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Original poster

Flowers for Christmas from new boyfriend.

214 replies

seriouslypanicking · 20/12/2018 14:47

What would you think if you got a bunch of flowers from someone you’ve been dating for a year.

My oh just gave me flowers from the internetthey arrived today but the way he’s been messaging me the past week leaving me clues and made it appear I was getting Crown Jewels or something a bit more than flowers.

I’m well aware I appear like a spoilt brat but he’s going away to his family today so I know that’s all he’s bothered to get me. Whereas I spent quite a bit of time and thought on his present. Feeling a bit deflated to be honest.

I can almost feel the grow up comments coming in already as I type this and I’d say the same, but this guy is now sulking because I apparently didn’t congratulate him on his really thoughtful gift enough so now I’m somehow in the doghouse.

For further info I received them alone and opened them up straight away put them in a vase and sent a photo thanking him to say there were lovely.

OP posts:
PrincessDando · 20/12/2018 15:43

What were you expecting to get? Sometimes men can be a bit shit at buying presents. I once got (not the only gift mind) a plain, unscented green candle from Ikea from my husband (the kind to keep at hand in case of a power cut).

If you've bought him loads of things, I wouldn't be happy with just a bunch of flowers, but did you not have a convo to discuss how much you were spending on each other, I would have done (and still do with DH).

Spelledwrong · 20/12/2018 15:51

I feel like guys think that flowers are the ultimate gift for women to be fair. Because what they’ve seen in movies and tv shows suggests that flowers are completely romantic and thoughtful, it’s possible that he thought it was something you’d be really excited about? I doubt he would have bigged it up so much if he didn't genuinely think it was a great gift. It’s also possible that he spent quite a while looking at various bouquets and choosing what he thought would be the nicest for you and so to see you disappointed with them probably made him feel a bit crap. I don’t think it’s a rubbish enough gift that you need to have a fall out about it. I’d just make up with him

MargoLovebutter · 20/12/2018 15:55

Was it a massive, super-special, fucktastic bouquet or was it a standard kind of bouquet?

If I got the first type I would be less disappointed than if I got the second type.

Had you hinted at things that you might really like? Had you discussed it at all? What did you get him?

Blackladybug · 20/12/2018 15:57

Yes id be quite dissappointed with flowers after a year! Afterall, they'll die in a week or 2.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 20/12/2018 15:57

I can see why you are disappointed but at least he tried. My husband occasionally buys me flowers because it's romantic. Which it might be, if I wasn't so severely allergic to them!

BlackCatSleeping · 20/12/2018 15:59

It’s a crap gift for a Christmas present from your partner. I’d be disappointed too.

Sirzy · 20/12/2018 16:03

Wouldn’t bother me. But I am the kind who buys because I like to buy not for what comes back.

He obviously things he has got something nice and as pp said men often thing women want flowers and see them as a romantic thing

TheFaerieQueene · 20/12/2018 16:03

In the immortal words of Kim, from Kath and Kim.
‘Flowers aren’t a present, they are a garnish.’

I’m not saying that is true, but it might make you smile.

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 20/12/2018 16:03

Hang on, so they arrived when you were alone but you took a photo and sent it to him via text and thanked him for them? And he's sulking because you weren't sufficiently grateful?! That's a big red flag right there!

Springmachine · 20/12/2018 16:04

I would be disappointed to, but it's not over yet. There could be something else he's waiting to give you in person maybe? hoping

chocolatebox1 · 20/12/2018 16:08

I would be disappointed and I think if he built up to it like there was a grande finale, it's an epically bad gift. I appreciate people have different budgets but it seems like a half arsed choice to me. My Stbxh used to think token flowers were an adequate gift in situations where he knew I was spending £100 on him. It was completely different if it was a homer bowling ball sort of gift though

Heuschrecke · 20/12/2018 16:10

" ... but did you not have a convo to discuss how much you were spending on each other ... "

What? After (presumably slightly less than) a year? The OP hasn't mentioned last year's Christmas present, so I'm guessing this is their first Christmas together?

Who actually says to a newish partner "I'm going to spend £50/£100/£150/etc on your present, so I expect the same value present in return"?

The flowers sound lovely, but disappointing given your expectations, OP. Do you think there's something else to come? Or have you missed a 'hidden' present in the bouquet?

egginacup · 20/12/2018 16:12

Not defending him, but buying flowers from Interflora etc is surprisingly expensive I discovered recently! So, depending on what they are, I imagine he may have spent a fair bit.
Some men are also just crap at thinking of presents and just get a generic ‘woman’ present like perfume or flowers so I wouldn’t be too hard on him for that.

Doesn’t excuse the sulking though!

Doyouavocado · 20/12/2018 16:15

Flowers for Christmas? Borrrringgg. Yes I would be dissapointed and tempted to return his present and get him something equally shit. Xmas Grin

MiddlingMum · 20/12/2018 16:17

I would love flowers for Christmas.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 20/12/2018 16:25

I would be disappointed with that. I think you should tell him. Most men are renowned for buying shit presents and if you don't want a repeat for birthdays and future Christmases, you need to let him know.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 20/12/2018 16:29

The bit that stuck out for me was that he was sulking because you weren't sufficiently grateful.
That rings massive alarm bells for me.
I'd be disappointed too, have you checked there isn't a bracelet amongst the foliage?

PrincessDando · 20/12/2018 16:29

Maybe I'm the only one then Heushreke but I've always discussed with DH how much we're spending on each other even in the early days. Its not hard 'how much are we spending on each other this year oh dearest? What about £50 or do you wanna do more?' May sound unromantic but avoids problems like the OPs.

We even set ourselves the 'soppy challenge' for our first valentine's day, when we'd only been dating a month, to see who could get the soppiest thing for less than a fiver.

OliviaBenson · 20/12/2018 16:36

He's sulking?! I'd tell him that no his present wasn't that amazing tbh.

Lovestonap · 20/12/2018 16:38

I'd be disappointed too. Flowers are a nice way of saying thank you for something, but they're not really a present imo.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 20/12/2018 16:38

Why are so many of you ignoring him sulking?
She took a picture and sent a text straight away thanking him.
How effusive does she have to be over a bunch of flowers?

Lovestonap · 20/12/2018 16:39

Also, if you fake enthusiasm you set yourself up for a lifetime of poor communication and disappointment.

Lovestonap · 20/12/2018 16:40

Also, doghouse? I'd dump him tbh.

SantasBassoon · 20/12/2018 16:43

It's a bit unimaginative I suppose, but I really like receiving flowers so I'd be pleased. He shouldn't have been giving them a big build up though - that's just going to make you think he'd really pushed the boat out!

Dyrne · 20/12/2018 16:45

Agree with the PP who said he actually probably spent a fair bit - a bog standard bouquet costs about £50 for delivery from some places.

And I have a similar conversation with DP every year on how much we’re budgeting for presents - saves this exact hassle!

And it’s not a terrible present - as shown, some would be delighted with flowers. What would you have preferred, OP?

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