I hate working/my job!!!

[newyearnewwhat]

I've nc as I don't want to out myself as this is something I only really talk to dh about.
I'm due back at work on Wednesday and feel sick and anxious at the thought of it. I feel ill.
It's a poorly paid job in education. I'm good at it, I don't find it hard but feel stuck with no prospect of doing anything else until I retire.
Really I just like being at home (disclaimer, I'm very sociable, do lots with dc and friends etc) but during working hours I'd happily just potter around the house while dh and the dc are at work/school. I honestly wouldn't feel unfulfilled, I'd be blissfully happy. Is this because my job isn't fulfilling? I'm guessing it is but I literally have very few options and at 47, feel so so trapped

Me too. I hate work too. It just seems pointless other than earning £ to live (quite an important reason). Most workers, me included, are in bullshit jobs (there's a book on this, haven't read it) and our jobs would not be missed if they were not there. So it seems pointless, a big game. The older you get the more pointless it is. When you are young you have a mirage - you will strive to get promoted or progress, a goal, its new.... But when you hit middle age you realise you are never going to be a high flyer, or you don't want promotion because you realise its just stress and not worth it. And then resentment kicks in.

@Grace212 yep, definitely relate to the judgement thing. Dc are now 14 & 18 so have had a fair few years of people asking when I'm returning to full time or moving on in my career!
I think dh hates the presumption that he likes me at home, he just likes me happy!

@Sarcelle I think I'm lucky in that my job is very meaningful but it doesn't always help me keep my spirits up!
I get what you mean about 'pointless' jobs, must be really hard to keep going in that situation!

I quite like what I do, but I hate the crazy targets, constant computer problems, bullying workmates, no time in the day for a toilet break, low pay and stress. I don't want to get up tomorrow at 6am and leave the house in the cold and dark, I need another lie in. It is going to be horrendous getting up that early again. It better not be raining.

@NameChanger22 I hear what you're saying about rain, my job involves being outside so this time of year is particularly grim!

I totally get this. I love my job and worked hard to get where I am. However, I love pottering, doing hobbies, travelling etc.even more and work gets in the way!

I'm saving what I can and overpaying the mortgage so I can be financially independent and retire by 50.

OP, do you work in a school?

I do!

I have found my people......

I don't want to climb the greasy pole, I sit in meetings trying to look interested, nodding at the right moment........ when really in my head I am a million miles away. I do pelvic floor exercises to keep myself focused.....

I am planning my exit strategy.....

I feel exactly the same, working makes me anxious, feel sick and have migraines. I would be so happy not working and I only work 2 days a week. I know it sounds ridiculous but the dread of work ruins the days off as I find it so stressful.
My dh works full time and is happy for me not to work but it would be too tight financially. It's nice to know that others feel the same.

@Chottie welcome! I must say there is some comfort knowing I'm not alone!

@Nurse12345 I hear you, I too often ruin my days off once the dread of my work days looms large

I do want to work really, but I've been at it for over 25 years and I would love a break. Maybe 6 months or something. To rest and reset I suppose.

OP you need to try and look at the positives! You don't work every day and you don't work school holidays, that's a fantastic balance that most people don't have the benefit of. I also work in a school so have the holidays off and would love to go part time, I envy you. Maybe you're focussing too much on the time you are at work rather than the time you have at home? Think how fab it is to have so much time at home rather than how awful it is to be at work?

I would love to be at home looking after a bunch of animals and pottering. I can but dream! 😊

I have found my people! I hate work and have given up finding the right job for me, I don't think it exists.

I honestly find it so bizarre when people tell me I'd get bored if I didn't work. I am 100% certain I would love it.

I think there are two options, either work part time and get really good at switching off on your days off (not easy) or work full time, save as much as you can and aim to retire early (also not easy).

@HarrySnotter I know I should be positive, I also know I'm incredibly lucky. I work part time, term time only and appreciate many would love to be in my shoes.
Yet still I'm anxious and full of dread and sadness as my working days approach. I can't ignore that and it often blights my life.
I feel I should add that I'm far far from a miserable, negative bugger at work, I'm confident and good fun and I adore the kids. Unfortunately there are many many things that are tough and shit about my working day too!

OP, I hope I didn't sound critical, I really didn't mean to. I just meant that if you focus more on the positives rather than the negatives it might help? How long have you been in your job for?

You didn't sound critical at all but thank you!
I've been at my current school for almost 10 years, I had a huge amount of time off when the dc were young but prior to having them I did the same job, just elsewhere.

I don’t think works for everyone
Some people are happier not working

I think work doesn't work for a lot of people but it's too hard for us to consider that much till we retire.

I've spent sometime looking at other jobs I could do but feel scared of making a potentially irreversible change. None of them are particularly appealing and all poorly paid too.
Retirement seems a long way off!

The sad thing is, what I'd like to do is volunteer for home start or gingerbread, I don't want to give up work to be a lady who lunches!!
I'd be blissfully happy volunteering for a few hrs a day and then pottering at home. I imagine I'm not the only one!

oh I would be a lady who lunches...

well except I wouldn't because I'm too lazy for that, even if I had the money to go for posh lunches etc the dressing up would annoy me and I'm not good at posh.

More time for running, workouts generally, pottering, reading...ah, that would be fab. I do volunteer at the moment but I imagine it would get a bit much if I did it more often - it would feel like another commitment.

what was great about the early days of redundancy (later days used by father illness/death) - was waking up in the morning and then deciding to organise the day pretty much as I pleased. Awesome. So I wouldn't want to pop volunteering in 3 days a week or whatever.

also organising runs or outings according to the weather - amazing!

I can relate, I always look pretty polished from the neck up, even at home but I'd love to spend my days in tatty leggings and massive scruffy sweatshirts!
I could happily be a lady who lunches at home, my friends are used to my slovenly ways

I'm blissfully happy at the moment, I'm home alone with the sun shining on my face, having a 5 minute break from a long list of chores.
The anxiety starts to rise when I think about work but for now I'm ignoring it

yes OP, I'm home, sun coming in through windows, going for a run later, nice long shower, then some errands, then see a friend.

so nice. makes me wonder if I ought to buy a lottery ticket...!