I hate working/my job!!!

[newyearnewwhat]

I've nc as I don't want to out myself as this is something I only really talk to dh about.
I'm due back at work on Wednesday and feel sick and anxious at the thought of it. I feel ill.
It's a poorly paid job in education. I'm good at it, I don't find it hard but feel stuck with no prospect of doing anything else until I retire.
Really I just like being at home (disclaimer, I'm very sociable, do lots with dc and friends etc) but during working hours I'd happily just potter around the house while dh and the dc are at work/school. I honestly wouldn't feel unfulfilled, I'd be blissfully happy. Is this because my job isn't fulfilling? I'm guessing it is but I literally have very few options and at 47, feel so so trapped

I hate work.
My job is anywhere from 24 to 45 hours a week depending on the time of year (hospitality).
The people are lovely but I'm much happier on my days off when the house is clean, I'm not knackered and have the energy to cook proper meals.

Maybe I should start doing the lottery?! I don't need a big win, just enough to cover another 20 years of my measly salary!!

@mogloveseggs your job sounds tough! 45 hours is a long week in hospitality I imagine?

OP Premium bonds might be better

so you need another 20 years of a low salary...hmmm...I'm still thinking there must be a way you can do something with better pay - you don't enjoy what you do now, so taking a risk and doing something else doesn't matter so much?

Cautionary tale: I hated my job but I would give anything to have it back now. I hate the lack of money, the dependence, the lack of options that you have not having money, the lack of anyone ever praising or thanking you for a good job. The sense of utter worthlessness.

Not working full time is nothing like the days off you have when you are working btw.

@newyearnewwhat not really. It's going quiet now luckily so I'm back down to contracted hours but will up again come wedding season. My manager does a lot more than me (which is why i have no aspirations to go further up the ladder whatsoever).

Op, can you take a short sabbatical
I have a well paid job, but am taking three months off to rest
I want to actually enjoy life, go to the gym regularly, visit family , read books
I think that we are taught to value career , then one day we wake up and realise that we want to live life

@dullclothesbrightmind unfortunately I don't get an awful lot of praise or encouragement from management. I'm observed at least 3 times a year (where I'm almost grudgingly told I'm amazing) and have a yearly appraisal by our unsupportive deputy who is notorious for making you feel shit!
I get a lot of love from the children and parents and I'm massively aware how impactful the job I do is. I work dam hard and when I'm at work give it my all. I'm very loved by present and former parents/children and on darker days this helps.
The constant scrutiny and the appalling amount of hoops I'm expected to get very young children to jump through is what kills me. And the weather, my job can be grim in the winter.
I just want to be at home. I'm done

@areyoubeingserviced unfortunately that isn't an option for me but it's lovely to hear of your plans.
You're right, we are expected to feel fulfilled by work, almost defined by it but that isn't me, it never has been!

OP, do you teach, or support? Only that you've mentioned observations. If you teach, your salary should be fair after 10 years in the job?

If you don't teach, would you consider training for it? You sound like you'd be very good at it and it is rewarding, despite what people say.

I support, I don't want to teach, maybe when I was younger but not anymore. Sadly none of the lovely teachers I work with would recommend it, they either get out or retire as early as possible!
I am very good at what I do, I just wish I knew how else I could use my skills. I feel wasted doing what I do and can't help thinking that maybe I'd love my job if I did something else?!

And yes I am observed individually multiple times a year!
Very different to how things used to be, I've previously always been observed as my teacher is and received relevant feedback from that.
One of lasts years observations was a whole class teaching session, I had no support and was observed for 40 minutes. It was fine, I'm not fazed by it but it angers me. I'm barely on more than minimum wage!

I'm with you OP! I also work in a school and hate it so much, it is so tiring and stressfull. I have a long commute to work too which doesn't help matters and the pay isn't worth it. I'm looking for something more local at the minute (but not in a school! I need to get out before it gets any worse!) but like u I would love to just potter at home that's my happy place. Hate feeling so anxious about it all the time, life's too bloody short for work!

THat's depressing OP. I have been considering going into primary teaching. I don't really want to do it, I want to go into Early Years but that is not really an option where I live. I never hear anyone say anything positive about teaching. I would hate forcing kids to go through hoops too.

I'm depressed now.

@Karmagoat it's comforting to know I'm not alone but sad too!
What sort of jobs have you looked at? I'm totally lost, I've never done anything else (apart from a bit of nannying in my youth!) I don't know where else I can use my skills?!

@dullclothesbrightmind I'm sorry if I've depressed you but it sounds like you've heard others say the same? It's hard battling against it, at ground level we genuinely know what's best for the children but senior management and beyond make every single important decision. It's bonkers.

OP I was about to ask if you'd considered nannying - sounds like pay would be better and no standing around in the rain.

in the nicest possible way, are you scared of making a change rather than being worried about the money side?

I hear you OP. I am 50 this year. I work part time but 12.5 hour days. I loathe it and am very happy not being stuck in a germ factory! We need to boost income so will need to find full time job or part time that isnt related to what I do as I hate it.

@newyearnewwhat just part time retail jobs at the moment just to tide me over until I figure out what I want to do I just need to get out! I'm exactly the same as you, been a TA for nearly 17 years I used to love it and it was perfect for when my DCs were small but the job has changed so much over the years just so much added pressure for very little reward, and at 43 I just don't have the patience for it all anymore!.

I’m in a position of losing my (almost, and usually) full time job :( I’m actually really enjoying making plans to make it work. I have 2 small kids and would love to be at home with them more.

My plan is to work 2 days a week locally and study, so I get a break and hopefully and not completely fucked career wise. I’ve already got no hope of owning a home so have stopped worrying about it. The thought of being at home with my little ones is so welcome. It’s just about finding the balance between fucking over your future and actually enjoying life.

If I were you I would do what I could to got part time or take an extended holiday - part time is a good compromise. Work isn’t fulfilling to everyone; I enjoy it but would a million times over prefer to be at home. That was the case before I had kids too, so it’s not just because I want to be with them.

Silver, OP is already part time and term time only.

I do find threads like this comforting in a strange way - don't seem to find anyone who feels like this IRL.

Totally scared of change! Or scared of making an irreversible mistake! As I mentioned previously, we had over 100 applicants last time a job like mine was advertised, I'd never get back what I've got if I left and I'm terrified of regretting my decision to go.
I'm not in an area that has many nanny jobs but maybe I could have a look. I'm possibly a bit old too?!

Germ factory I've found my people!

I love my job but I hate the hours and the way we are treated by management, I drive to work fantasizing about crashing the car so I don't have to go in. I am actively looking for a new role and it is my vow that I will not be in this post by Christmas 2019.