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Original poster

Why is your friend now an ex friend?

205 replies

Callmedarcy · 06/12/2018 18:41

Mine is an ex friend because

  • she borrowed money that she never paid back
  • she was only around when she had problems. Vanished when I did.
OP posts:
SimplyPut · 09/12/2018 19:40

Because she used me for childcare/money/funding her social life.

She claimed poverty so I paid for coffee/lunches/tickets to cinema etc. Charged me petrol when she was at mine for lunch then gave me a lift to school pick up (her kids went to the same school!!!) but said I had saved train fare so let's call it £5. My fare was £2.80!
That summer she treated herself to a spa weekend and a late spade bag as she hand 'been saving'.

madcatladyforever · 09/12/2018 19:41

She ditched me in the middle of my divorce because she couldn't be arsed to lend the odd support then casually popped up 10 months later when it was all over to ask if we could go out.
The answer was no we can't....ever.

MsAwesomeDragon · 09/12/2018 19:55

Because she "found God" and changed from the easygoing, open minded person I was friends with. Suddenly she was ultra religious, started talking about "praying away the gay" when she knows my DD is gay (I challenged her robustly about this and she did apologise but I don't think she actually changed her opinion) She then basically told me I was going to hell because I'd had 2 children without getting married, and that I should be celibate until I got married (massive hypocrisy there as she had been pretty promiscuous during our uni years).

The really huge thing was when I had a tough time and needed real life, practical support of the type I had given her a lot, and her "support" consisted of telling me to pray, spend a lot of time in church praying so I could "repair my relationship with God". I stopped seeing her at that point. It was too much and I certainly didn't have the headspace at that time to challenge her proclamations. It's no loss, my life has not changed significantly since she is no longer part of it.

Jemma2907 · 09/12/2018 19:56

She lied and said she was seeing me when she was actually cheating on her boyf (who was also a close friend of mine)

Yutes · 09/12/2018 19:59

Never asked after me or knew what was going on with me

Always cancelled our plans (unless she wanted me to drive her somewhere)

Only got in touch when it suited her

Ignored my parents in the street

Always plays the victim.

PushHop · 09/12/2018 20:02

I introduced her to another friend of mine and they really hit it off. Friend A had been a life long friend, Friend B was a new friend. They just fed off of each other's negativity and it was draining. I was already exhausted with them when a family friend passed away and I cancelled a catch up with them because I was upset. They were so cold about it, and a few days later one posted a cryptic FB status that was so blatantly about me that I just blocked and deleted them both and never spoke to them again. We were 22, this was 6 years ago now. Things were going really well for me - new job, happy stable relationship, and they were just always so negative and bitter. I really didn't need that in my life.

Ilovealexa · 09/12/2018 20:23

@Poster65 so was I. They were a pair of idiots!

Ilovealexa · 09/12/2018 20:25

Thanks for the assumption that something happened between us btw!

tobee · 09/12/2018 20:36

She made it clear I was surplus to requirements Grin

EastMidsGPs · 09/12/2018 20:40

She stole my idea. Presented it as her own whilst I was in hospital. It won an award with significant monetary prize.She then got to lead the subsequent project, which failed miserably because she is as thick as pig shit. THEN bad mouthed me saying I wasn't supportive enough of her.

BabySharkDooDooDooDoo · 09/12/2018 20:43

I let the friendship drift with my best friend as i got so fed up of making all the effort all the time with nothing in return

Choccywoccyhooha · 09/12/2018 20:44

Posting some idiotic racist shite on Facebook.

Kemer2018 · 09/12/2018 20:46

Used my childs name and devil child in the same sentence when child was under 2.
Couldn't really get over that.
Miss her though. We'd been friends for decades before we had kids.

ChodeofChodeHall · 09/12/2018 20:49

Because when I moved to a new area, near where he lived, and remarked on how remarkably white the population was, he said, "I know... It's great, isn't it?".

Assumed I'd misheard him, but a couple more racist comments later sealed the deal.

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 09/12/2018 20:52

Q

bluecatgreencat · 09/12/2018 20:58

she was far too intense. Going on and on and on to me about her latest small dramas (usually who said what to who in her family) at length whilst I was going through a divorce and bereavement. Also acting like we were both in the same difficult situation financially. Event though I am single and work full-time and she can afford not to work and goes on yoga retreats and personal mini breaks. Absolutely unbelievably clueless.

yellowtipped · 09/12/2018 20:59
  • she had a huge breakdown, I tried to help as best as I could but she kept going off the rails time and again.
-she kept cheating on her boyfriend who was also one of my best friends and mocking him for being so complacent
  • she brought my newborn daughter a bottle of whisky as a present (for the baby, not for me) and advised that I give it to her so she would sleep. She wasn't in the best state mentally tbf but after 16 years it was too much to deal with anymore.
Groovee · 09/12/2018 21:05

She was instrumental in a bullying campaign against me.

I walked away and it was hard. Now she struggles to be in the same room as me while I don't care anymore

mortifiedmama · 09/12/2018 21:08

Whilst I was in the depths of PND, she used personal stuff I told her to get close to DH and try and have an affair with him.

SleeplessInShanklin · 09/12/2018 21:13

I've been reading this thread with my mouth hanging open! How did these people ever manage to be nice enough to make friends in the first place.

I have autism, and spend an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out why I can't make or maintain a friendship, and ways I can.

And even I'm not as clueless/shitty as 90% of these ex friends. Grin

happinessischocolate · 09/12/2018 21:15

She started a rumour that I was having an affair with a mutual friend who has gf and dd. When I confronted her she said "well I thought you were" so why not talk to me then or maybe if you actually knew anything about me after being my mate for 20 years you'd know I wouldn't do that. During the confrontation it came to light the she was having an affair with the best mate of the mutual male friend.

fleshmarketclose · 09/12/2018 21:21

Because I couldn't watch her allow her only son be abusive to her daughters. He (at 13) broke a pool cue hitting his sister with it, she had numerous bruises and welts and she did nothing apart from replace the cue for a better one when he complained she had broken it by putting her foot up to stop a blow. She completely failed to acknowledge he could have killed her daughter if he'd got her head.
That was the worst incident that I heard about (from her daughter's friend's mum who had seen the bruises) but he was always punching and kicking them and she said nothing other than they should stop annoying him.

Newsername · 09/12/2018 21:32

Loads of things: phoning me up and telling me to make sure the meat was cooked through properly when she was coming for lunch, like I was planning to feed her a live chicken Hmm

Mentioning infront of her kid at some point that she didn’t like my ds(5) stroking her baby’s head and he was annoying. So her son mentioned it to my dd.

Telling me my floorboards show up dirt quickly :/

Telling me her son said our garden was messy :/

Telling me she was tired all the time and parenting was so much hard work when she’d leave her kids at her mums for sleepovers or during the day and her parents would come and do her gardening for her Hmm when she knew I had absolutely no one to leave my kids with and I had absolutely no break from them at all.

Writing quotes on WhatsApp about not getting angry at your kids when that last day she visited I’d really had a bad day and had to tell me kids sternly to be quiet so I could talk...so not really being an understanding friend at all.

Telling me my bra was showing through a button gap, like I was a slut.

I think that bra showing thing was the last stop to fuck off land. And I supported this woman through a miscarriage, marital problems and a tough pregnancy. I picked her son up and dropped him to school when she couldn’t face it through her problems. All I got for it was nitpicking. Bitch. I still see her at school runs but I just say hi and bye.

RedTulip86 · 09/12/2018 21:49

Ex friend no 1- spent all her money on fags and booze whilst I forked out to get her kids clothed as she was so poor.

No.2- no idea, just stopped speaking to me and comletely turned on me. When we tried to clear the air( on her insistence) she was apparently “not in the mood” to speak to me ( but in the right mood to speak to anybody else).

No.3- apparently I looked at her the wrong way after school meeting. Blanked me out since.

And Merry Christmas, thank goodness I have more normal friends :)

AhoyDelBoy · 09/12/2018 21:49

@ginandtonicformeplease
I had the same although no email. Just ghosted me and I’ve never heard anything since. I have no idea why. We were really good friends 🤷🏼‍♀️ It still upsets me almost 3 years later.