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Original poster

Think I don’t dress my 6 year old dd like the other girls

211 replies

WishfulSprouts · 18/12/2018 16:34

Don’t think we’re too unusual I prefer traditional style outfits, ditzy prints, colourful tights and clothes think JL Jojo mama that kind of style but this isn’t like 99% of girl in her class.
Dropped her at school party day today and most of the other girls were in sparkly glittery clothes, jeans, skirts mainly pink/grey/black with glitter boots.
Dd has never said anything about clothes until she came home today said a couple of the girl said her clothes were ‘weird’.
Maybe I need to dress her more ‘trendy’? Sorry hate that word but you know what I mean?

OP posts:
TeenTimesTwo · 18/12/2018 18:44

My 14yo is still not all that interested in clothes.
She'd much rather I just produced something than have to go shopping for it herself. Smile

Crimbobimbo · 18/12/2018 18:45

This is how my nearly 6 year old dresses some of the time. Those chikdren have learnt that attitude from their parents I'd imagine which is a shame as her look sounds nice. I think these things can depend on the make up of the school/area etc.

JacquesHammer · 18/12/2018 18:50

How sad she’s come into contact with unkind comments about being different already.

DD has always dressed “differently” (her choice) From 8 she wanted nothing but goth. Fortunately she was happy despite what people (including adults) said!

I think you’re doing the right thing OP by letting her pick but also say to her being different is awesome!

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Clothing General style & beauty
blueskiesandforests · 18/12/2018 18:53

MattMagnolia did you seriously just write that your 8 year old niece dresses like a hooker ?

blueskiesandforests · 18/12/2018 18:54

In the same post that complains about children dressed like Victorians too...

JacquesHammer · 18/12/2018 18:57

In the same post that complains about children dressed like Victorians too...

My DD would think that the highest compliment possible Grin

CoperCabana · 18/12/2018 19:05

Where do you think kids learn that it is ok to judge people by their clothes or slag people off for their clothes? Some of the comments on this thread (in either ‘direction’) are horrid.

formerbabe · 18/12/2018 19:06

I very much believe in letting children choose their own clothes (bearing in mind weather/general appropriateness obviously).

One of my DC had a severe speech delay so I strongly felt like clothing was a way she could express herself. We had many interesting combinations...I have a great photo of her wearing 5 different patterns at once...think checked coat, stripy tights, spotty top, floral wellies etc!

My ds is another boy who pretty much wears sports wear...mainly black Nike tracksuits bottoms with a plain t shirt...it's his favourite.

As long as they're not wearing anything dreadfully inappropriate for the occasion/weather, then I leave them to it.

tomhazard · 18/12/2018 19:10

I let DD who is he same age pick her own clothes from shops of my choice. I wouldn't always pick what she does but she's got to the age where she has more of an opinion than she's had in the past.
As long as it's season appropriate I don't try to control it too much.

PhilODox · 18/12/2018 19:12

No-one in my family has jeans- they're too cold on your legs in winter, and uncomfortable!
We have cords, chinos, flannels, leggings etc.

DD is 12, but she would still wear mini Boden if it fitted her- her style guru is Grayson Perry... Hmm

holasoydora · 18/12/2018 19:12

My DD likes dungaree dresses, dungarees, short dungarees (are you sensing a theme?), jumpsuits, leggings, comfy, non-fitted T-shirts and sweatshirts or oversized jumper dresses. She won’t wear normal dresses except one comfy denim dress from George at Asda.

She does like the odd sequin top til she complains they are uncomfy.

Her choice - mostly hand-me-downs.

sdaisy26 · 18/12/2018 19:16

My 6yo dd has had very strong opinions about clothes since well before she was 2! I couldn’t just buy her stuff without taking her opinion in to account or she just wouldn’t wear it. We shop at boden & H&M mainly.

She nearly always wears dresses, owns a pair of jeans but will only wear them under heavy duress, will wear leggings sometimes, is keen on the odd sparkly thing. Likes pink and navy.

I tend to show her stuff online and let her choose (within reason) when it is time to update her wardrobe. Or I’ll give her say 3 dresses to choose from and we keep one.

3WildOnes · 18/12/2018 19:18

Thebub I obviously don’t think anyone deserves to get bullied. Especially not for dressing eccentricity. I do think if your child is getting picked on then maybe it’s best to buy them clothes that their peers are wearing rather than clothes you think look cute. It’s different if the child is choosing the clothes themselves obviously.

DrCoconut · 18/12/2018 19:21

I don't like peer pressure influencing my children but I have also tried to allow/help them to fit in where they want to. I remember other kids ripping the shit out of me on non uniform days well into secondary school because my clothes were un fashionable. Either my mum hated what was in and said I'd look silly/common/tarty or things were expensive and I got an imitation that the other kids could spot a mile off. I always vowed my kids wouldn't be avoidably mocked like that. DS2 doesn't seem too bothered yet other than his glasses which he is fussy about, and I can't imagine DS3 (age 3) even noticing what he's wearing, other than refusing his tea towel for his recent nativity play 😂. 20 year old DS1 has a very definite style and obviously it is not for me to dictate what he wears.

neversleepagain · 18/12/2018 19:28

My twins are 6 and in year 1. They had a party at school today and both wore a Mini Boden appliqué jersey dress (not the same ones) with tights and chelsea boots. I think they looked lovely, they looked like 6 year olds and not 13 year olds. My dc don't have jeans either, they don't like them. Their wardrobe is traditional and age appropriate. They haven't really shown an interest in clothes and are happy for me to still pick their clothes. I noticed they looked different to the other girls but it didn't bother them one bit.

Your poor dd and those children just sound nasty.

gamerwidow · 18/12/2018 19:32

Let her choose her own stuff if she wants to and remind her that she doesn’t have to dress the same as everyone else if she doesn’t want to. My DD(8) doesn’t dress like any of the girls at school but would also be horrified at anything I chose for her. She likes short hair and hates anything dressy or fussy. She sometimes looks a bit ‘interesting’ but they are her clothes so she can choose what she likes.

BestZebbie · 18/12/2018 20:44

Don't forget that quite a lot of 6 year olds will have 4yr old siblings, so they might be trying to especially distance themselves from "preschooler" bright appliqué clothing due to their advanced age and sophistication. 😀

SharkSave · 18/12/2018 21:01

Just on the jeans front, Tesco and Morrison's do soft jeans with a soft waistband (like joggers). Not stiff and uncomfortable in anyway and cost less than a tenner

TheBubGrower · 18/12/2018 21:47

copercabana i think you've spoken the most sense on this thread.

3wildones I disagree that you should dress children to look like their peers just so they can fit in. I don't think children should be used as a way for the parents to express themselves / make a statement about themselves (ie when parents dress children in "statement" styles to look cool or different etc) BUT i do think we should encourage our children to be individuals rather than clones. If they choose to wear the latest trends then fair enough, but if they want to wear a suit and bowtie I don't think we should be saying "ok darling, but actually maybe wouldn't you rather look like everyone else your age so you don't stand out?".

It shouldn't be such a big issue and we shouldn't be making our children so self conscious about what they're wearing. Instead we should be teaching them that it's irrelevant and that they should look past a person's clothes. They should have the confidence to dress the way that feels right to them and not be worrying that they'll be picked on for it. If they're being picked on for what they're wearing then that's on the parents of the children doing the bullying, not the parents of the children dressing them.

I have a 2 year old and I dress him as such. He wears comfortable joggers, bright colours and practical jumpers, Clark's shoes etc. I know many of my peers probably think he's dressed in a babyish or untrendy way because they prefer to go for the jeans, mini converse/ Nike classics style, shirts etc and trendy jackets look. But he's 2! I don't really like the mini adult look.

3WildOnes · 18/12/2018 22:08

TheBub I agree with you. I’ve let mine choose their own clothes from a very young age (with in reason!). My only point was that I think if your child is struggling socially already I don’t think parents should be picking out clothes that are going to make them stand out.

ForAMinuteThere · 18/12/2018 22:28

Lad at dds school disco in full suit with a bow tie - they are 9. Know the parents and they are worried he is getting picked on couldn’t help but think dressing him like that isn’t really doing him any favours

@mrstswift I think it's bloody amazing they're letting him be him to be honest. I know one the same and he's encouraged to be himself and wipe away any comments - that's exactly what I hope of my children!

Op make sure your little one knows what the others said about weird clothes is totally irrelevant. Let her have input in what she wears with some guidance as to what is appropriate.

Mine wear whatever the hell they want and its their way of expressing themselves, and they know boundaries (e.g. smart day they know which clothes are smart and which to avoid)

ForAMinuteThere · 18/12/2018 22:29

@thebubgrower you are my type of person Grin

drspouse · 18/12/2018 22:33

I think not owing jeans at 6yo is pretty odd actually

My DS owns jeans but won't wear them. He finds them uncomfortable and prefers bright leggings. I won't waste my money again. I don't find it odd, but I do find it unacceptable that a child should tease another child for their clothes.
He likes floral/bright party shirts, I don't "put him" in certain clothes, I buy or make them, he chooses them.

ChristmasTwatteryDoesMyHeadIn · 18/12/2018 22:36

Odd? That’s a bit strong no? Odd?

Childrenofthesun · 18/12/2018 22:42

According to my 6yo DD, her wardrobe should be made up entirely of those tops that have a sequin picture on them that changes to a different picture when you rub them in the opposite direction.