Think I don’t dress my 6 year old dd like the other girls

[WishfulSprouts]

Don’t think we’re too unusual I prefer traditional style outfits, ditzy prints, colourful tights and clothes think JL Jojo mama that kind of style but this isn’t like 99% of girl in her class.
Dropped her at school party day today and most of the other girls were in sparkly glittery clothes, jeans, skirts mainly pink/grey/black with glitter boots.
Dd has never said anything about clothes until she came home today said a couple of the girl said her clothes were ‘weird’.
Maybe I need to dress her more ‘trendy’? Sorry hate that word but you know what I mean?

DD is 8 and still dresses as... well... as a child. Jo jo / Boden (plus cheaper brands in a similar style!) etc.
A lot of the girls in her class are much more into crop tops, hot pants, boots with a slight heel etc. Sorry if I sound judgy but I do not want my 8-year old dressing like a teenager. Luckily DD likes the clothes she wears and to the best of my knowledge no-one at school has commented.

That "so glad I didn't have a girl" thing doesn't really work unless you believe that all girls care about clothes and no boys do. Think about adults. Do all women and no men care about clothes? No. Same with kids.

My DD is 7 and has had very strong opinions about what she wears since she was 2. She won't wear anything remotely 'girly', luckily that includes heels & crop tops. I hate to see children in stuff like that.

My boy is much more choosy about clothes than my girl.

The gendered “all girls care about clothes and those lovely down to earth boys just roll in the mud” is bollocks. In my dds class (9 year olds) the boys are far more imagine conscious they really care about hair and are forever faffing with gel and different styles

The gendered “all girls care about clothes and those lovely down to earth boys just roll in the mud” is bollocks. In my dds class (9 year olds) the boys are far more imagine conscious they really care about hair and are forever faffing with gel and different styles
Yep!
I have a 9 year old boy and he’s already told me he wants to look chic, so please can I buy him some hair gel and skinny black jeans 🤣🤣🤣
My 7 year old dd also likes to choose her clothes but funnily enough, I bought her some rainbow stripy bright tights which she loves - I could have gone for glittery or pastel colours but took a gamble after the OP and thought let me see what happens.

Neither of my kids have jeans despite the fact that I practically live in mine. DS9 finds them uncomfortable and DD5 would rather be in leggings or skirts. He doesn't really care about what he wears and never has. She likes to shop and usually goes for something with sparkle on it.

Opposite scenario here. DD7 would never wear anythnig she didn't want to, but whilst most of the girls in her class gravitate towards sparkle and dresses, she wears khaki jeans and a black jersey top, or sports leggings and hoodies.

She looks amazing, even if she basically dresses like a 20-something who works in Old Street and is off to the gym after work

I dressed dd similarly, when she chose her own clothes she would always choose dresses and tights and soon had her own style that might have been at odds with her friends but it was what she liked and felt comfortable in. She has never worn jeans, she rarely if ever wears trousers and at 25 she owns over 100 dresses and not one pair of jeans and the only leggings she owns are what she wears for physio.
OP dd never felt the need to dress like her classmates and is and was happy and confident with her own style if your dd is happy then why change things?

My little girl looks nothing like her peers at school.shes nearly 5 and loves dresses and skirts with doc martens. Well actually anything with doc martens 🤣 ive always embraced it and let her wear within reason what she wants. Shes never mentioned other kids and what they wear. She is exceptionally confident though so i dont think it would affect her anyway. Shame kids that age feel the need to be sheep and not embrace uniqueness. My daughter may well be picking up my vibes aswel though as im not one to follow fashions and other people. I wear whatever i want to.

My daughter is 5.5 and young in her year. My heart aches for her a bit when we go to parties. All her friends are dressed as you describe and quite into fashion. My dd chooses to dress as Elsa still, or a wacky combination of things from her wardrobe plus crazy accessories e.g. cooking apron, fairy wings, unicorn ears. Luckily no one has teased her yet.

I think I need to take her to H&M as starting to find next poor.

Dd has grown again so I've been looking for some dresses for her (she has trousers but wants dresses to go with some cool tights). All my local clothes shops - QS, New Look, huge Tesco - have no long-sleeved dresses for anyone over 4,and all dresses are essentially clubbing gear in small sizes, with sequins and the odd extra unicorn. Not practical for everyday but if dd wanted one for a party I'd get one.
There's a cultural split here between families who wear what's in the shops above and those who travel to Next, H&M, John Lewis etc, and I can see a kids' party being imbalanced and a kid on either side feeling 'odd'.

Dd likes clothes but has her own sense of style. But doesn't want to go shopping so asks me to pick things up - so I often get random items in charity shops. Her favourite dress makes her look like Snow White but she can carry it off!

Ds is older and has ASD so sticks out whether he likes it or not. He has certain colours and textures he likes and hates so within that, I try to ensure he has clothes that are reasonably cool if not the height of fashion, as he wouldn't want to look especially wierd but wouldn't know how not to. Luckily a Minecraft T-shirt is all it takes to look very cool among his mates and is a conversation starter.

This thread has reminded me what a blessing school uniform is! As I mentioned upthread, I wasn't aware of style whatsoever as a kid, so wore the clothes my mum put me in (similar to Princess Charlotte's look, but still wearing it as a solidly-build 9/10 year old). My primary school didn't have a uniform so off I trotted in my frills and ankle socks while my class-mates rocked up in cords and polo-necks. I stood out like a sore thumb in school, but never knew why. Life would've been much easier had we all have been in uniform.

Please don't take advantage of your child's passivity where style is concerned by dressing them differently: It's kinder to deviate towards the norm rather than let your taste dominate.

I’ve never been interested in clothes but as a kid my favourites were the hand me downs from school friends which made me look ‘normal’ compared to the stuff my mum bought. My mum was never very into clothes either and thought anything ‘trendy’ if fashionable was daft so would actively avoid anything in style. I think she wanted people to think she was above anything as shallow as wanting to look nice. It’s not nice being made to make a statement through your style of dress that isn’t your statement.
One of my dcs is very stylish and does dress quite unusually. She always has since being tiny and people do comment but it’s her choice and she is happy with that.

DD (6) has always expressed a strong opinion on what she wants to wear.

Our compromise is a trip twice a year to John Lewis and within a strict budget, she can choose her winter/summer clothes. We don't buy her clothes (except underwear) at any other time of year.

She hates jeans but loves leggings.

She's happy because she's chosen her clothes and I'm happy because on the whole, JL is pretty inoffensive and reasonably priced.

oohyoudevilyou you poor thing 😔 I see a similar girl (8/9) in my DC’s school. The mum is clearly trying to keep her ‘young’ and so it’s all frilly ankle socks, patent T bar school shoes, a little one-layer bob with flowery hair slides and a red woollen coat with peg buttons now it’s winger. Oh and she has a very ‘young’ backpack whereas all the others have Hype and sports brands.

She is like a little mouse and whilst she isn’t being bullied (to my knowledge) she always seems to be on the periphery of the friendship groups and doesn’t seem to fit in with the vast majority of kids there as she looks like an extra from a 1940s movie

The gendered “all girls care about clothes and those lovely down to earth boys just roll in the mud” is bollocks.

DS does have an interest in clothes- just not shopping and I find it easy to buy for him despite fabric restrictions due to eczema.

He doesn’t say anything, unlike our DDs who often point of stuff they like while out and about - but when you get it right it’s clothes that he tries to constantly live in – and when it’s wrong they don’t come out of wardrobe. I think that's more due to personality than him being a boy.

MIL struggled for a few years – we did wonder if she was shopping for generic boy and not him. Currenty she's been better than us at finding stuff he loves.

OP's DD would blend in fine at our school. As they go through juniors, the pinks get replaced by darker colours. Jeans seem to be unpopular, other than very stretchy jeggings. Lots of bright leggings and dresses/ tunics.

Sequins are popular. The boys love the reversible sequin tops too!

My 8yo has always asserted strong preferences about clothes since he was 2. Probably before that too as he was awful to apply clothes to. He's very sensory so will only wear shorts all year. Concessions for long socks in bitterly cold weather, but he's happy and hasn't had hypthermia yet despite being an outdoorsy type, so 99% of the time, it's better to let him get on with it. He has the longest hair out of the boys in school since a y6 moved on. He's happy with his style and has been told to talk to me if he isn't.

DS2 is more malleable and traditional. He loves things like flowery shirts or dungarees. As long as he's happy, I'm happy.

They have strong quirky peronalities and seem to ride out their sartorial choices as part of being quirky individuals which seems to be respected.

Children's fashions can be very localised.

*winter not winger!

The OP said her daughter hasn't shown an interest in what she's wearing previously, until she was picked on. How sad is that, that she is now only bothered because of bullies?

Two throwaway comments is "bullies"?

I think it's good that she's now had a chance to choose some clothes she likes, and even better that the OP hasn't overruled her in her choice not to have jeans. If she's wearing something she really loves, and is generally quite confident and secure, she probably won't mind if people occasionally say negative things about her choices. After all, children who do consciously decide to dress in a very unusual or controversial way are happy to put up with the odd comment. Why shouldn't someone whose taste is only slightly different from the mainstream feel the same?

Also, they're 6. The comments she got were probably not intended to upset her, 6 year olds tend to say what they think.

My 2yr old DS also has strong opinions on what he wears.
He mainly likes things with a car/truck/train/pawpatrol on the front and pref in red.
He prefers jeans to tracksuit bottoms (because he's skinny and im forever pulling up his tracksuit bottoms)
He's now the proud owner of one of those sequin reversable tops with marshall and chase on

As long as he's appropratly dressed for the weather im happy tbh.

some wise words on his thread particularly regarding if your child is passive and doesn’t really care veering towards dressing like her peers rather than like the poor kid dragon describes.

You can imagine that mother is patting herself on the back that her dd looks like an evacuee or one of Kate Middletons toddlers rather than your sequin wearing average kid. Am sure the kid in 10 years will have a different take on it...

But in every child's wardrobe there are variations; more or less floral, plain or patterned.

My DD has a very large number of clothes handed down from DS. They have some items that they both loved, and she has her favourites too. The smart shirts that he loves wearing have been greeted with "meh" by DD. She'll wear jeans though, which he won't. His favourite colour at her age was orange, she can take it or leave it.

Am sure the kid in 10 years will have a different take on it...
Exactly. Having been that unfortunately attired child but with no interest in clothes, I made sure that my own children DID make choices about what they wore. From a very early age I offered them a choice of "the red top or the green top?", moving on to more input as they got older. Obviously school uniform is non-negotiable, as is practicality such as wellies in snow, coats in winter etc, but i feel that encouraging them to make choices about clothes has helped develop a sense of identity that I lacked.

Exactly ooh that is good parenting imo I don’t think it is “sheep like” or following the crowd to gently help your child fit in even if personally you would rather see them in a smock and knee socks.