Do you ever give your YOUNG child (age 5/6) a 'mental health day' off school if they're just knackered, overwhelmed and a bit run-down?

[JessiCake]

I'm torn whether to send DD (Yr 1) in tomorrow.

Health-wise, she has a runny nose (but that's all) and she's very, very tired. The cold weather really takes it out of her, school lunches have been crap for the last few days (and she's scrawny so a couple of tiny meals means she loses energy quickly), and she's had a random couple of bad nights' sleep.

Because of all this (and because she's a very sensitive little soul who's easily over-wrought) she's feeling, well, overwrought

She was a little better after a good hot meal, a bath etc this evening, and I got her to bed extra early.

But if she's still peaky, tired, and overwrought in the morning, would you send her in or would you let her have the day off?

I don't have to be anywhere tomorrow, I'm freelance and for once I have no pressing work deadlines.

Is it silly to let such a little child have what my friend with teenagers calls 'a mental health day' (basically a duvet day)?

I would never tell DD this is what I was doing for her, btw. I would just say as she's obviously feeling peaky and run-down, she's staying home.

Does anyone else do this? Am I being a massive softie/snowflake/insert abusive name here?

fwiw she's doing more than fine at school so a day off isn't going to affect her progress academically.

No but there are weeks we haven’t completed all the homework or given after school clubs a miss. It is not something I would consider.

I do. They are not going to learn if they are feeling like that. Build up resilliance and keep them well - in all senses. At 5years old it is important to build up stamina but dragging them to school will make them ill - they will pick up bugs etc so much worse if they are exhausted.

I wouldn’t but working full time it’s never been an option.
I wouldn’t because I think it sets a precedent forever more.... but she is only year 1.
Only you can decide

You're her Mum and you know your child best

FWIW I have done this, viruses can make you feel rough mentally as well as physically.

I have given her an extra few hours at home in bed this year/last year but maybe this has happened 3 times in 18 months. Her attendance is 98% so it's not like she's a regular absentee.

Give the child what she needs to thrive.

Thx everyone.

louiseaaa, I think that's the reason I had the idea in the first place, whenever DD has gone down with a nasty virus in the past it's always started the day before with a mood like she was in tonight, just weepy and fractious and not 'herself'.

I'm going to keep an open mind and decide in the morning.

Thanks v much for posts!

Yes definitely! I’ve done this before. My daughter is in Year 1 too and they’re so young sometimes they just need a little break!

Of course. She is a tiny kid and your responsibility is to protect her and keep her health up. Don't let her get run down.

So depressing that people think such small kids have to obey the system rather than grow and develop properly

I wouldn’t if they are not actually ill. I might just mention to the teacher they are a bit tired/ under the weather in the morning. But I disagree completely with setting the precedent that it’s ok to take time off because you are tired/bit run down/ don’t feel up to it. That’s going to follow then through life - I prefer telling my kids that sometimes we go have to do things when we don’t feel like it, that’s just part of life. I’d just make sure she chills out once at home and has a few early nights.

No. They have to learn resilience. However, I would promise a nice treat when she got home, like a movie on the sofa with popcorn.

I’ve done this - in fact I did it for my 9 year old DS this week. He is a brbudner the weather but nothing serious, however he was tired and emotional and really just needed a rest

Yes. Do it. I recommend the film Moana.

Oops, see everyone else disagrees though....

I would. We need to be taught from an early age that it is a good thing to take care of ourselves, and young children need their parents to do that for them.

Yes sometimes if they seem a bit under the weather but you can’t put finger on it.

Only every now and then though. Once a year at most.

Also wanted to add that my strapping 18 year old (who was the duvet day child) is very resilient and hasn't had a day off work since starting in October last year (He's having a gap year and working at M&S to pay for his travels)

He's also been taken on a full time contract and they're training him to work in the bakery.

We've always set an example at home of working hard but looking after ourselves, self care is a key skill that I believe we should all cultivate.

and cross posted, there !!

Yes. You know she’s under the weather, a day resting will do her good. Mental health is important too.

You sound like a wonderful parent.

Yes. I think you have to weigh up that they need to be taught to persevere and to face adversity with the fact that children can be overwhelmed, particularly those with social and emotional issues.

My daughter is a stoic and a Trojan but sometimes it’s too much for her because she’s not spoken at school all day for weeks (due to social anxiety/selective mutism) and many homework and revision tasks all pile in at once. If she’s overwhelmed I will give her a day off. It tends to be about twice a year.

I wouldn't personally. I think it sets a precedent. If ill definitely, but not just for feeling tired.

Yes I have a number of times in reception and again in yr1

It can set a precedent, but you know your child. You can tell, if they really need it. It acts like a factory reset and in my case she doesn’t take it as a green light to get a to more time off.

I did so at a similar age, because I saw no point setting him up to fail. It was always as he was coming down with something, and the school had no problem with it. He'd go back in well-rested and in the right frame of mind to tackle the day. But I didn't do it beyond Y1: I found by the end of that year he was able to take more in his stride as he got used to being out of a play based learning environment and into one that was more intensive.

Yep I would if I genuinely thought they needed some r&r time. Sometimes a rest to recharge the batteries is good for the soul.