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Original poster

Why is your friend now an ex friend?

205 replies

Callmedarcy · 06/12/2018 18:41

Mine is an ex friend because

  • she borrowed money that she never paid back
  • she was only around when she had problems. Vanished when I did.
OP posts:
OneTwistedAngel · 06/12/2018 21:23

My best friend of 14years and I fell out after we left a party and were un a taxi home with her fiance at the time. He was being very disrespectful to her and I defended her. He then threatened me and I argued back at him, my best friend then forced me out the taxi in the middle of the motorway. We have not spoken since and she has married the creep and disowned all of her old friends from school. I fear he is abusive Sad

Stompythedinosaur · 06/12/2018 21:31

One friend is because he was continually rude about dp (groundlessly).

Another friend through work (as nurses) was involved in some abusive practice and I didn't think she was the person I had thought she was.

Another friend because he hates children (which I could live with) and talks about how awful my dc are (which I can't).

user1471521128 · 06/12/2018 21:32

Drifted because I didn't pander to her attention seeking posts on Facebook and she has no time for people who aren't invested in her by liking her Facebook posts (she actually put that on Facebook once). A few months ago it got back to me via random mutual friends that we had had a huge falling out. Still none the wiser as to what it was all about.

meddie · 06/12/2018 21:40

She keylogged my email password when I used her PC and used it to access my email and contact my ex.

Kernowgal · 06/12/2018 21:42

We worked together (her as my supervisor), got on really well for a while. She had some MH issues and her behaviour got more and more erratic. She started turning up at work still drunk from the night before. She would tell anyone who listened that she was going to leave, but she stayed put, rarely doing any work.

I eventually left because I couldn't take her behaviour any longer. She handed in her notice a week after I did - I could have cheerfully slapped her.

She eventually got hauled in front of the chief exec for some appalling behaviour on her last day, but it was too little too late. I moved far, far away and she later got in touch to say she was going for a job near my new location and suggested we meet up. I didn't reply, deleted her and blocked her on social media and never looked back.

We now live fairly close to each other but I've not bumped into her yet. I dread the day I do - I will be civil but nothing more.

Novasglow · 06/12/2018 21:49

Because I wouldn't let him sleep with me.
More than ten years down the pan.
I regret nothing.

nevisbump · 06/12/2018 21:52

She talked about everyone and shared secrets and passed comments on everyone's personal life. She then said she hoped my relationship would fail. Took me too long to see how nasty she was.

Another was because she would ignore me in public but would text me for hours. Also liked passing comments on my life and how hers is so much better

DancingintheSpoonlight · 06/12/2018 21:53

Went from being the slightly older, wiser friend to coming across as constantly telling me what I should do, how I should be, making me feel stupid. We'd gone through a similar experience at a similar time and she'd fared much better but still felt I should have felt how she did. Exhausting.

Oh and competitive parenting. Urgh.

I miss her in several ways but for my own MH had to back away.

BorisAndDoris · 06/12/2018 21:53

She kept ghosting me. She would get back in touch after a year or two and then ghost me again within a few months. No problems, no issues or fallout and no me annoying her or anything. She just refused to answer me one day and that would be it. It hurt like a bitch every time.

Every now and then she tries again so she remains off my friends list and a text is responded to with a "who dis?" From me 😂

nomorearsingmermaids · 06/12/2018 21:55

Because she was incredibly controlling and needy. After I'd just split with my boyfriend of four years because I found out he was cheating on me I sunk into a huge depression and just needed space and time to wallow on my own. She once called me and I texted her saying I really didn't feel up to talking and she got all offended. Friendship never really recovered. She wanted to chat on the phone several times a week like we did when we were teenagers.

I do feel a bit bad about it still because her heart was in the right place but she was just too domineering.

nomorearsingmermaids · 06/12/2018 21:55

Went from being the slightly older, wiser friend to coming across as constantly telling me what I should do, how I should be, making me feel stupid.

Oh yes, that sound exactly like my own former friend.

ForAMinuteThere · 06/12/2018 21:55

One was newly single and became an absolute nightmare, drugs infront of my child, seriously dodgy men, endangering herself, etc. Totally changed. Tried to tell her and ask what was going on but she said no-one else was bothered. That was that.

Another with a child that I would describe as an emerging sociopath decided my child was the problem. Genuine shock at that one, when she had actually described the child as evil and hates them, they have no redeeming qualities, etc etc. I actually fear for him and have thought about reporting the situation.

cafenoirbiscuit · 06/12/2018 22:01

I drove her 6 hours to a friend’s funeral, while I unknowingly had pneumonia. She promptly dumped me in the cold and rain when we were there, and then spent the night with her ex. My night alone in the hotel, coughing and vomiting and having stress inco because of it is something I still remember and shudder about.

IHeartKingThistle · 06/12/2018 22:18

Because her child made up a lie about me and she didn't even check with me before believing it. Still hurts.

OliviaStabler · 06/12/2018 22:22
  • Could never admit they were wrong
  • Unable to take on feedback and grow in general
  • A ball of anger
  • Repeatedly lied to me
Pebblesandfriends · 06/12/2018 22:25

She was extremely rude to my DH to be ( and me by default) 6 months before our wedding. I called her out and she left. When we next spoke I thought she was going to apologise but instead she told me she'd been discussing our relationship with her 'friends' (not people I knew) and they'd decided I was being abused. I'm still not sure what brought this on, but I know they are different people and she didn't approve of marriage, she thought it was weird that I wanted to be married and that I was far too young (at over 30). Anyway when it was clear she wasn't going to apologise to us I cut contact. If she couldn't be happy for me then that says a lot. I am however perfectly happy with my DH, and don't regret making her an ex friend for a minute.

FrangipaniBlue · 06/12/2018 22:26

Her husband committed fraud against members of my family and circle of friends, it came to light there are others and it amounted to £000's.

At one point he even tried to implicate me with the police and told them I had a vendetta against him. Not only did she believe his lies she actively covered for him and enabled him to skip bail and leave the country.

They're now living it up together abroad no doubt initially funded by the money he stole.

She was one of my best friends and we haven't spoken in 2 years. I do miss her, but can never forgive her.

Maelstrop · 06/12/2018 22:30

She shagged the guy I was in love with. Previously, I travelled back 3 hours to the shared house when she had a boyfriend crisis, she was fine when I got there. I'm a mug.

Another refused to speak to me when I asked her not to phone at stupid o'clock when the dh was on late shift and had just got to sleep.

SnowyPaws5 · 06/12/2018 22:31

I was going through a really horrible time with a horrendous and extremely visible skin condition. When my condition first started, a friend of a friend said to me 'your blusher looks nice', said friend sneered knowing very well that it wasn't blusher. This 'friend' would upload group photos of our group to social media knowing that I was privately battling my condition and it was difficult for me to be socialising, never mind being given a constant reminder of what I looked like every time I went onto Facebook. Looking back, I know she enjoyed uploading photos of us because she was very insecure and it made her look more attractive stood next to me. I asked her to stop uploading photos of me and delete the ones she'd uploaded as I was starting a new job and my condition could be covered up at this point. She was clever and tried to spin me a line about how the pictures were good memories, knowing exactly how I felt. I was still in a dark place. She never deleted all of them. It was the final straw for me when she again uploaded yet more photos of me.

I'll never get over how someone could be so cruel. She was never truly a friend of mine.

hotstepper4 · 06/12/2018 22:33

She had an abortion at 20 weeks despite knowing she was pregnant since 8 weeks. She was in denial. Then suddenly woke up and decided she didn't want baby. She was granted a late abortion on mental health grounds despite us pleading with her to have the baby adopted. I'm pro choice between 6 up to 12 weeks but I'm sorry, to me she killed that baby. I couldn't look at her again.

Zampa · 06/12/2018 22:38

I think your former friend is probably glad to have you out of her life @hotstepper4. You sound a delight, dropping friends with mental health issues.

AnneTwackie · 06/12/2018 22:40

I don’t know and it hurts

hotstepper4 · 06/12/2018 22:48

She could have had the baby adopted. He was healthy, and fully formed. I even said I would raise him for her. She had 12 weeks to make a choice but she kept dithering. I know she was ill but I can't change how I feel and from what I know, she now deeply regrets her decision, as everyone who cared about her knew she would.

ajw88 · 06/12/2018 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Grammarist · 06/12/2018 23:03

She turned out to be an incredibly entitled and selfish piece of work who ghosted me as soon as I got pregnant because it suddenly wasn't all about her anymore. I don't think she liked that I wasn't going to be as available.