I hate working/my job!!!

[newyearnewwhat]

I've nc as I don't want to out myself as this is something I only really talk to dh about.
I'm due back at work on Wednesday and feel sick and anxious at the thought of it. I feel ill.
It's a poorly paid job in education. I'm good at it, I don't find it hard but feel stuck with no prospect of doing anything else until I retire.
Really I just like being at home (disclaimer, I'm very sociable, do lots with dc and friends etc) but during working hours I'd happily just potter around the house while dh and the dc are at work/school. I honestly wouldn't feel unfulfilled, I'd be blissfully happy. Is this because my job isn't fulfilling? I'm guessing it is but I literally have very few options and at 47, feel so so trapped

Possibly it's because of this job, but possibly it's just work in general.

Could you look at ways of allowing yourself more pottering time? Working part-time? (Maybe your husband could too, to be fair to both of you.) Taking a sabbatical? If that's not possible, then I think I'd be looking for a new job on the principle that a change is as good as a rest. (It's not, but at least you're so busy getting to grips with a new job that you have less time to ruminate.)

I know how you feel, I feel the same way. I'm planning on doing some serious saving over the next couple of years and then going part time. At least it gives me something to look forward to!

You need to look for something else.
Even a step down in salary would be better than being at home, wholly dependent on your DP, and would boost your self esteem.
This is not the job for you, and if a change of workplace but the same work is no better, then it is not the career for you either.
I'd advise you to change jobs, not opt out of work altogether as it will have massive implications on the family financially, your pension, and your mental health.
Are you depressed, OP? You sound like it. Can you seek help? I suspect a good GP would advise you to change jobs for starters.
Having lived through redundancy, you cannot underestimate the social isolation when your DCs are older than primary age and you do not get all the daily school gate and/or workplace interaction.
Wishing you well.

I feel exactly the same.

I’ve changed my job fairly recently with better hours and supposedly a better home/life balance, I really really don’t like the job, but now feel stuck as on paper it’s perfect.

No answers from me I’m afraid, but some solidarity, wish I had the solution.

I hate working too and I love housework, cooking, homecrafts etc. I'm dyslexic and the constant strain of reading all day exhausts me.

I dream of the day we have enough cash together that I can work part time I really do, don't know if it'll ever happen. Should have been born 100 years ago.

I don't think I'm depressed, I have a good life, I only feel down about my job. My happiness at the weekend and on days off is definitely blighted about the work dread.
I'm almost ashamed to admit I already work part time, dh loves his job and wholly supports me working less (although he wouldn't mind me working full time!) Our dc are teenagers, so I'm on my own during the week when it's my days off and I absolutely love it. I'd happily be at home all week!
I have a very niche qualification and feel so restricted because of it. I also don't drive, so this limits my options.

Thank you everyone and for those who feel the same way

I completely understand OP

I took voluntary redundancy last year and dread going back to work again. Is there any chance you can pack it in early? I hope to retire by 50 but I don't have DC.

my closest friend changes jobs often but it's not a great solution. She is a big spender though.

Pottering at home is just marvellous and of course becomes even more useful if you have DC.

You'd be bored if you were stuck at home. We always want what we haven't got. It's lucky DH is happy to work....

I bloody loath working. Other than the fact it earns me money it's a total waste of time.

You'd be bored if you were stuck at home

You don't know that single

It's part of this work ethic myth we're all fed from a young age that keeps capitalism chugging along: Hard Work = Good Character.

If someone told me there was a way of me not working ever again I'd bite their hand off.

I'm 47 too and could have written your post. I have teenage dc and work wed-Fri (Long days though - condensed hours). I start getting the 'dread' on Mondays. Friday evening is my happy time!

I also DEF would not be bored if I quit work. I love being at home.. Need my income so no chance of that!

I don't think I would be bored, I love being at home!
I know I'm lucky having a supportive dh, he's happy to work long hours as he loves his job but he also knows the pain of hating your job so he's sympathetic. I do all the household stuff, cooking etc so I do make it easy for him to cope with the very long hours he works.
I'm terrified of leaving my job, the last time a position like mine was vacant we had over 100 mostly over qualified applicants! I know if I left, that at my age there would be no turning back, I'd never get a foot in the door again!
Sadly retiring at 50 isn't an option!

@readyfreddie yep, that's my long days too! Tuesday evening is the worst, I feel so down but do try to hide it.

Oh I could be you op. I'm off work for 3 days and feel so happy and relaxed, come Wednesday night I'll be a grumpy monster. I have 4 year plan though. I'm a single parent and have decided once my dc have finished A-levels I will be moving 45 miles away to a much cheaper but much nicer area. I shall be in a position to buy a house with cash (current huge mortgage hence working full time but trying to view it as saving for my plan) and will be looking to work 3 days a week.

I'm taking my nhs pension at 60 (I'm 42 now) and will then cut my hours to the minimum I can. I have to have a plan otherwise I'm going to go crazy. I don't even hate my job just how much of my life it takes up 😭

I think a lot of people would be happy to potter around at home all day. Unfortunately, work is essential for most, not many people have the luxury of not having to work. I would suggest looking around for something more interesting to do for a living, re-training if necessary, studying for more qualifications. Unless my numbers come up on the lottery (and I've actually bought a ticket) I'll be working until retirement age.

I never understand it when people say "you will be bored"

how do they know how you will feel?!

also, we are hardly a minority or the whole FIRE movement wouldn't be happening.

My friend always says the same, she works very full time in a stressful but exciting job that she adores. She's wonderful but it literally defines her, I'm quite a simple being, totally unambitious and happy with slow paced life. I would never be bored at home but my friend will never believe me!

I spent about 8 years contracting doing what I do, got paid well, moved frequently so I had no time to get too bored, fed up or complacent. I had one period where I had a six week gap over Christmas where I hadn’t planned the contracts dates well enough but overall it was a great time.

Op I feel absolutely the same. I also work PT. I know I wouldn’t be bored. I love to potter about at home and would quite happily fill my days with a mixture of housework, hobbies and volunteering. It’s not going to happen though unless I win the lottery.

I'm exactly the same Op.
I work in special ed , (as a TA) and while still love the kids, I'm tired..nay exhausted by working. I get the sinking feeling on a Sunday night.
I could drop to 3 days but then I'd feel guilty as dh works really long hours. On the other hand I have a household of 7 currently (two of my kids partners are with us while they all save to move out) and I'm always chasing my tail house wise.

I don't want to work!!! But I've just turned 51 this week so have another 16 years to go....

I've never wanted a career.. loved having 4 kids, love keeping the home decent, I have hobbies. At the weekend I clean up so that dh has a chance to do his hobbies as otherwise he never gets a break.

You are not aone but I don't know what the solution is (plus we still have a mortgage!)

I feel so much less isolated hearing from you all but it's sad knowing there are many who feel like me.
I almost feel silly saying it aloud, I'd love to be at home full time but I'm surrounded by career oriented friends, who are wonderful but clearly very different to me!

I think I'm really feeling it at the moment as dh was head hunted for a job that would have meant a huge pay rise. He immediately said that it would mean I could give up work as it more than compensated my meagre salary. It didn't happen as it was too much of a commute etc and while obviously I would never put any pressure on him to earn more, just for a moment I felt all the anxiety and sadness lift and it felt wonderful

OP I can't help noticing you say it's poorly paid

would you be better doing something with more pay and fewer hours - you say education so I was wondering if there's any consultancy/advisory type stuff you can do...or tutoring.

are you expecting to work till 65? I'm just wondering what the other financial options might be. I'm debating renting my flat out and moving in with my elderly widowed mum, which would enable me to keep an eye on her - she is about 90 mins away - and also work part time.

I do feel a sense of "being judged" though - tbh I'm surprised how much I feel like that - and also my friends are mostly very ambitious so the idea that I'd work part time surprises them. I keep being told "are you sure you want to give up your career to look after your mum" - I don't see it as giving anything up!! I just think it's bloody lucky I'm of an age where I could buy a place, however small, and now maybe profit from renting it out.