I hate working/my job!!!

[newyearnewwhat]

I've nc as I don't want to out myself as this is something I only really talk to dh about.
I'm due back at work on Wednesday and feel sick and anxious at the thought of it. I feel ill.
It's a poorly paid job in education. I'm good at it, I don't find it hard but feel stuck with no prospect of doing anything else until I retire.
Really I just like being at home (disclaimer, I'm very sociable, do lots with dc and friends etc) but during working hours I'd happily just potter around the house while dh and the dc are at work/school. I honestly wouldn't feel unfulfilled, I'd be blissfully happy. Is this because my job isn't fulfilling? I'm guessing it is but I literally have very few options and at 47, feel so so trapped

@Karmagoat so much pressure! Dh earns 5 times what I do and has half the stress. Good luck with the job search!

Im.not depressed and i feel the same OP
You don't sound depressed either

I'd love to just be at home sorting the kids and pets!
Only the pay and the fact it enables me
To do stuff keeps me going

@Oddsocksandmeatballs I am so glad I've opened up on here. The one thing I've been to ashamed to admit to dh, is that I often wish for a small accident (nothing serious but enough to be off!) to occur. Your car crash scenario has struck a chord, I'm just like you

I'm not depressed at all! Just totally depressed and upset about going to work!
I hear you @Iusedtobecarmen I love being at home with my big dc and little dog!

I've hoped for minor illnesses.or injuries to keep me off work for a Couple of months.

It sounds like you don't hate the job itself, you hate the management? I don't get an awful lot of praise or encouragement from management. .... unsupportive deputy who is notorious for making you feel shit!

And I totally get it, I had a great job but a horrible boss who made my life a misery. If there are no opportunities to move to a different school, there must be other things you can do. Children and activities - assisting in some kind of clubs, party organizing, childcare, consulting or private lessons? If you're good at it and even the management tells you you're amazing, sounds like a waste of talent to simply quit.

I had a fairly major op a few years ago, my little heart sang when I heard how long I had to have off

Could you use your professional skills to wfh? Tutoring ?

why would you be too old for nannying?

I def get a sense of you being scared of the change but I also think you have a bunch of skills that could get you a better rate of pay and a better situation.

is there an immediate financial crisis if you give a term's notice (is that required?)

I always thought nannying was a young persons job, no other reason!

We wouldn't be destitute if I gave up work but my salary pays for all the little extras like holidays, kids extra curricular stuff, treats at the weekend etc Seems pretty mean for me to sacrifice that, especially as dh works very full time. Tempting though!

Au Pairing is for youngsters. Many people prefer more mature and experienced nannies.

I look different when I am at work. I was off over Christmas, I looked well. Eyes shining, dark shadows not so dark. Now a few days back at the office, dark shadowed red rimmed eyes, thickly cough, despondent mouth!

I had a planned year off one (spent all my redundancy...that's another story!) and I looked so well. I pottered for a year (no kids and was living in central London at the time). I was fit, engaged, rested, bloody happy. I felt properly alive.

Not setting an alarm clock is a joy. Planning your own time, priceless. People used to say, aren't you bored? Not once, really don't understand that mentality at all. Work bores me, the sheer repetitiveness of it all. I used to take myself for long walks, went to exhibitions and museums. I liked going on boats up the Thames, particularly on a sunny day, when I used to see all the worker bees grabbing 30 minutes sun on the Embankment.

Now I am a worker drone, a zombie, wishing for retirement, a lottery win or a millionaire.

I've just given notice on my part time job as I hate it!
I'm 35 and love being at home and don't mind admitting that I'm not at all ambitious.
I will be earning as I've built up a little from home business that brings in 1.5k roughly a month but it's a job I can do while watching tv so I'm very lucky.
I'll be losing £700 a month which I'll miss but I'm hoping to make up the difference with the at home work eventually.
Is there anything you could do from home to make some extra cash?

@pollysproggle I'd love to do something like you but what?! I actually only earn £800 per month, so not a lot to make up really!

@Sarcelle yep, can relate to that, I feel (and look!) sparkly when I'm off work! I can never understand friends when they suggest I'd be bored at home, it baffles me!

We're all fed the same line...be a good little worker and a good little consumer. Doesn't matter a jot if you're happy, so long as you're productive. Like a drone.
I couldn't give one and struggle to look as if I do in meetings/appraisals/"process mapping" or whatever the latest bollocks buzzword is.
I'm 45 and work 4 mornings a week in a stressful job that I have not been trained to do.
My Manager does not know how to do my job.
I'm applying for other jobs, but when I told partner, he said I shouldn't wait until dd has left high school before looking for f.t.
In all honesty, I'm not looking to ever return to f.t work.
Even if that means I work pt till I die or we split and i relocate somewhere away from SE where I could afford a shack on my own...he'd have to house dd when she's grown as i couldn't afford to.

We are fed the lie. I am married, no kids. I struggle, god almighty how working parents manage.

Haha yes never bored at home it's great for me.
I sell cakes to cafes and have some good regulars. When I started I wasn't even that good a baker but knew I wanted to be home with the children as much as possible. It started as a sideline when I had a full time job then slowly grew.
I'll miss the money as we're a family of 4 in London and everything seems to cost a fortune plus we're trying to save but with the part time job I don't feel happy at all so I'm taking the plunge and making some cut backs.
I read recently about a woman who bought everything second hand for a year and I'm planning on incorporating a bit of that too to save money as I'm well known for spending money on impulse when I really don't need it. For example, £300 on a robot hoover that was meant to change my life...it didn't, turns out it only hoovers and doesn't tidy up the toys before hand only eats them.

I'm going to (actually get round to) selling things on EBay too rather than stashing things in the loft.

sarcelle thank you for you post. I've work consistently since school and never had more than 8 days holiday at a time (and only went abroad for the first time two years ago. At the end of this year I'm quitting my job me a DP are going to Aus for a bit. I keep getting terrified wobbles that I'll go mad and get bored. Reading your post is more reassurance I'm doing the right thing!!!

So envious. Stepping off the hamster wheel can only be a positive thing. Lots of new experiences and sights await you.

I had an injury which meant I was off work for a fortnight. I was in pain and it was difficult to manage, but I was just so happy to be off work.....

Sarcelle, I look different when I'm at work too, a couple of mums at the school pick up always can tell when I've just finished a shift. I look dark under my eyes and lifeless.
Work really doesn't suit me, I agree with you OP and if I didn't have to work then I would want to volunteer a couple of days a week, I really want to give something to society and help people but the stress and expectations of the work place make me ill. I wish it didn't.
I only earn £845 per month too, at times it really doesn't seem worth it but on the other hand seems too much to give up.

Is there a market for a Mothers Help I'm your area? Part time work helping other parents in and around the home with chores/nannying etc.

@Chottie I can totally relate! After my op I was in so much pain but my overwhelming feeling was absolute joy at being off work

@Nurse12345 your username gives away your occupation, so clearly someone else doing a crucial job for a pittance! I earn exactly £819 per month and like you just feel as though it's too much money to walk away from.