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Original poster

Flowers for Christmas from new boyfriend.

214 replies

seriouslypanicking · 20/12/2018 14:47

What would you think if you got a bunch of flowers from someone you’ve been dating for a year.

My oh just gave me flowers from the internetthey arrived today but the way he’s been messaging me the past week leaving me clues and made it appear I was getting Crown Jewels or something a bit more than flowers.

I’m well aware I appear like a spoilt brat but he’s going away to his family today so I know that’s all he’s bothered to get me. Whereas I spent quite a bit of time and thought on his present. Feeling a bit deflated to be honest.

I can almost feel the grow up comments coming in already as I type this and I’d say the same, but this guy is now sulking because I apparently didn’t congratulate him on his really thoughtful gift enough so now I’m somehow in the doghouse.

For further info I received them alone and opened them up straight away put them in a vase and sent a photo thanking him to say there were lovely.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 20/12/2018 16:46

Can you quantify this? On one hand you call him a new boyfriend, on the next your other half, new boyfriends are not other halves and vice Versa. How long have you been together?

Bluntness100 · 20/12/2018 16:47

Sorry just seen it was a year,,ignore my question. I'm not sure why you'd call someone you've been with a year though your new boyfriend.

anniehm · 20/12/2018 16:50

Might not be the only thing - it's not Christmas yet! Some people like to send flowers in advance

Babyg1995 · 20/12/2018 16:50

I would be disappointed too op Dp got me perfume make up and a gorgeous Vivienne westwood bag and we had only been together 3 months mind you I usually just pick what I want now. He's passed the trying to impress stage Grin

Pieceofpurplesky · 20/12/2018 16:52

You thanked him BUT you must have also told his you were disappointed because he knows you are.
I would be cross if you did that - day thanks and then say 'but it's crap'.
How big is the bouquet

Pieceofpurplesky · 20/12/2018 16:54

Baby with all due respect your OH must have been loaded. I would hate that type of present as no originality or thought just a show of money. I prefer something meaningful

BookMeOnTheSudExpress · 20/12/2018 16:55

I'm another one a bit confused. New boyfriend, boyfriend of a year or other half?
What exactly were his previous hints that you were getting something amazing? And what has he said now to show he's sulking and you're in the doghouse?
Because if your message thanking him was as effusive as you say, then he's a twat. If you hinted you were disappointed then that's a bit nasty.

pfwow · 20/12/2018 16:55

It's nice to get flowers, but unless you are really keen on them, it's a bit of an obvious gift, any old leaving do or bog standard mother's day and you hand over a nice bouquet. It's not personal or anything. I get why you are disappointed, and I don't think it's unreasonable at all. He IS very unreasonable to expect more the the very ample thanks he got. He might have put money in, but it's hardly a lot of thought.

YourEggnogIsBetterThanMine · 20/12/2018 16:56

Flowers are a shit gift. They require zero thought and they die. I'd take a Toblerone over flowers. And sulking? Jog on!

Chamomileteaplease · 20/12/2018 16:57

Did he actually say that your thank your text wasn't effusive enough?? Shock

Had you discussed how much you would both be spending?

What is he like normally about this kind of thing, ie what was he like regarding your birthday present?

RosieRoo4 · 20/12/2018 17:02

Crap present, I would expect flowers after a month of dating not a year! If you’ve spend a significant amount on his present I’d take it back and buy him a bottle of boring aftershave (cheap boring aftershave) and then I’d spend the rest on something frivolous for myself Xmas Smile

welshsoph · 20/12/2018 17:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RogueV · 20/12/2018 17:05

Yea it’s a shit present. I’d be Hmm too

Thespace · 20/12/2018 17:09

It’s not great if that is literally it.

cowfacemonkey · 20/12/2018 17:13

I'd be more bothered by the sulking than the flowers. Was it a particularly stunning arrangement of flowers?

KeysHairbandNotepad · 20/12/2018 17:13

My husband would never buy me flowers but that's because I told him early on that my abusive exh used them as an apology tool throughout our relationship.

So yes , I think they're a shit gift.

Kittykat93 · 20/12/2018 17:15

As a Christmas present that's shit. Yanbu

jessstan2 · 20/12/2018 17:17

I'd think it was lovely!

Don't be mean, he meant well. He probably spent ages on the internet choosing what he thought was just the right bouquet, there are some really lovely ones.

None are cheap either so he's not being a cheapskate.

beepbeeprichie · 20/12/2018 17:18

I see where you’re coming from. Aside from the sulking, which is a massive red flag, it’s a lazy gift. And this time of year, with houses decked out in festive crap and cards, who really has space or need for flowers to brighten things up? Poor show. Is he usually quite thoughtless/ generic/ arsey?

Thespace · 20/12/2018 17:22

I do think some men think flowers are the ultimate in romance. I met a guy who made a big song and dance about getting me flowers and how he had never been so romantic with any woman before. He left them on my doorstep as he felt so awkward about being so romantic. I saw them in Asda a few days later for £3. But he really thought it was a lovely big gesture Confused.

Weirdlookingbricks · 20/12/2018 17:24

Depends entirely on the flowers.
Did he go to the florist and choose them personally, being there with the florist while they created a magnificent bouquet together? If yes then how lovely! If no, then not so good.

Crunchymum · 20/12/2018 17:28

His reaction sounds a bit concerning.

So you didn't praise him enough. Fuck that!!

What did you get him OP?

LaurieFairyCake · 20/12/2018 17:28

Well I got these today and they're from Nikky Tibbles at Liberty. They are very special. So if you got something like this I'd think they were a lovely thought (mine were not a gift from a partner)

Flowers for Christmas from new boyfriend.
amusedbush · 20/12/2018 17:29

I think flowers are a shit gift and I'd be gutted if someone had wasted £50+ on something that would die after a week.

ChocolateWombat · 20/12/2018 17:33

I don't like the idea if him sulking after you said thanks.......but to be honest you sound like you have equal reactions to these kind of things.

Get over the gift being such a big deal.....both the amount of money spent, exactly what it is, your perception of the effort level put in, and see your relationship as worth more than gifts and the esteem he holds you in as not measured by gifts.

Sometimes gifts can be a little disappointing. You're allowed a few moments of minor disappointment but if you allow yourself more than that, you're wallowing innit and allowing the wrong things to matter. Be a gracious recipent and say a genuine 'thanks' - if you do this, there shouldn't be any need for sulking, but perhaps your thanks was a little pointed and designed to make clear that you weren't impressed - doesn't sound very loving to me.

My DH has got my some great gifts and some shockers over the years. At no point has the amount I've liked the gift reflected his level of love or care for me.....and fortunately we both know that. Sometimes we've later laughed about some of the bizarre gifts, but that has never amounted to me having a sense of disappointment or feeling he hadn't tried, or that he needed teaching a lesson about gift giving. I get that it's your first Christmas, but to be honest the reactions from both if you sound like you're about 15!