My baby having a baby at 15

[Kri5te1]

OK so this is my first thread here, my baby who is 15 is pregnant, OK this is not the first teenage pregnancy I have had to deal with, I was 16 when fell pregnant with my first, then she fell pregnant too at 16, but this is my baby I'll always support my kids but this one hurt, things will be hard for her and she won't get much financial help as me and her dad both work full time, and there was me thinking I may be able to cut down on overtime hahaha.

I had my daughter at 17 and it was my greatest worry that she would follow in my footsteps. She turns 19 this year and at every birthday I breathe a sigh of relief that she hasn't fallen pregnant yet. I know it's just a baby but I want more for her and would love for her to go to college,travel and enjoy being young and carefree for as long as she can . Must be an awful shock for you op

My youngest had her baby in November when she was 16. It was a shock I admit. We do tend to have our babies young in my family, just not that young. My mother had me at 17, then 3 more in 5 years. She trained as a nurse when I was 12. I had my son at 19, then completed an English degree between babies 3 and 4. My eldest girl had her son at 18 then completed her degree and teaches in a secondary school now. I think that whilst patterns tend to repeat they don’t always have to be the end.

She’s a really great Mum. She did well in her GCSEs despite the pregnancy. It seemed to drive her on. She’s just gone back to college following her maternity leave to resume her A Levels.

The reality is that most teen parents don’t end up with amazing careers.

TaimaandRanyasBestFriend

Oh, not on MN! Even the 14-year-olds become doctors; none ever has a premature child with disabilities or health conditions and all also go on to marry incredibly successful and wonderful men who are just so happy to be with them and have more and more beautiful children, on top of stellar careers.

😂😆

Why are people saying it must be a shock? Hardly.

It’s baffling that people think it’s the school’s responsibility to provide sex education. It’s not. They simply try to make up for inadequate parenting.

Yes winter the highly successful teen mum does seem to be a MN thing. It also seems that the younger they have them the better the career. There has never been a teen pregnancy on MN that resulted in going on benefits, they all get top results and become high rate tax payers before they are 30

I think you have been too much of a good role model 🤦‍♀️

Yes I am joking

For every Roland, incredibly, well on the way to being a prof at 32, and all the other MN teen mums who have gone on to have amazing careers, hindered not a jot by having a baby before they turn 20, I would wager there are plenty for whom it’s not been the best life choice

I don’t think it’s the teen pregnancy so much as the background/family support making the difference here.

The teen mum I know well as done very well. But then she’s middle class with a supportive, well educated family who encouraged and supported her just as they would of done if she hadn’t got pregnant.

There are a lot of MC posters on MN chances are the people they personally know are doing ok. We should remember that everyone is living different lives with different realities however.

Has she considered a termination? This is far from ideal and tbh in a bit amazed at all of the comments suggesting it wil all be fine.

It depends what your idea of fine is.

That being said, teen pregnancy is quite rare now. Bad luck for it to have affected two girls in the same family.

The reality is she knows you were a teen mum and her sister? (sorry if I’ve misread that). So to her, it’s normal/acceptable. To many people, rightly or wrongly, it would not be considered ‘normal’ or acceptable even in this day and age. I’d be gutted if my DD was pregnant in a years time, she’s 15 in April.

Betty777 I agree that having a baby in your late 30s and later does seem to be ‘too late’ ! I know that this is much more common nowadays and I will be flamed for saying so, but I think having them younger you have much more energy to cope! Obviously, 15 is far too young, but hopefully the teenager in question will receive a lot of emotional support from her family.

It’s a bit silly to present late thirties as somehow ‘past it.’ I am 38. I was not bursting with energy from dewy youth when I had my daughter about a month after my sixteenth birthday!

Your DD has simply followed the pattern she has seen modelled for her by parent and sibling. I don't know why you're shocked or upset. You never see parents wailing: I can't believe my youngest DC has gone to university; we all went there and their older siblings did too but I never expected them to.

Clearly better sex education by you would have helped but that ship has sailed now.

Am also 😂 at the well on their way to being a professor at 32. By the time my sister was made a professor, she was in her late 40s and now has an international reputation in her field, having worked in research for the whole of her career, publishing papers for the whole of that time and now is also lecturing and supervising PhD students at a leading university. To be able to do all that in rougly five years (once you take out the time for the undergraduate degree and PhD) while raising four kids is nothing short of miraculous. It's hardly "the long way round"!

I bet people said the same sort of sneery to shit to Sue Black as well.

Looking at her Wikipedia page, I highly doubt it. She was made a Professor when she was 44, which seems about right, and it is clear from her track record that she has the CV that merits that appointment. If you have achieved all that she has achieved at 57 by the age of 32, including achieving that kind of international profile (numerous awards, it seems, and 13 major publications listed on Wikipedia) then I apologise for doubting you - and am in awe of you achieving all that in such a very short space of time.

immortalmarble Exactly! I did say I would get flamed for saying that having babies later in life was ‘too late’. And also did say being pregnant at 15 was obviously too young! 🤷🏼‍♀️

We definitely need more information about how you can be “well on your way” to being a professor at 32...

Would she not consider a termination?

AS suggests Roland did an access course last year and is now a full time student. So a little further away from professorship perhaps than earlier suggested?

Ah ok I think the path from access course to professor is a fairly lengthy one

Yup, suspect so. It's slightly disingenuous I think. I was a (at post uni 22) single parent and my career was completely fucked. Never recovered, made some inroads but I suspect my unstratospheric career is more the norm despite marrying someone nice later.

Unfortunately teen pregnanies are often repeated through family generations as having a baby at 15/16 is seen as normal and lack of alternative aspiration is a factor. Very sad when children have children.

'on way to becoming a professor could be anything'. Some kids doing gcses could be 'on the way' to being a professor. 'on the way,' just means 'not a professor'.

I applaud anyone who gets an education and especially one whose odds are stacked. However, I don't think anyone would argue that one year post access course is 'well on the way' to Professorship.

I'm also really interested in how Roland is well on her way to being a prof at 32. I'm 37 and on track for professorship but still a few years off.... If I achieve it before I'm 40 I'll be the youngest in my dept. I only have one child - what an achievement to do that with 4!

Op my mum had me at 17 and was a fantastic mum. You sound supportive which will mean the world to get - whatever she decides.