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Original poster

Why is your friend now an ex friend?

205 replies

Callmedarcy · 06/12/2018 18:41

Mine is an ex friend because

  • she borrowed money that she never paid back
  • she was only around when she had problems. Vanished when I did.
OP posts:
GreenMeerkat · 06/12/2018 23:05

he now deeply regrets her decision, as everyone who cared about her knew she would.

Well you clearly didn't care about her.

Wonder if she's on this thread posting about you....

GreenMeerkat · 06/12/2018 23:07

Also, as an FYI, babies are not fully formed at 20 weeks and would not survive outside the womb.

Theperfectchangeling · 06/12/2018 23:07

hotstepper. I think you did her a favour, “who needs enemies” etc... Confused

purplepigs · 06/12/2018 23:10

When we saw each other it was always all about her.
She was seeing a married man who he was never going to leave and she didn't like me telling her the truth.

She was delusional
P.S He is still with his wife 4 years on !

Fool

HollySwift · 06/12/2018 23:18

I can’t bear her abusive husband and their benefit fraud and tax evasion. (Yes I DO know).

Springmachine · 06/12/2018 23:19

She wasn't there for me when I left abusive exh.
Didn't bother to see me at all and then I found out she and her husband were meeting up with my exh.

Another friend just recently had major falling out with another friend and wanted me to do the same but I didn't understand any of it and I gave her a chance to explain and she couldn't

duckthisshit · 06/12/2018 23:28

After knowing her for most of my life I came to realise what a petty, spiteful bitch she was.

TTCI · 06/12/2018 23:29

@hotstepper4 I agree with you.

WaterBird · 06/12/2018 23:33

I'm so sorry you all had such tforible friends.
Mine:
Because he accused me of flirting with him by text when I most definitely was not.
Because after I had an anxiety attack about going out late at night, he still went ahead out, while others stayed to make sure I was OK (turns out that the majority hadn't even wanted to go out anyway).
Because he sees absolutely nothing wrong with my ex-boyfriend. True, ex was a charmer, but there was still a LOT of evidence pointing to the fact that he is not a good person.
And finally, because I found his lack of assertiveness really, really frustrating. He lead a small hobby group I was in and if there was ever a conflict, he would usually either just watch while the two (or more) people in question sorted it out, or he'd change the subject to something really trivial.

Ditto66 · 06/12/2018 23:34

Because I discovered that she was a narcissist. At first she adored and love-bombed me. Then in the process of devaluing me she became constantly critical, taking a harsh interpretation of pretty much everything I said - became tedious but I kept with it as she had been an amazing friend - supporting me through a very tough period. Though she made a lot of that and got a lot of attention from others for it (I realised this after when the narc pattern was clear - I was a prop).

The final straw was when it became clear that she was prepared to really hurt me, professionally and financially - almost did but I was able to stop it.
Scary. I keep my distance now. Never trust anyone who's over the top in friendship or love.

U2HasTheEdge · 06/12/2018 23:36

Because she and her son ended up harassing us. It's a long story. I did fuck all wrong to her. They made our lives hell.

We were best friends since we were at first school and we lived in the same bloody street (on purpose). She got up the arse when I moved in my now husband and it turned into a full scale witch hunt. The police were useless so we eventually moved.

It hurt like hell. I had done so much for her. I loved her. I knew she had an arsehole side to her but I underestimated how cruel she could be and I never believed that she could turn on me and allow her son to join in and extend the bullying to my children.

It was completely bizarre and it was a very dark period in our lives. I still don't understand why she turned so cruel. It wasn't even as if I stopped seeing her as much when DH came onto the scene, but it must have been related to that because she started to make up a fake boyfriend. Completely bonkers but it was awful to live through. We got to the stage where we were having panic attacks going outside. I won't go into what they did but it was just horrendous.

Haze0215 · 06/12/2018 23:37

An ex friend living on benefits messaged me saying I was such a bad friend and mother because I had no holidays left to book at work so I couldn't book the day off in December to go to her daughters birthday party.

I work in retail and it is extremely hard to get time off with it being the Christmas month.
I am extremely sorry that I am a mother who works to support herself and her child Grin

She is now an ex friend and that is what she'll stay!!

ClandestineAdulation · 06/12/2018 23:40

She started an online relationship with someone who was underage (and in a different country!) and couldn’t understand why I wasn’t okay with it. I told her she needed to end it as it was wrong and she ghosted me, then claimed we fell apart. They’re married now, but that’s besides the point.

WaterBird · 06/12/2018 23:40

@Ditto66
My ex-boyfriend was a male version of your friend. You are so much better without her. NEVER fall for that "I miss you" crap. It's just another way to mess with you.

Ditto66 · 06/12/2018 23:46

@WaterBird I've never had a narc BF or DP thank god. A 'friend' was very hard, but a BF would be utter hell. Thanks

WaterBird · 06/12/2018 23:54

@Ditto66
Yes, thank God. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

darkriver198868 · 07/12/2018 00:06

Because it was all about her. In the end she was just so toxic. She would cancel at the last minute and was never really there when things were difficult for me.

Sillybilly1234 · 07/12/2018 00:14

Kept saying she would meet me then not turn up.

Last time she was supposed to stay at my house then meet up with old friends in town. She didn't turn up or call to cancel. I tried all sorts of ways to check she was ok or still coming and got no reply. Felt like an idiot in front of other friends as she was my best friend in school who was visiting after emigrating and was really looking forward to seeing her.

Found out from her dad that some guy she went to uni with turned up and she went out with him.

Felt even more annoyed as I had had to clear out the spare room for her to stay and it had taken ages but had thought it would be worth it.

I was such a fool. Never again.

NotSoFlatStanley · 07/12/2018 00:19

When she didn’t give a shit after my sister killed herself.

Piebeansandchips · 07/12/2018 00:32

My father died unexpectedly and on the day of the funeral my so called friend of 5 years and colleague texted to say she knew "it was a difficult time for me" but as it was my week for treats etc in the office, she'd bought them for me and could I PayPal her the money ASAP.
I was then signed off sick and used the time to find another job, blocked her from everything and haven't seen or heard from her since.

SneakyGremlinsBrokeTheSleigh · 07/12/2018 00:43

I have no idea.

Best friends through GCSE, sixth form and first year of uni - then this time last year she ghosts me out of the blue. I keep messaging her as she keeps unblocking me to read my messages. Eventually get a reply back saying that I'm, quote, "distant, judgemental and nasty". And always have been and if I look back at our conversation I'll see what she means.

Nope, no clue. Although having just read it back I see she actually started being distant before she ghosted me but hey ho..

Interestingly I'm back on Facebook and she hasn't unfriended me on that, and she's seen one of my stories so knows I'm back on. Yet she still hasn't unfriended me.

Botanica · 07/12/2018 07:06

Because she treated me like shit when I miscarried at 12 weeks.

She was pregnant too and showed zero empathy, just pure selfishness.

It's sadly irreparable, after a 20 year friendship.

Ohdobakeoffdear · 07/12/2018 07:16

Because when I was pregnant she said she couldn’t imagine me being a mother. For context, she was referring to my partying, drinking and smoking and general immaturity. I was really hurt by this. She also borrowed money on many occasions and never gave it back. Not massive sums but it all adds up, doesn’t it?
Looking back at it, I feel she liked using me to feel better about herself. She was the grown up with her life sorted, husband, house, children. I was the party girl wasting my life. Once I met DP and later fell pregnant, I changed my lifestyle and she started being a bit nippy with me.

pippop1317 · 07/12/2018 08:13

Completely cut me off as I was the only one who knew she was having an affair.
She use to go out all night and return at 5am after spending all night with the lover. Leaving her 3 kids with anyone who's have them. As current boyfriend wasn't the kids dad.

Mulberry72 · 07/12/2018 09:12

She used her position in a local sports club to cause trouble for DS after he fell out with her DS at school (all fairly silly stuff but her DS was proved by the HOY to have lied).

It was just so obvious what she’d done, pathetic really. Just showed her true colours and we’re far better off without her in our lives.

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