Do you ever give your YOUNG child (age 5/6) a 'mental health day' off school if they're just knackered, overwhelmed and a bit run-down?

[JessiCake]

I'm torn whether to send DD (Yr 1) in tomorrow.

Health-wise, she has a runny nose (but that's all) and she's very, very tired. The cold weather really takes it out of her, school lunches have been crap for the last few days (and she's scrawny so a couple of tiny meals means she loses energy quickly), and she's had a random couple of bad nights' sleep.

Because of all this (and because she's a very sensitive little soul who's easily over-wrought) she's feeling, well, overwrought

She was a little better after a good hot meal, a bath etc this evening, and I got her to bed extra early.

But if she's still peaky, tired, and overwrought in the morning, would you send her in or would you let her have the day off?

I don't have to be anywhere tomorrow, I'm freelance and for once I have no pressing work deadlines.

Is it silly to let such a little child have what my friend with teenagers calls 'a mental health day' (basically a duvet day)?

I would never tell DD this is what I was doing for her, btw. I would just say as she's obviously feeling peaky and run-down, she's staying home.

Does anyone else do this? Am I being a massive softie/snowflake/insert abusive name here?

fwiw she's doing more than fine at school so a day off isn't going to affect her progress academically.

I never have with mine. I’m inclined to agree with those pps who say it sets a bad precedent. But then my dc are pretty robust, so it’s never been an issue.

I would be ok with it very, very rarely and at my own instigation (ie not allowing them to decide they CBA). However I would try and cut out after school clubs, homework, weekend plans or anything other than lazing about after school if possible first.

We have an INSET day next week and I'll be glad for it, my 4 year old is on her knees.

I would. If they are tired they are not going to learn much.
In fact I have done much worse. My Y10 DS had a very tough autumn term working on one of his GCSEs, going to school when ill (his choice) and at the of the term he was worn out. So I let him stay at home one day just because he was tired. The look on his face when I told him, was totally worth it.
I work at a secondary school myself and sometimes wish the parents would think twice before sending unwell children to school.

Thanks again everyone.

I don't have worries about it setting a precedent as DD doesn't tend to be the kind of child that will try to wangle something on the basis that it's happened once before... plus I'd be massively playing up the whole 'you're not well' line, partly because if she is going to get a day off, I want to be clear with her that she's 'poorly' and has to actually rest, not bounce around the house like a mad thing (which she will want to do if she's over-tired - that's her 'thing!)

Thank you to the nice poster who said I sound like a wonderful parent - very kind and not always remotely true but I do my best, as we all do x

I had an aunt who did this a lot. Problem is, my cousins both failed to get any decent qualifications because they took the day off every time they felt mildly not up to it (both got kicked out of college for not attending).

One of them is still at home in her mid twenties, jobless because she doesn't like the idea of interviews. It's one thing while they're five, but don't let it set a precedent.

Venus, ah, you see, the word 'robust' is pretty much the LAST word I'd ever use to describe my DD I long for her to be more robust but it's taking a while and kid gloves!

I did this a couple of times when my DD was is Reception last year and now she's in Y1 I'll do so again if she needs it.

What's the point in running a 5 year old into the ground and getting ill?! You know your child best.

What's t

No.
I just gave them coco pops and chocolate spread on toast for breakfast to get them going.

Yes, I did this with both DC when they were tiny...especially near the end of Christmas term when they were knackered. They are both introverts and sometimes just the amount of PEOPLE stuff was just too much...nativity, carol service, parties, bazaars, etc etc.

Mental well-being is important

Yes I have done this.

Also when ds was in reception we flexi-schooled him so he had every Wednesday off. He is summer born and very small. When he started school full time in reception he changed from a lovely placid child to crying and being very aggressive. Taking him out on a Wednesday was the best thing, He returned to being calm and happy. He went back full time in Year 1.

My mum did this when we were younger I'd do it yes

My Y1 DS caught the virus my 4yo has been plagued with for 5 weeks (on and off) so he's already missed 3 days this term. We also need to miss another 2 for a family wedding abroad so I need him in everyday.

It's so early in the term to need a day off???
But I think given your situation OP, it wouldn't be the end of the world.

I definitely would if I didn’t have to work

I have and I do. It’s a long day for tiny people.

Yeah go for it. She’s only little. I used to do that with my little ones, but they’re all bigger now and usually get 100% attendance. If she’s run down already, she’d just be vulnerable to bugs in school anyway. You’re not being a snowflake, you’re being sensible.

Yes I have given my 6 year old a duvet, and I allow myself to have one if needed. It's all very well and good talking about "resilience", but what forms resilience? Kindness to yourself and others!

Yup, I do it here too. They are still so little! My Ds teacher / head teacher actually will say that they need a duvet day, or to come in late and let them have a lie in (it’s a private school so not sure if they can be more flexible). They will learn more if they are rested and not run into the ground!

Sometimes they need a day at home, just sleeping in and resting. I didn't let mine do it too often, but I seemed to know when they needed it.

I think it’s really important to do this. If you can acknowledge that your child’s state of mind and well-being is important, they’ll come to you with stuff rather than just shutting up and cracking on. I think it’s worth it just to remind them of how important they are sometimes.

I have.

She's 5. They aren't 5 for very long........plenty of time to be an adult.

Being 5 is all about building yourself up and playing. We used to take blankets and a flask of hot chocolate into the cinema. Then go and look at the displays in our local park.

I think it's great that you have spotted this and I wouldn't hesitate to give her the day off. Keep her warm and rested. If you're worried about setting a precedent maybe dont make it sound like a huge treat, just be matter of fact about it?
A day off might really help her recharge. You sound lovely!

Vast number of people who don’t work full time on this thread.

I would.

I haven't had to do it when they have been that young.

I did however take dd1 out for a day in yr 6 Things had been crazy , the class had appeared to have gone ferel, she had no idea what was going on with every one Of had really just had enough of the nonsense. So we went to a bakery/ cafe had a drink shared a toastie and some cake nosed round some shops , had a walk by the water in the sun and fresh air and bought something nice for tea in m&s food hall.

Loved every second. She didn't ask to do it again (knew it was a one off)

Sometimes they just need it and I wouldn't think.twice tbh

2019

Or a vast number of people who work shifts ?

DS1 is pretty tough and resilient so it's not been an issue for him. He's had 100 or 99% attendence every year at school and tends to do illness in the holidays.

DS2 has asthma so his sleep is more prone to be disturbed by coughing. It's easy to tell if he's run down as it's not like him to go quiet and lethargic, and his complexion goes ashen. He's y1 and there's been 2 or 3 times I felt that it was better to have the duvet day to get back on form and feel better for the rest of the week. Sure enough the next morning he's been back to himself bouncing around like tigger. We've had it this week, walked sedately out of school on Friday, looking grey and baggy under the eyes. Sick in the night once, but tired and off all weekend. 48 hours expired for Monday morning, but just wasn't quite back on form. An easy day at home, and he's ready for the rest of the week.

As you get older, you get more stamina and more resistance to bugs. I missed most of this term of y1 with a string of ear infections and childhood illnesses such as mumps and German Measels (pre-MMR). By secondary, I rarely missed a day.