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Original poster

Flowers for Christmas from new boyfriend.

214 replies

seriouslypanicking · 20/12/2018 14:47

What would you think if you got a bunch of flowers from someone you’ve been dating for a year.

My oh just gave me flowers from the internetthey arrived today but the way he’s been messaging me the past week leaving me clues and made it appear I was getting Crown Jewels or something a bit more than flowers.

I’m well aware I appear like a spoilt brat but he’s going away to his family today so I know that’s all he’s bothered to get me. Whereas I spent quite a bit of time and thought on his present. Feeling a bit deflated to be honest.

I can almost feel the grow up comments coming in already as I type this and I’d say the same, but this guy is now sulking because I apparently didn’t congratulate him on his really thoughtful gift enough so now I’m somehow in the doghouse.

For further info I received them alone and opened them up straight away put them in a vase and sent a photo thanking him to say there were lovely.

OP posts:
RagingWhoreBag · 21/12/2018 16:32

Well as he's bought you thoughtful gifts before then I guess he isn't a complete gift idiot. Maybe chalk this one up to experience and then before the next big occasion you can talk about how thoughtful he was to remember and buy you the bag and purse and see if it sinks in. But tbh the sulking about you not being suitable grateful is a bit concerning. Maybe he's starting to show his true colours, or maybe just having an off day. You'll find out.

Original poster
seriouslypanicking · 22/12/2018 02:34

Just to add further he’s now ignored me for the entire day. He sent an email Thursday evening telling me this would be his first and last gift to me, and maybe if I looked past being spoilt and how much they cost I could appreciate the effort he’d gone to in the first place.

So I replied sorry the Thankyou for my gift wasn’t enough, but I don’t really need the drama of a grown adult sulking about it and if he didn’t grow up it’s probably best not to contact me again.

I was half thinking it was me, maybe I wasn’t grateful enough but I’m livid right now he could drag this out to be my fault and most probably single too!

OP posts:
FlyingMonkeys · 22/12/2018 03:06

The sulking would piss me right off! You've said thank you and sent the pic, you don't need to wax lyrical over them. However he may have expected brownie points for ordering them to be received whilst he was away, and recalling your favourite flower. To put it into context my 'surprise me with something you think I'd like' gift from an ex was, an ironing board and a dictionary 😂 - He seemed really confused I wasn't peeing my pants with excitement? As I was starting uni so clearly a dictionary was useful and thoughtful, and I'd been moaning about ironing my clothes on a towel on the sideboard for ages.... In his head he was being very thoughtful! And I did get his process behind it tbh - following gifts were far less shit btw 😁

BlackCatSleeping · 22/12/2018 03:29

It only takes a few minutes to order flowers online 🤨

He sounds hard work. Can you return his present and buy yourself something nice instead?

PinkAvocado · 22/12/2018 04:24

Perfect reply, OP. He sounds hard work.

Janus · 22/12/2018 04:46

What a complete arse!!
A bunch of bloody tulips is not all that exciting!! Yes, they would be lovely, if it were spring and sent as just a ‘thinking of you’ one night when you got in from work. As a Christmas present, bloody shite!! £40 when you’ve been together a year and I imagine he earns quite well if he’s from America and working over here (it that right?) is not much. The main thing is by the time he comes home they will be dead while he’s got his lovely slippers to walk around in!
BUT the main thing is the bloody sulking. I think I’d have to say ‘how excited did you think I should be about a bunch of flowers that will be dead by the time you get back?’
Honestly, I’d think it was over. It’s not about how much was spent but his lack of effort really. Ordered over the internet is not difficult. I think if he’d sent a beautiful card saying how special this last year had been, how much he’s loved your time together, how he can’t wait for next year etc, that would have definitely saved it but a card written by someone else in the flowers isn’t much effort really.

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual · 22/12/2018 05:28

I think he's gone on the defensive because your gift to him was so much better.

Either way, he's a real dick.

KnockMeDown · 22/12/2018 05:49

I don't really understand how he was expecting you to react? You said thank you they're lovely, showed your appreciation by putting them in a vase and taking a photo. What more did he want?

Did he open your present with you, what was his reaction? Was he pleased?

Gina2012 · 22/12/2018 05:57

The bit that stuck out for me was that he was sulking because you weren't sufficiently grateful.

This

Run away

He is a wrong 'un

Petalflowers · 22/12/2018 05:59

Knock - that’s what I was thinking.

generalexpert · 22/12/2018 06:00

I too am utterly useless at buying gifts for my wife of 20yrs. I've probably got better over time, but quite often it can result in an argument.

My problem is I don't see the importance in gifts at Christmas as an adult. I've also had too many birthdays to care.

Try and judge him on the other 364 days in the year!

ChristmasFlary · 22/12/2018 06:01

I'm not overly keen on flowers...well actually I am, just not from my now ex husband as l always thought of it as a cop out gift.

If he purchased them just because, l would have been delighted. But to get them instead of a gift was a no no for me.

I wanted to feel loved and appreciated by my ex and flowers really didn't do that for me.

He sulked once as he had spent an absolute fortune on flowers for mother's day one time and l wasn't sufficiently grateful. I think it was when he said "l know you don't really like flowers but l didn't know what else to get" that upset me the most

babysharkie · 22/12/2018 06:03

Poor guy, he must have searched really hard to buy tulips on the internet Hmm

OliviaStabler · 22/12/2018 06:10

Flowers are nice but not a Christmas present I'd be happy receiving. I think of them as more of a gift you'd receive if someone was coming for dinner or to give as a thank you gesture.

I'd find his sulking unattractive and very off-putting. Were you supposed to do cartwheels round your house because he bought you a bunch of flowers? Ridiculous attitude.

HJWT · 22/12/2018 06:19

@seriouslypanicking wow he sounds great NOT!! He's going on like he's bought you a new bag for £1000+ and you've gone meh, not my cup of tea ! What a weirdo....

justalittlebitsad · 22/12/2018 06:42

I would love flowers for Christmas but I would be disappointed with that offering. Internet flowers are crap generally - decent local florist every time!!!

Gina2012 · 22/12/2018 06:49

Try and judge him on the other 364 days in the year!

Or take into account his utterly childish attitude to the 'wrong type of Thank you' for the tulips. What a twat!

Men who don't know what to buy or say that gifts aren't important to them, are a waste of space.

Mondaytired · 22/12/2018 06:49

Warning flag for me... if he’s sulking about you not saying the thank you he had imagined what’s he going to be like in the future?
I can’t abide sulking nor people giving the silent treatment. It makes me cringe when I hear people say “oh I’m ignoring him/ her” urh.

Feb2018mumma · 22/12/2018 06:51

Our first Christmas, my now husband got me a Tigger mug... Flipping hate Tigger, always have, he's too jumpy and I'm a Eeyore or Piglet girl but still drink out of it 6 years on! We always joke no one likes Tigger and don't know what he was thinking! Presents can be crap Flowers

snitzelvoncrumb · 22/12/2018 06:58

In a few years you will look back and remember the best gift ever! I'm getting $4 flip flops I bought myself 😂.
I can understand how you might feel disappointed though, it's the least imaginative gift you can get. Please tell me they were supermarket ones?? If you haven't given him his gift yet send him some balloons for Christmas. He might get it then.

MaverickSnoopy · 22/12/2018 07:02

I'll never forget the year DH got me a kitchen bin for Christmas. We'd been together 3 years. It wasn't even a good bin. Then again he knows not to waste money on the likes of flowers 😉.

Had he not been stroppy about this I probably would have said, he's tried but failed, try not to be disappointed and just move on. As he's being a self indulged idiot, instead I'll say, he's tried, failed and is now blowing this all out of proportion. The way he's speaking to you about this, about not being grateful enough is pretty vile. Partners are supposed to laugh at this stuff or brush it off. I mean, look at the kitchen bin scenario. He's not long term partner material if this is him. This would certainly be a big flag for me and I'd be on the look out for more.

OneToThree · 22/12/2018 07:08

By acting like this to you he’s ruining your Christmas as it’s on your mind. How about ruining his too and dumping him Grin

DreamOnandOnRon · 22/12/2018 07:11

What did he want from you? Seriously! You took a photo, said thank you they are lovely and noted that he had been thoughtful remembering you liked tulips. What a complete and utter dick. What would have been enough? A photo of you weeping with joy at the sheer imagination of buying someone a bunch of flowers.

Glad you’ve had words about his sulking. I agree with everyone who says they are a red flag. Some people genuinely struggle with gift giving but even the dimmest of men could manage to visit a jewellers and ask an assistant to help pick out a simple bracelet/necklace or to buy a scarf that matched any item of clothing you own. Anything really to show you have made an effort. Internet flowers in this context are utterly poop.

Cookit · 22/12/2018 07:12

This is so odd!!

If my DP got me flowers I’d be grateful and say thank you and that would then be that because ... they’re flowers. Nothing overly special.

To say they’re your last ever present? This is just childish and incredibly bizarre.
Seriously, leave him to cool off a bit and don’t keep texting and phoning.

Did he open your gift yet?

Insomnibrat · 22/12/2018 07:14

From your update I'm taking a guess that it his guy's a bit of a narcissist.

Look up some of the warning signs and then start protecting yourself emotionally, OP.