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Original poster

My baby having a baby at 15

155 replies

Kri5te1 · 18/02/2019 20:50

OK so this is my first thread here, my baby who is 15 is pregnant, OK this is not the first teenage pregnancy I have had to deal with, I was 16 when fell pregnant with my first, then she fell pregnant too at 16, but this is my baby I'll always support my kids but this one hurt, things will be hard for her and she won't get much financial help as me and her dad both work full time, and there was me thinking I may be able to cut down on overtime hahaha.

OP posts:
Hollowvictory · 19/02/2019 09:17

Roland did an access course e apparently. But puts a v positive spin on it 😉

CostanzaG · 19/02/2019 09:18

Ah just seen that Roland is one year post Access course......so, although it's a wonderful achievement it's not quite professor level yet then.

MrsJBaptiste · 19/02/2019 09:18

Completely agree Stealth Out of 70+ posts on this thread, there are only a few suggesting this pregnancy doesn't have to go ahead.

Having a baby at 15 is not great at all, no matter what some people say on here. I have boys but if they told me their girlfriend was pregnant at 15, I'd be absolutely devastated.

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Hollowvictory · 19/02/2019 09:19

😂😂😂

immortalmarble · 19/02/2019 09:19

I’m not entirely convinced by it to be honest but I think most are assuming the pregnancy has gone past that being a viable option.

ReaganSomerset · 19/02/2019 09:20

Awww, maybe we can stop poking fun at Roland now? I think the point has been made.

mydogisthebest · 19/02/2019 09:27

I would not want my daughter's future messed up by having a child so young.

If all the stories of the young mums that have gone on to do so well are true then great but the young mums I know have certainly not gone on to achieve anything. One is 25 now with 3 children and has never worked. One is 26 with the 3rd on the way and has only ever done low paid work. I know of at least 3 others with a similar life

TaimaandRanyasBestFriend · 19/02/2019 09:29

Has she considered a termination? This is far from ideal and tbh in a bit amazed at all of the comments suggesting it wil all be fine.

On MN? NEVER. Even suggesting a termination as an option to a pregnant teenager is tantamount to abuse. Of course, it is the making of every teen who has a child, even ones even younger than 15. Everyone has a supportive family (that never includes the dad or the dad's family). No one ever has parents who are disabled or mentally ill, who are carers to a disabled sibling or their own parent, who are on the bones of their arse and have no way of paying for another mouth to feed (and the pregnant teen is too young to claim benefits and the parent can't claim for the kid with the 2-child limit in place), are in overcrowded housing and unable to afford to move (and in a council where that's not possible). Nope, it's all going to be fine!

immortalmarble · 19/02/2019 09:29

Many wouldn’t have anyway mydog

immortalmarble · 19/02/2019 09:31

Well, I certainly didn’t have a supportive family, and a termination actually WASN’T an option for me. It also isn’t an option at all if you live on the wrong side of the Irish Sea which I think some of you forget Hmm

formerbabe · 19/02/2019 09:36

I see no reason to struggle, to suffer financially and to still attempt to have a successful career despite all the obstacles that having a baby young will bring when we have choices in this country.

Personally, I'd think termination would be the better option. But, I don't consider it to be a huge deal...more a simple solution to a situation which is undoubtedly going to cause huge numbers of difficulties in her life.

I hope my post hasn't offended anyone and ultimately, it's always the mother's choice.

ReaganSomerset · 19/02/2019 09:48

the young mums I know have certainly not gone on to achieve anything. One is 25 now with 3 children and has never worked. One is 26 with the 3rd on the way and has only ever done low paid work. I know of at least 3 others with a similar life

Some people would call raising three children an achievement. How much someone earns is not the only viable measure of success.

BusterGonad · 19/02/2019 09:49

How do young mums afford a degree? I'm baffled, if I wanted to get one I'd have to pay through the nose, do young mums on benefits get free higher education?
I too I'm surprised at the amount of young mums who have amazing careers, who cared for your child/ren when you were doing night school?

BusterGonad · 19/02/2019 09:50

And Roland you are an inspiration! Truly!

TaimaandRanyasBestFriend · 19/02/2019 09:54

do young mums on benefits get free higher education?

No. Children of low income parents may qualify for higher loan amounts, but that's what they are now: loans. UC also counts the loans as income and lowers the award accordingly.

My cousin had her first child a couple of days after she turned 17. She and the father got married but the only way she got through secondary school and then became a dental nurse is because her in-laws were able to help with childcare. Her own mother was a single mum with 2 other children and a FT job and she, although as helpful as possible, was not able to provide loads of childcare because she had bills to pay.

Needless to say, cousin never 'fell pregnant' again until she was 25.

She's still married to the same bloke and the kids are all grown up. But it was a hard lesson to learn.

StealthPolarBear · 19/02/2019 10:00

That woukd be good if they did

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 19/02/2019 10:01

Talk to her about a termination.

Elfinablender · 19/02/2019 10:01

I'd talk plainly with her about the possibility of a termination.

I wouldn't want her to feel that she must continue with the pregnancy simply because that was the path taken by you and your dd1.

clairestandish · 19/02/2019 10:04

Agree with PPs that it’s important to discuss all options with your DD. How far along is she?

Re higher education, I’m currently looking into a postgrad course and even though I’m an older mum the same restrictions with kids apply to me but there is help available to cover childcare and the course/living fees will be a loan anyway. The majority of people I know haven’t paid upfront for their degree kids or no kids.

Being a teen parent undoubtedly makes things harder, but it really doesn’t write off further education and getting your desired job.

PlasticPatty · 19/02/2019 10:08

Best wishes, OP, for you and your daughter, the new baby if she goes ahead with the pregnancy, and all.

Our society is set up to keep young people as children until they're in their early twenties. Then they become parents at 30+. That isn't healthy. Better to have your children young-ish, and do the other stuff later. You went on to get your degree, I got mine in my thirties. You'll give your baby the support you can, and you have the advantage of having experienced similar yourself. If she decides a termination is best for her, I'm sure you'll support her in that, too.

StealthPolarBear · 19/02/2019 10:24

It is not better to have a baby at fifteen. 20+ and I agree!

merrybloomizoothief · 19/02/2019 10:28

I would making an appointment for her to talk to the bpas.
I would not be thinking that going through with it would be best option.

Snowmaggedon · 19/02/2019 10:33

Young and free that puts this into perspective doesn't it.

TaimaandRanyasBestFriend · 19/02/2019 10:37

That woukd be good if they did

What would be? Don't see why people should be rewarded for fecklessly reproducing as teens with free higher ed. Wow, so the ones who were responsible get punished by having to pay and borrow but the ones who didn't get it all free? Glad it doesn't work that way.

Ella1980 · 19/02/2019 10:37

Having a baby is hard at any age. It's not something I would have even contemplated at 15 (and it would have been impossible unless by miracle!)
I had my first at 26 and that was hard because I didn't have a clue what to expect really. Second at 29 was easier because I had more confidence. I am 38 now and haven't ruled out another with my fiance (I divorced my boys' dad when they were 3 and 7) but I'm really not sure because I worry abut how I'll cope as an older mum.