I hate working/my job!!!

[newyearnewwhat]

I've nc as I don't want to out myself as this is something I only really talk to dh about.
I'm due back at work on Wednesday and feel sick and anxious at the thought of it. I feel ill.
It's a poorly paid job in education. I'm good at it, I don't find it hard but feel stuck with no prospect of doing anything else until I retire.
Really I just like being at home (disclaimer, I'm very sociable, do lots with dc and friends etc) but during working hours I'd happily just potter around the house while dh and the dc are at work/school. I honestly wouldn't feel unfulfilled, I'd be blissfully happy. Is this because my job isn't fulfilling? I'm guessing it is but I literally have very few options and at 47, feel so so trapped

@elliesm98 ah yes the smell ds is asthmatic so probably not ideal. Bugger!

@Sarcelle that doesn't sound good Does your dh work full time? Any hope of a big change?
It's tough, work is such a big part of life, it's soul destroying when you don't enjoy it!

We both work compressed hours and have a day off a week. So 4 very long days but the bonus of a day off. So, we are a lot better off than a lot of people.

He caught the same train this morning. He looked so down going in. Travelling in the pitch black doesn't help. He bottles things up. I let it out.

I am not sure what we can do. I think we are both going through the cliche, a mid life crisis. We haven't turned to drink, or bought a Harley Davidson, but we are definitely at a crossroads.

Being middle aged is a strange time. Options narrow, hormones are raging. A bit like reverse puberty. A time of confusion. A lot of stuff just feels so pointless. When I am not at work I just do not feel like this. Outside work I am full colour. I go in the office and I become monotone. If I could get a new job (it would be a struggle I think) I don't think I would make a good employee anymore. A bit stuck.

@Sarcelle a lot of what you say makes so much sense to me. I'm menopausal, so definitely battling with hormonal crap, just like puberty!
I also feel grey on my working days, I'm like a little old lady, I limp through the day dreaming of bedtime and literally race to get to bed as early as possible! I probably do way more on my days off (I'm a fidget so hardly ever still!) and get up very early to shoo the teenagers out of the house, yet I'm full of beans in the evening!

I also don't drink much, only socially, I've noticed many of my friends/colleagues seem to hit the bottle hard these days!

I think it would be very easy to fall into bad habits. But I think that would make things worse.

I bought my DH a keyboard for Christmas. He is a total novice and is teaching himself to play from an app. He is enjoying it, it's so hard it leaves no room for any other thoughts. I think it is called flow in self help books. I need to find a hobby like that too.

There must be a way of putting the bad times (work) in a box and leaving it there until you next have to go in. Otherwise we may as well be at work all the time.

Goes off to google how to compartmentalise.....

Can I join? I am my 14th year of a job only intended to be a stop gap.

I didn't feel I could work in a ft because of the demands of my personal life - a lot of drama and tragedy, too.

I am overqualified and resent the lack of stimulation but , at the same time, am too lazy to study for a career and want a work life balance. I work to live. I want something that's interesting but doesn't require me to be married to the job

Of course you can join! So you're part time?

Sort of but I do 5 days of short shifts

14 years is a long time for a job that wasn't meant to last!
I now feel unwell, I'm fairly sure it's purely psychological, I need to pull myself together!!!!

Sorry to hear that you're personal life is tough, that doesn't sound easy

*your

Thanks I suppose I am a bit anxious about change, too. I don't know where to start. Then something will go wrong and I am glad I just have a job with no real commitment .

My kids are 10 and 14 and keep saying when they're older but my mum's health is in decline now. I am 48 with a few niggles, too, though nothing that will kill me .

The people I work with are mostly nice. Some of the managers are awful and mostly younger than I am. I am fed up with cocky 20 somethings with zits and bumfluff and the public who occasionally can treat you like shite

Oh this thread is salvation. I am mid thirties and just hate it. As soon as anyone at work says after returning from leave ‘I was just glad to get back to the office really. I was bored at home’ I am horrified. I instantly think, we will never get on. (grin)

Sarcelle your last post about outside of work I am full colour and in the office I am monotone. It’s so strange because I have actually said these words to my partner! I am happy and friendly in work but I spend such a lot of time thinking, none of you know me, the real happy, contented, enthusiastic, creative, laughing and usually cry laughing me, at home. It’s so sad considering how much time in our lives are spent at work, not being yourself.

I have asked colleagues, what extent do you think you can be yourself at work or are yourself at work and most said 80% or thereabouts. I myself feel more like 30%...at best haha!

I also sadly work in an office environment with what I can only describe as a steady flow of strange, irrational and unreasonable women. All creating dramas and bitching about each other and making things up that aren’t even happening. I find it amusing at times because you couldn’t make it up and it’s like being in the twilight zone, but at the same time I hate the kind of women they are and I want to scream.

I live for taking leave and weekends, gardening, pottering, doing crafts, being alone, I never ever get bored. Partner is the same, we love to co-potter, both going about our hobbies, poking our heads in on each other or in same room doing them or chatting.

Most mornings I tell the cat how bloody lucky she is she gets to stay at home!

Op I wouldn't just resign from your job if I were you. You never know what is around the corner and with 15 years of working age life ahead it really is too risky to rely on your DH income. Write down your salary and aim to match it with a small business idea.

You say you are amazing at your job and the children and parents love you. Utilise these skills.

'Boutique childminding'. Small groups of children for a half day small group quality early learning.

Early years tutoring

Depending on your skills - party host/entertainer. Cooking, science workshops

@officeslave Earphones are your friend in that situation. I spend a lot of time listening to the radio, podcasts, music. It provides a barrier. Or sometimes I listen to a noise cancelling app.

I'm the same I work 3 days a week but would love to not have to work, bullying colleague who rules roost with her mood swings and boss who won't say anything to her, as he dosent want to lose her, it drains me! love it when I'm home, my home stays tidy and i can spend time with my mum and friends, while kids are at school, 4 kids age from 6 to 15, am home for them when they come home love it ! as opposed to when I'm at work come home stressed and tired 😣

I wfh doing what I did before. I visit clients and draft in school day. And am here after school. And I have no colleagues and am at home. Some friends sad face me and ask if I’m “lonely” and whether I miss being in an office.. ARE YOU MAD!,

I can relate to a lot if Sarcelles posts. I had a bullshit office job for years. In a way, being a lone parent helped me get through, as I had to work to survive (and it was just survival). The older I have got, the less I could stomach the meetings, the bullying by petty jobsworth middle managers, the twatty jargon, the endless committees, the pointless training courses, the total lack of reward for good work and the total absence of consequences for appalling behaviour. I HATED going to the same place everyday as I previously did jobs where I moved around, but couldn't make that work as a mum.
I think some environments are just toxic for some people-it's not the fact of working I mind it's all the attendant bullshit that goes with it.

Anyway I was made redundant and now have a small business. I still need to find a regular job as I'm not making enough money, but at least it will be a side job, not my whole life.
I don't miss office life AT ALL and would happily never do it again.
OP maybe you do need to find something just totally different. Maybe it's not work but the job you do.

@russelsprout thank you for sharing your experience. I am also in the "dream job" of being well paid, largely working from home - but not having enough to do. (Or anything meaningful.) I work for statutory services in a role where there are a tiny number of people in the country doing this work, so it's not transferable. I cry a lot as I feel trapped as I've got another 25 years of it ahead! But your story gives me some perspective - mainly not to do anything rash.

@Grace212 yes I looked at work emails and it was silly of me. I have a work phone which we are permitted to use for personal stuff and while I was browsing online a bunch of calendar invites automatically popped up (work emails are linked to the phone). I stupidly clicked on them and my heart sank when I saw the meetings and events I have waiting for me when I go back.

Sarcelle I desperately need to learn how to compartmentalise and leave work at the office door.

I never take work home with me but I allow the spectre of the dreaded office to hang over me when I should be enjoying myself. I'm off to the theatre now to see a long awaited play and then meeting a friend to see an art show. Basically two of the things I love doing most in life. Instead of enjoying it I am just thinking how all this lovely time off will end tomorrow and on Monday I'll be back dealing with work shit.

I have a horrible meeting first thing Monday with a manager to discuss my personal development. As explained on another thread I'm being 'encouraged' to apply for promotion as I've been doing the same thing for several years now. I explained that due to personal commitments, DC etc I'm unable to take on a more demanding position right now. My manager looked at me blankly and then more or less told me he wants to promote someone into my position but can't due to headcount restrictions so he needs me to move on and make room. It seems I'm blocking someone else's career.
I continue to pray for redundancy.

My colleague broke her hand just before Christmas and has been off sick since. She is desperate to get back, she sent us and email saying she would walk to see her patients if she could (community nurse). I cannot fathom ever feeling like this. I would be lapping up every single second of time off!!

@IfnotnowBernard

Your description really resonates!

OP I hope you are having a better day today.

People with wfh jobs where you don't have a lot to do, that sounds fab! How do I find something like that?

Your mental health is really really fundamental and important. It's time to change things up OP.
Why not work backwards from how much money you need?
Or a life coach may be helpful.

I had to leave my job due to ill health and although I was convinced that I couldn't afford to earn any less I now make a small amount working from home and we manage ok. I hated my job and thought it would be great to work for myself and in some ways it is, but I also miss the companionship of working and even the structure. I realise now that I would ideally work with other people but in a low stress job and part time. Sometimes what you think you want isn't exactly what would make you happiest.