I hate working/my job!!!

[newyearnewwhat]

I've nc as I don't want to out myself as this is something I only really talk to dh about.
I'm due back at work on Wednesday and feel sick and anxious at the thought of it. I feel ill.
It's a poorly paid job in education. I'm good at it, I don't find it hard but feel stuck with no prospect of doing anything else until I retire.
Really I just like being at home (disclaimer, I'm very sociable, do lots with dc and friends etc) but during working hours I'd happily just potter around the house while dh and the dc are at work/school. I honestly wouldn't feel unfulfilled, I'd be blissfully happy. Is this because my job isn't fulfilling? I'm guessing it is but I literally have very few options and at 47, feel so so trapped

Age also makes you see the world differently not just having kids, which I don't. You realise what is important and what is not. Which is why it gets harder to feign interest when you are older in the workplace. You realise the pointlessness of what you do. When you are younger you just think of promotions and progressions but by the time you get to a certain age your options diminish, or you don't want that progression anyway. The only point, and quite a crucial one, is to pay the bills. That's why we become zombies and resentful at work. And then spend money on crap to feel better momentarily. I do not want to be younger than I am. I do however wish I could go back and save up all the money I spent on crap so that I could retire early so I could fully live rather than praying for Friday to get here each week.

My problem is I've never been ambitious, so even when I was younger I think I felt like this. There are so many that feel like me, I had no idea, it's strangely but sadly comforting!

Wish me luck, today is the dreaded return. A restless nights sleep hasn't exactly helped!

I'm 47 too, DC are teens, already work pt and feel exactly the same. I inherited last year and have invested the vast majority of it so I can take my NHS pension at 55 and go.

I feel the same way-decades (in my case) in education has made me jaded and cynical I think. I feel like I’m on a treadmill and just want to turn around and walk away.

I don’t think wanting to stop work is unusual though-that’s usually what people who win the lottery do, isn’t it?

Good much today .

Sarcelle yes I age age does make you feel differently about things too
What sort of things do you you had not wasted money on ? Are you talking about clothes or other stuff ?

Op what about a nanny for school age children? Our nanny does before & after school 3 days a week and about 6 weeks in the holidays ( 3.5 days per week

That’s not ideal when you have your own school age child though.

Good luck today newyearnewwhat
Report back later
I hope it’s not as bad as you dread

amp.theguardian.com/money/2018/may/04/i-had-to-guard-an-empty-room-the-rise-of-the-pointless-job

Hopefully the link above works. The problem is I have a bullshit job as explained by the theory. The majority of people do. A lot of these people on here have non-bullshit jobs (education etc) but feel stressed or don't have any ambition/like pottering around (nothing wrong with that).

I used to have ambitions but because I have (and realistically always will have) a bullshit job, I now hate working. So now I want to potter because that has more fulfilment than my paid role.

I am in the train going to work. A 7am train. There is a woman manically typing on a laptop. I want to scream at her - what are you doing??!! Read a book fgs.

Last day in the office this week, a thought to hold onto.

This is a very sharp contrast to the thread where someone’s husband earns less and people are advising leaving him for not pulling his weight!

Even people who love their jobs don’t like work every single day. But I really do t think it’s far to expect your DH to have sole responsibility for bringing in the money, especially if your kids are teens. Who do all these people who aspire to not work think should support them?

I saw a friend last night
She's a big career person with a bunch of voluntary activities, never stops
She was asking me about job hunting and how I feel about it etc
So I told her that my main thing at the moment is to move in with mum, rent my flat out, get any old part time job hopefully within walking distance of mum's rather than commute again for a career type job

Immediately she said "won't you be bored?" Actually I dread going back to work even part time!!

I wish there was something i could do from home.

I feel the same. I work in local government 4 days a week. Hate my job ( very boring) and it's not great pay. To top it all the office junior has just been made my line Manager! He was given little hit bits to do like banking and helping with finance, the finance woman got fired and bingo he gets given the internal vacancy. No one else even bothered applying as we all knew he had been set up for it. So Id love not to ever have to go in again.

I’m on maternity leave and absolutely dreading going back to work. I get so upset just thinking about it. I work in retail and the days can be so long especially when there’s barely any customers as I’ll just be standing there for 9 hours bored out of my head. Being at home makes me feel safe and happy and relaxed. I could never get bored

Have you thought about becoming self employed e.g. learning a skill such as hairdressing and having people come out to your home once or twice a day for their hair done

@Sarcelle

I got on to the idea of retiring early quite young but even then, sadly I had bought some consumer tat so sold as much as possible

You might be surprised how much you can get for things

I don't agree that it's always about becoming a mother giving you this perspective. Depressingly I've felt like this since I was very young! However it's much easier to be honest about it once you have kids as having less ambition is socially acceptable once you're a mum.

25 hr a week working at Aldi would get you more than a TA or school NN take home. A lot less stress, no observations and probably fewer germs. Life is too short to hate your job and to have it make you think of car crashes and enjoying post operation absences!

Curly I've never been a massive fan of (office) work tbh and this was the case before having kids. I guess my DC have thrown the pointlessness of what I do into sharper focus but agree with PP's that it's more to do with getting older. I work with a lot of twenty somethings who are so enthusiastic and excited about the work we do and I just shake my head and feel sorry for them. They are exploited and work ridiculous hours (common in media/advertising) and are content with free pizzas and drinks on a Friday to compensate for that. Most of them have around £25k and upwards of student debt, appear to have no concept of how their generation has been completely shafted and the fact that they will have to work well into their 70s and beyond.

I should add that I always encourage the team I manage to leave the office on time and tell them I am not impressed by anyone working late or on the weekend. However they see it as part of the company culture and think it will help them progress so I leave them to it.

Sorry, I've gone off on a tangent now. I've just been derailed and upset this morning to receive a series of calendar invites to work events over the next few weeks as I stupidly checked my email and it has deeply depressed me.

Eastie, you mean you checked your email when you weren't meant to be working?

I agree about the younger ones. I recently had a 20 something guy try to tell me how good his workplace is and listed "casual Fridays" as a big plus.

I had a few people, including my late father, question my decision to take the redundancy package I took, but for me, paid redundancy was the best thing that's ever happened in my career!! And I was able to put some strategy in it to buy the right amount of quiet time before I finished.

@snoutandab0ut did you not read the part where I mentioned I was become increasingly anxious about work and how much I struggle?
More importantly, I also explained that dh absolutely loves his job, it's financially rewarding and he enjoys his working day. If our roles were reversed, I, like him would just want him to be happy and would happily support him to be at home. We're a team.

@LardLizard thank you, so sweet of you to wish me well! It was ok, the fear is always the worse bit. The children are all still wonderful but I still would like to never return again!

Thanks everyone, lots to read and consider and still feel strangely comforting that I'm not alone.

@elliesm98 Funnily enough I've looked into nail tech courses recently, I love having my own nails done and have always struggled to find a mobile one who is fully booked for months! I don't drive though but presumably I could work from home?
Lots to think about!

Yes, good to know we're not alone. I always felt like a freak hating it at work thinking I was the only one... we're conditioned to beg and plead and jump through hoops for demoralising badly paid jobs where often staff are treated like shit and taken advantage of at every turn... I'm so demoralised with the world of work, feel like I've been sold a pack of lies.

@newyearnewwhat

Yes I’ve had my nails and eyelashes done at someone’s house before. They had a separate beauty room right by the front door. I can imagine the only issue with nails would be the strong fumes

I enjoy my job but would still be perfectly happy not working. I’d start writing novels again and most definitely wouldn’t be bored!

Unfortunately I’m a single parent so have very limited options until the children grow up.

My DH feels the same about his job too. We are a right pair at the moment.