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Original poster

Do you ever give your YOUNG child (age 5/6) a 'mental health day' off school if they're just knackered, overwhelmed and a bit run-down?

194 replies

JessiCake · 22/01/2019 21:03

I'm torn whether to send DD (Yr 1) in tomorrow.

Health-wise, she has a runny nose (but that's all) and she's very, very tired. The cold weather really takes it out of her, school lunches have been crap for the last few days (and she's scrawny so a couple of tiny meals means she loses energy quickly), and she's had a random couple of bad nights' sleep.

Because of all this (and because she's a very sensitive little soul who's easily over-wrought) she's feeling, well, overwrought Grin

She was a little better after a good hot meal, a bath etc this evening, and I got her to bed extra early.

But if she's still peaky, tired, and overwrought in the morning, would you send her in or would you let her have the day off?

I don't have to be anywhere tomorrow, I'm freelance and for once I have no pressing work deadlines.

Is it silly to let such a little child have what my friend with teenagers calls 'a mental health day' (basically a duvet day)?

I would never tell DD this is what I was doing for her, btw. I would just say as she's obviously feeling peaky and run-down, she's staying home.

Does anyone else do this? Am I being a massive softie/snowflake/insert abusive name here?

fwiw she's doing more than fine at school so a day off isn't going to affect her progress academically.

OP posts:
SolitudeSometimesIs · 22/01/2019 22:27

Yes, I do this. But I am in Ireland where there are no fines/sanctions for having a day off. DS1 had a day off last week because he was very tired and had aching pains in his joints. A day in my bed watching tv and resting and he was all set for school the next day. Kids get rundown just as we do.

2019Dancerz · 22/01/2019 22:27

Could be, myfriendgoo, though a day sleeping shift worker would struggle with a small child at home - maybe they all have 5-11pm shifts? Do you think that’s more likely than that they don’t work?

MrsDeanWinchester75 · 22/01/2019 22:27

My dd is the same age and I wouldn't keep her at home for a runny nose and being tired.

You say the meals are rubbish and she perked up after a decent meal, I'd send in a decent packed lunch and maybe a dose of Calpol.

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GerryblewuptheER · 22/01/2019 22:30

Could be, myfriendgoo, though a day sleeping shift worker would struggle with a small child at home - maybe they all have 5-11pm shifts? Do you think that’s more likely than that they don’t work?

I work from 6-10 most nights and sometimes a longer shift on a Sunday. If that helps Hmm sometimes I even do split shifts.

StitchingMoss · 22/01/2019 22:33

OP, I’m guessing she’s not robust because she knows she can stay at home if she’s tired?

My DC are incredibly robust but I’ve never kept them at home. I’m a teacher and it’s not an option for us.

MutantDisco · 22/01/2019 22:33

My mum sent me into school with a temp of 40 degrees. I was hospitalised later that day. She quite often boasts of having been sick in the toilets at work and carried on. I resent her attitude to sickness.

However, I'm a teacher and can't take days off, so send DS1 in whether he's under the weather or not (he's never had a stomach bug, obviously I wouldn't send him in with D&V). I also teach far too many children who are permitted days off with a sniffle, attendance can take a sharp dip very quickly.

I think a quiet weekend off is better than a school day.

Joinourclub · 22/01/2019 22:35

Yes I have done this once . And a few times they have been so tired that I have just not had the heart to wake them in the morning, so I have allowed them to sleep in and go in late. I’m a teacher so I get that attendance is important, but no point in being there half asleep and unable to concentrate.

m0therofdragons · 22/01/2019 22:35

No but I always planned in quiet weekends and downtime in the evenings. My twins are youngest in the year (end of August) so I needed to ensure they didn't get tired. They only miss school if they're ill though.

HarrySnotter · 22/01/2019 22:42

No I wouldn't. I would be more inclined to have an early tea and bath and early to bed. I wouldn't plan anything for the weekend.

I think children need to learn that it's ok to be tired but sometimes you just have to get on with your day when you're tired. It's just the way it is on occasion.

Bythebeach · 22/01/2019 22:44

I absolutely do with my yr 1 child. My yr 6 and yr 9 only if they are properly ill but I did the same with them when younger. I think little kids sometimes do need a day off to rest and are better for it.

Bythebeach · 22/01/2019 22:48

MutantDisco - what do you mean by a sharp dip? And are there obvious educational/social repercussions if say attendance dips to 94% in a term?

Sproutingcorm · 22/01/2019 22:58

All DC are different in terms of robustness and susceptibility to fatigue etc. I would definitely let a 5/6 year old have the day off if they were weepy/overwrought (not if they were bouncing around the following morning obviously!). I wouldn't once they were a bit older though. I think by the age of eight /nine they need to experience going in feeling a bit tired or a bit below par and gradually build their confidence to know that they can cope.

MrsBunTheBakersMum · 22/01/2019 23:01

About twice a year we come to the conclusion that everything is going wrong and everyone is tired and stressed so we plan a day when dh is off work and we take ds out of school for the day.
He has asd and gets really overwhelmed and stressed and it leads to meltdown and aggression so we all have a day off and “reset” we go out to places we can’t go to usually as too busy so museums, soft play, swimming etc ds never asks for the day off and it’s always worked out that he is so much calmer during that day and then after that it’s definitely worth it. We’ve done it since nursery and I have no concerns about it affecting his education as he’s more than a year ahead of his peers academically. The last time we took him out of school we even told his teacher why we were doing it and she agreed it was needed.
He’s been biting again recently and his meltdowns are increasing so I think we’re building up to a day off.
Might go to the coast for chips and ice cream.

FatandSassy · 22/01/2019 23:03

My son is 5 and when he gets like this he just wants all the cuddles from mummy. He usually gets me, a big bowl of hot porridge and a bed time of 5pm. I sit and cuddle with him until he's asleep and the next morning he's right as rain and raring to go.

It's a lovely thought OP, and you're right, our little ones do get very overwhelmed at this age. They just need a little bit of TLC sometimes.

MrsBunTheBakersMum · 22/01/2019 23:03

He’s year 3 by the way.

GerryblewuptheER · 22/01/2019 23:07

Is there room for an extra bun

Between phonics test practices and stats prep, there are a few times in the course if school where the intense pressure, boredom of repeating the same stuff over and over and over again and the resulting disruption frok being bored shitless and not having a proper lesson in.what seems forever just gets a bit much for even the most adaptable children.

They learn nothing when they are at that point. One day saves several days after

squeekums · 22/01/2019 23:08

Yep, id do it

Perfectly1mperfect · 22/01/2019 23:12

If she's under the weather and tired then she'd probably benefit from a lazy day at home with you. I sometimes find when I send my daughter in when she feels like this, she ends up missing more time a few days later. She's only young, let her have the day off to rest.

FruitCider · 23/01/2019 06:42

Vast number of people who don’t work full time on this thread.

😂 I average 45 hours a week, split unto 12.5 hour shifts. Not everyone works mon - fri 9-5

flatpackbox · 23/01/2019 06:55

Yes, I have done this throughout school years, only the very odd day, DD has something like 98% attendance generally as she usually saves being ill for the school holidays.

flatpackbox · 23/01/2019 06:56

Vast number of people who don’t work full time on this thread

I work very full time, I either work from home or take time in lieu.

MaverickSnoopy · 23/01/2019 07:00

No I wouldn't, at least not with my only school age child (Y2). She would suss what I was doing and would try it on in future. I have also sent her to school when run down and with colds/coughs/aches. You know your child best though.

What I do do when she's run down or as you describe is forget homework and relax after school. Usually come in and put bath on and straight into pj's, perhaps dinner at the kids table (instead of dinner table) and cosying up in front of TV with blankets. We actually did similar last night as we've had a lot of illness in our house recently we felt downtime was needed so put on pj's, a movie and had popcorn and hot chocolate, before dinner!! Dinner was homemade chicken soup and crusty bread and then probiotic yogurt. We all felt relaxed and at ease last night.

Beerflavourednipples · 23/01/2019 07:05

It wouldn't even occur to me to do this!

Rockbird · 23/01/2019 07:15

Yes I have done this. My youngest hasn't needed it, she's a different kind of child but my eldest is painfully anxious and a huge worrier. She's now in year 6 and worse than she's ever been. As always, people forget that mental health is just as important as physical health. You need to take care of both.

FuckingYuleLog · 23/01/2019 07:18

I wouldn’t because she’s tired and has a runny nose. An early night, a big breakfast and off to school. I’d also consider packed lunches if the meals are often inedible.