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Original poster

Think I don’t dress my 6 year old dd like the other girls

211 replies

WishfulSprouts · 18/12/2018 16:34

Don’t think we’re too unusual I prefer traditional style outfits, ditzy prints, colourful tights and clothes think JL Jojo mama that kind of style but this isn’t like 99% of girl in her class.
Dropped her at school party day today and most of the other girls were in sparkly glittery clothes, jeans, skirts mainly pink/grey/black with glitter boots.
Dd has never said anything about clothes until she came home today said a couple of the girl said her clothes were ‘weird’.
Maybe I need to dress her more ‘trendy’? Sorry hate that word but you know what I mean?

OP posts:
Dothehappydance · 19/12/2018 12:59

My 6 yr old (almost7) has been choosing her clothes since well before 2. Not any doing on my part but she knows her own mind . She lives pretty much in leggings outside school and if she does have a dress on she wears leggings underneath. Summer was difficult as she wouldn't wear typical shorts. She probably is different to her peers but won't entertain anything different.

She doesn't have a pair of jeans and I don't think she has worn any other type of trousers either. My eldest DD(12) also mainly wears leggings and ds (10 ASD) wears joggers, or nothing as the case may be.

abacucat · 19/12/2018 13:01

That is different if the child is very clear on what they want. I have a nephew who is like this. He always insisted on wearing clothes that made him stand out. Often against what his parents would have chosen.

MsTSwift · 19/12/2018 13:53

My second dd also very clear about what she wears and that’s fine. The issue is the poor kid who isn’t that bothered what they wear so rather than looking round to see what peers are wearing mum takes it on herself to kit the child out like Charlotte Windsor or an Enid blyton character no doubt inwardly congratulating herself at how wholesome her dd looks in comparison to the other average besequinned kids yet inadvertently setting kid up for lifetime of therapy

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OutPinked · 19/12/2018 14:07

My DD’s are six and seven. If I let them choose their own clothes in shops and indeed their own outfits day to day they would look like some sort of glitter fairy unicorn mash up Grin. I do obviously let them choose their own outfits sometimes but have had to tell them to change in the past when they’ve tried putting a skirt over jeans for example Hmm. Maybe it’s controlling, I just want them to look nice...

OutPinked · 19/12/2018 14:09

Also when I was a child I wanted flashing Barbie trainers more than anything and my mum wouldn’t allow it because they were so bloody ghastly. She always dressed me really well, never liked me in pink or frills etc. My dad bought me some of the trainers and let me wear them at the weekend but when she saw them she took them away, I was gutted! Looking back though I’m happy she didn’t let me walk around looking like a twat Grin.

CottonSock · 19/12/2018 14:09

@OutPinked mine is also a fan of the layered look. Skirt plus dress, maybe jeans. I think she just wants to wear everything in one go. I don't want to do that much washing! She also looks very silly

abacucat · 19/12/2018 14:13

outpinked That is normal.

Yes I think as kids most of us knew one kid who was dressed like an Enid Blyton character. And it has an impact on them.
A few people stand out with what they wear. But most adults actually do dress to fit in. We don't go to a party wearing shorts and t shirts if everyone else is going to be wearing smart evening dresses. We don't go to a wedding wearing lounging about casual wear. We do mostly wear things to fit in. So why a child should be made to ignore these social rules I don't understand.

abacucat · 19/12/2018 14:14

outpinked Disagree about barbie trainers though.

drspouse · 19/12/2018 14:50

But we aren't talking about going to a wedding wearing a tracksuit. We're talking about going to a wedding wearing a tight fitting sequinned outfit versus a conservative trouser suit.

All the clothes the OP describes are appropriate to the occasion, just not exactly the same as other children.
I'd suggest that the OP starts to help her DD to choose from within her own wardrobe and then once she's worked out her DD's preferences, go with that more.
And give her strategies for rude children; if it's in a formal setting like school/clubs, talk to the other adults too.

formerbabe · 19/12/2018 14:57

I do obviously let them choose their own outfits sometimes but have had to tell them to change in the past when they’ve tried putting a skirt over jeans for example hmm. Maybe it’s controlling, I just want them to look nice

Why does it matter if they want to put a skirt over jeans?

Why do you care more about what others think than what your own children want to wear?

My dd used to wear all kinds of crazy combinations...like I said, she had a speech delay so I felt like it was important way for her to express herself.

DragonMamma · 19/12/2018 15:03

I agree with what MsTSwift said wholeheartedly.

DonderandBlitzen · 19/12/2018 15:07

It's easier now you can just point to clothes on a website and ask kids if they like them or not. Means you don't need to drag them round shops. Can't do it with primark though

dustarr73 · 19/12/2018 15:08

8I have a 9 year old boy and he’s already told me he wants to look chic, so please can I buy him some hair gel and skinny black jeans 🤣🤣🤣*

Yep 10 year old boy i have,showers every morning and has deoderant and gel.Always has his hair done.

My older 2 didnt hit that stage till they where about 13 or 14.

drspouse · 19/12/2018 15:16

It's easier now you can just point to clothes on a website and ask kids if they like them or not.
Unless you have either a child who won't wear clothes that feel one way or another or a child who changes their mind every 5 minutes!

lljkk · 19/12/2018 15:20

My kids hate jeans. I grew up in them but only the oldest teenager mildly tolerates them.

All of mine had firm views about what they liked to wear by age 5.

ForAMinuteThere · 19/12/2018 15:36

@cottonsock your dd sounds fabulous and exactly what she should be like at a tiny 5.5!

DonderandBlitzen · 19/12/2018 15:38

Unless you have either a child who won't wear clothes that feel one way or another or a child who changes their mind every 5 minutes!
Yes, they'd need to try them on in the first case. Not sure what you'd do in the second case as taking them shopping to choose wouldn't help if they were going to keep changing their mind afterwards.

BeTheHokeyMan · 19/12/2018 15:49

My daughter is 6 and will wear anything I put on her (long may it last!!).But she IS drawn towards sparkly glittery stuff or anything that has unicorns or animals on.She has never worn jeans and neither has her older brother they've just always found them uncomfortable. I dress her for comfort so leggings tracksuits jumpers tees and she loves Skechers runners too.All her friends dress the same but we live rurally so maybe that's why there isn't as much pressure or emphasis on what people wear?

blueskiesandforests · 19/12/2018 15:50

Perhaps they get over excited because being allowed to choose what to wear is a novelty OutPinked - like kids at uniform schools who get worked up over mufti days and stress themselves out or go crazy and wear something unsuitable, where children whove always been at non uniform school just pull on jeans and a jumper and go to school...

Bishalisha · 19/12/2018 15:54

My 9 year old DS won’t wear jeans. He will only wear track suit bottoms and shorts out of school. For the last few years he’s picked most of his own clothes!

GrumbleBumble · 20/12/2018 13:57

There is a whole lot of middle ground between between mini club wear and "ghost of child killed in the blitz". There are plenty of dresses with full coverage that have a bit of sparkle or look a bit trendier. The OP should be able to find a way to dress her DD that don't mean serious compromise of her taste. There are lots or trouser / legging that aren't jeans to pair with a pretty top.

Angelinthenight · 20/12/2018 19:53

River island and zara seem to be a hit more modern style of clothes.

HexagonalBattenburg · 20/12/2018 20:49

It's this year really that DD1 (year 2 at school) has started to have more of an interest in what she wears - mainly related to the amount of unicorns and sequins you can get onto an item of clothing. There's one child in her class who can be quite opinionated and outspoken about what other children choose to wear which is a small factor but I think it's just part of them growing up naturally as well.

She selected to go to her class party day wearing sparkly gold tights, trainers with huge pompoms on the front, a dress with unicorns in space on, and a bright pink hoodie over the top with a sequined unicorn on it. Looked like a minion that had fallen into a Lush glitter bathbomb with the sparkly gold tights but she was as happy as anything - and most of the other girls in her class appeared to have made similar self-directed fashion choices looking at them all! Very definitely dressed as girls of their age group though - nothing overly "mature" - just really garishly colour schemed!

Still wears jeans and leggings a lot of the time, still chooses to wear trousers to school most days against the general trend of the girls in her class so she IS confident in her own choices - she just tends to hear the word "party" and insert as much sparkly bling as it's possible to get into the situation. If you can't dress like that and think you're absolutely the most awesome person going when you're 6 - when the fuck can you?!

My other daughter's only a year younger but doesn't go for bling or sparkles at all - likes very soft clothing, likes textures (she's got some sensory issues) and if it includes dinosaurs on it - dinosaurs are cool.

Camille01 · 20/12/2018 21:37

My nearly 7 year old hasn’t shown any interest in fashion. She never looks or asks for any particular type of clothes. That said I tend to buy a good mixture for her. Dresses, jeans, skirts, leggings.. I know it wont stay like this forever so going to enjoy it while I can. She’s very fussy about seams and labels and is always whining about clothes being itchy though.

neveradullmoment99 · 20/12/2018 22:05

My dd loves leggings, skinny jeans, tops, sparkly reverse sequins tops, flouncy dresses/skirts.
I have bought a lot from Next and Asda.