many years soo no one but me oh yeah and my husband will help her, now try climbing off your bloody high horse and hopefully u don't fall, I thought this group was for helping people, clearly bloody not

OP posts:

mimibunz · 18/02/2019 22:04

And yet you and two of your daughters had teen pregnancies. Not sure why my post got deleted. I’m not the one swearing.

mimibunz · 18/02/2019 22:05

And I quite like my high horse.

GregoryPeckingDuck · 18/02/2019 22:09

Does it matter? If she’s resilient she’ll be fine as will your grandchild. As pp have said it’s not the first teen pregnancy. On the plus side her child will be two, maybe even three by the time she starts uni. She’ll have it much easier building a career if she stops having children after this one. Especially when all of her female peers start dropping out of the workforce/going on maternity leaves. The promotions reserved for women will be hers for the taking. Just make sure she stays on track. Having children is no excuse for slacking, you area clear example of what can be achieved by teen parents.

AloneLonelyLoner · 18/02/2019 22:13

It's hard. I'm sorry that your daughter is in this situation. On the upside as a previous poster has said, if she calls it a day after this then she'll be streets ahead of her peers after uni. I was a young mum. Struggled and worked my arse off. Got my law degree and now earn well in excess of everyone I know. I have a great family. A great, challenging career and living life to the full where many my age (that I knew from uni) are only now starting families. My eldest is now 22! Good luck to her!

milkissue · 18/02/2019 22:14

Sometimes having a child as young as this actually serves as a huge motivation and you then do better than you would have done if hadn’t got pregnant
Wanting to have a good life for your child is probably the best motivation there is and I know a lot of people including myself who took this path and continued with education and got good jobs

alltoomuchrightnow · 18/02/2019 22:14

Agree with Gregory
I know a 15 yr old who had her baby at 15 and is now a solicitor
It is hard but it can be done, as you've proved

homegrownmumma · 18/02/2019 22:14

Sounds like your a great role model and she will have the best emotional support from you , financially it may be difficult but babies really don't have to cost a fortune

TheFunkyFox · 18/02/2019 22:17

Oh bless you. It’s my worst fear 😩 I was 16 when I had my oldest. She’s now 11 and I fear that she will follow in my foot steps. She struggles with school like I did and I don’t want her to just give up like I did. I put a lot of effort in helping her and pay for private tutoring etc.

As long as she has her family she will be just fine. X

Babyroobs · 18/02/2019 22:34

It's probably most parents worst fear. Hope things work out ok op .

Mrsmadevans · 18/02/2019 22:35

I am so sorry OP you must be so upset but l am sure things will work out in the long run . Just take time and talk to anyone you feel will give you a helping hand to hold and be supportive. l so wish you and your Dd and your Dgc well in the future

questabellatreetop · 18/02/2019 22:37

You poor thing. As a a previous poster said, it's my worst fear for my daughter and my two boys. I had my eldest son at 19 and although I'm in a very good position now it made my life very very difficult to get to where I wanted to be.
It'll be a few stressful years but with parents like you I'm sure everything will be fine.

ReaganSomerset · 18/02/2019 22:39

It's probably most parents worst fear.

Nope, doesn't even crack my top ten. In no particular order, murder, accidental death, life-limiting illness, abduction, rape, mutilation, cancer... There are much worse things than teen pregnancy.

Bigonesmallone3 · 18/02/2019 22:48

If you did it, your first daughter did it, you must of been expecting the same..

I assume you all coped..
Would she be any different?

I fell pregnant with my first at 17, just like my mum fell pregnant with mr at 18, I do think sometimes there is an element of following in the footsteps of..

Theimpossiblegirl · 18/02/2019 22:52

Absolutely agree with Reagan. It's not ideal and not what we wish for our teens, but it's not the worst thing that can happen either. With the right support and encouragement she can still get an education and have a career. If the OP managed to get a degree with a small child, so can her daughter.

OP, this can happen in any family. No point punishing yourself for it.

izekiah · 18/02/2019 23:03

how have both ur daughters had kids so young though ?

Member869894 · 18/02/2019 23:06

far worse things than this happen op. You have gone on to have a life and so will she.

TaimaandRanyasBestFriend · 18/02/2019 23:08

It's not the worst thing that can happen but it's not ideal.

Didn't see the benefits comment but with UC now and most councils no longer having much if any housing I think it's fair to say those days are long gone.

Betty777 · 18/02/2019 23:12

I had my first (and only) at 38. I feel like it was too late.

It might feel not ideal, but there are a lot of benefits of being a young parent instead of an older one - so long as you encourage her to keep working hard (which it sounds like your example has already set for her) so please just try to make her feel like it's a positive choice.

We were really designed to have kids young, just try to remember that :-)

WinterfellWench · 18/02/2019 23:14

She will be OK, and you will be OK OP.

I wouldn't want mine to have babies in their teens and it's not ideal let's be honest. But as a few posters have said, there are worse things that could happen. As long as she has a close, loving family, she will be OK.

I do disagree that lots of teen mums go on to have massively successful professional careers though. Most won't, and I am sick of people pushing that ludicrous agenda, because it builds people hopes up.

I'm not saying a person's life will be ruined if they have a baby at 15-18, but let's not pretend that it's going to help their career, . That's just ridiculous!

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