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Original poster

My baby having a baby at 15

155 replies

Kri5te1 · 18/02/2019 20:50

OK so this is my first thread here, my baby who is 15 is pregnant, OK this is not the first teenage pregnancy I have had to deal with, I was 16 when fell pregnant with my first, then she fell pregnant too at 16, but this is my baby I'll always support my kids but this one hurt, things will be hard for her and she won't get much financial help as me and her dad both work full time, and there was me thinking I may be able to cut down on overtime hahaha.

OP posts:
meow1989 · 18/02/2019 23:15

This must be a shock for you op. How far is she? Is she accessing antenatal care? Have you explained her options to her?

If she wants to progress there's nothing to say e won't be a fantastic mum, though things will undoubtably be hard (As you well know).

Youngandfree · 18/02/2019 23:17

A friend of mine got pregnant young and was so upset telling her Mum... she cried for about an hour before she could speak and when she blurted out “I’m pregnant” her Mum responded
“oh thank god! I thought you were sick or someone had hurt you, or you were in big trouble !!” “A baby I can manage, i can always love a baby!”

I cried because I thought!! She is so right! It’s not a perfect situation but neither is it a disaster, and not a worst fear. Death or severe illness etc is a worst fear! A baby!! Well who couldn’t love a baby!! 💕💕 like you said OP she’s not the first teenager to get pregnant (nor will she be the last) trust the process!

questabellatreetop · 18/02/2019 23:18

@ReaganSomerset

*It's probably most parents worst fear.

Nope, doesn't even crack my top ten. In no particular order, murder, accidental death, life-limiting illness, abduction, rape, mutilation, cancer... There are much worse things than teen pregnancy.*

Ok, yes, I was probably being melodramatic, teen pregnancy most definitely is not my WORST fear!!!!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
RolandDeschainsGilly · 18/02/2019 23:19

@izekia do you not know how babies are made hun? Hmm

OP ignore the ridiculous comments.

I had DC at 18/21/24 and 29 and I’m now 32 and well on my way to becoming a Professor. I took the long way around but I’m here now Wink

The only reason I worry about teen pregnancy is because I worry how they’ll cope with judgey arsehole comments like the ones above Angry

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 18/02/2019 23:23

There are worse things in life than a baby. And there are also worse things than choosing not to have a baby.

She has you, so, whatever happens, she'll be fine.

elasticfantastic · 18/02/2019 23:29

OP Thanks
My mum had me when she was 16... she was a single parent for all but the first two years (dad was an abusive twat) .. she worked bloody hard, did night classes to get qualifications and is the most amazing woman I know.. she fully pushed me and supported me to be my best and I have a great career and marriage... just because she's young doesn't mean she won't be an amazing mum... good luck to you all xxx

fasparent · 18/02/2019 23:34

These will be able too offer family help and support, will appoint a family nurse practitioner too support your daughter for 3 years, with finance advice, housing, continuing education, nurse will visit on a weekly basic is more of a friend and advocate too help you all through situations the family may encounter. Would speak too midwife or contact them directly if you have not already. www.fnp.nhs.uk wish you all the best.

Bluesmartiesarebest · 18/02/2019 23:35

This may not be a popular opinion but is abortion an option? I would definitely have not have encouraged my DCs to have a baby at 15 or 16. The reality is that most teen parents don’t end up with amazing careers.

I hope you and your family are ok.

evaperonspoodle · 18/02/2019 23:36

Roland you have really caught my eye, I am amazed that you are nearly a Prof at 32, that is certainly not the norm in my field let alone for a woman who has had 4 dc. Where abouts are you (roughly) in the UK?

TheVanguardSix · 18/02/2019 23:37

It's tough. But she has a great example in you, OP.

And Lord no it's not a parent's worst fear, as someone mentioned. Not by a longshot. Ideally, we want our kids to have a life of their own before becoming parents. But the rest of us have kids and keep on evolving, dreaming, achieving goals and missing opportunities. Life keeps on going. And your DD will continue to work towards her ambitions. Having a baby at 15 doesn't mean the end of the world. It'll be up hill, but where there's a will, there's a way.

Make sure she finishes her education. And if she can go onto university, even better. Make sure she can still arm herself with qualifications for the future.

Thequaffle · 18/02/2019 23:41

Flowers You sound like a lovely supportive mum so she will be just fine. And on the plus side, by the time she is in her thirties her child-raising work will largely be done and she will still be young! It’s not all doom and gloom xx

TheVanguardSix · 18/02/2019 23:42

And yes, I meant to write 'missing opportunities' because we do. That's life. Hit or miss. Whether we have kids or not. Whether we are parents at 16 or 38, we go through the same ups and downs. Just make sure your DD has a strong sense of purpose and ambition. She can be a great mum and still reach out to grab opportunities and achieve. It won't be easy. But when is life easy? She's got her emotionally supportive family and that's half the battle won. Smile

WinterfellWench · 18/02/2019 23:44

@evaperonspoodle

Roland you have really caught my eye, I am amazed that you are nearly a Prof at 32, that is certainly not the norm in my field let alone for a woman who has had 4 dc. Where abouts are you (roughly) in the UK?

Yes it is incredibly unusual isn't it?

In fact, I can honestly say I have never met a single woman in my entire life, who had their first kid at 18, and had 4 kids by 30, who ended up being a professor by 32 (when the youngest kid is only 3 by the way!)

It's like something out of a far fetched romcom.

There are always a few posts like that on threads like this though. I don't know why people post this stuff tbh.

WinterfellWench · 18/02/2019 23:47

As I said, I am not saying having a baby in your mid teens will wreck your life. But these posts that ALWAYS appear on these threads, with outlandish claims of people who have a masters, and a mid 6 figure career at 30, (even with 5 kids aged between 3 and 15,) are just laughable. It just doesn't happen.

HerRoyalNotness · 18/02/2019 23:48

Nope not the worst thing that can happen to your DC by a long shot. At least you have the experience to understand what she is going through and able to give advice when needed. I’m sure she will be fine I. The long run.

Not sure why a pp lays blame of lack of sex Ed at schools doorstep. Parents have responsibility here for that, but with all the will in the world you can’t make another person use the advice!

izekiah · 18/02/2019 23:48

of course I do, lol !

I simply mean that it’s pretty bad to be perfectly honest that two daughters have gone on to be teenage parents at such young ages !

NotANotMan · 18/02/2019 23:52

Have you taught your children that abortion is wrong? Overtly or subconsciously? I notice that very young mums often have a block about the concept of abortion and wonder where it comes from. Do you think it would be better for her and her potential children if she had them a bit later on?

Jitterbugz · 18/02/2019 23:57

The only reason I worry about teen pregnancy is because I worry how they’ll cope with judgey arsehole comments like the ones above

This. DD is about to have NHS IVF at 19, she's getting lots of judgmental pricks' comments. Your daughter will be fine OP, DS was born when DP was 16.

TaimaandRanyasBestFriend · 19/02/2019 00:01

The reality is that most teen parents don’t end up with amazing careers.

Oh, not on MN! Even the 14-year-olds become doctors; none ever has a premature child with disabilities or health conditions and all also go on to marry incredibly successful and wonderful men who are just so happy to be with them and have more and more beautiful children, on top of stellar careers.

RolandDeschainsGilly · 19/02/2019 00:07

Hmm Never said I am a Prof, just that I’m well on my way. I bet people said the same sort of sneery to shit to Sue Black as well.

clairestandish · 19/02/2019 00:07

The OTT claims of single teen mums having six figure salaries or whatever by age 30 are often far-fetched for anyone though, teenage parent or not.

I do know of plenty of young parents who still achieved their desired career despite having kids young. My friend had a baby at 17 and did nursing at uni. She’s now a nurse which is exactly what she wanted to achieve before getting pregnant, so the pregnancy didn’t ruin her life plans. She’s now 28 with an 11-year-old DD so has a lot more of her ‘life’ back than those of us who are just beginning to head into pregnancy/babies/toddlers.

I agree it’s not realistic to say loads of teen mums end up with amazing high-flying careers but plenty go to uni and follow the job path they intended.

RolandDeschainsGilly · 19/02/2019 00:08

My DSis was a teen parent and has zero career because her DD inherited a form of muscular dystrophy from her father (who has never been around but let’s not get me started on that)

dreichuplands · 19/02/2019 00:09

roland may be in the US where I think the term professor is used more generically so they may be working their way through Uni and about to become a junior lecturer which would seem possible.

OP having dc very early is obviously a cultural norm in your family so you should all be able to cope well.

UniversalAunt · 19/02/2019 00:11

“Especially when all of her female peers start dropping out of the workforce/going on maternity leaves. The promotions reserved for women will be hers for the taking. ”

Dang, I missed that memo.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 19/02/2019 00:15

Have you discussed how an abortion is a viable option and will allow her to continue her life with her peers?