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Original poster

Why is your friend now an ex friend?

205 replies

Callmedarcy · 06/12/2018 18:41

Mine is an ex friend because

  • she borrowed money that she never paid back
  • she was only around when she had problems. Vanished when I did.
OP posts:
StarringRole · 07/12/2018 09:41

Because I got pregnant(friends with benefits, yes I know I should t have, but I had the implant in, I was young, lonely and really liked him so hoped he would one day like me back), when I told him he put the phone down and text me ‘get rid of the cunt’ no offer of talking, no support, text a few weeks later to ask ‘is it done? If it is do you want me to come rounds I’m horny’ never spoke to him again, it very quickly made me no longer like him.

Chocolatebourbons · 07/12/2018 10:21

Because it was all about her and she turned out to be a selfish, two faced narcissist. I didn't realise until it was too late and always thought she was a lovely sweet friend, although alarm bells were ringing when it became clear she could never hold down a job for more than a month or a man for more than one or two dates. Always falling out with other friends and slagging them off to me.
No sympathy or understanding at all during a bereavement. When I met her in town for coffee a few days later she wanted to stay in the cafe even though they were playing Christmas music in late October, and then wanted to go to Ann Summers.
Then she got a new job working for important people and started talking down to me like she too was one.

The other ex friend is such after rubbing my infertilty in my face and stealing from my house. We willingly used to let her and her brood and DH visit for weekends etc, but my belongings going missing was the last straw. She didn't deny taking them -
said it was a mistake as she thought said items were hers - but got very defensive when I asked her to return them. Never did recieve them back.

SunburstsOrMarbleHalls · 07/12/2018 10:52

She just assumed that I would be her free or very cheap childminder when she found out she was pregnant. This was news to me and I actually didn't want to to be responsible for another persons newborn baby and be tied to any kind of permanent arrangement 4 or 5 days per week. It was very awkward the last time she visited as I told her it would work for me and the rest of the night was forced pleasantries.

I was 28 and going through a difficult long divorce and was out of work due to leaving my husband the previous year who I worked with, I had a 3 year old and 9 year old. However I had always planned on returning to work (and I did) when my youngest started school but she had not even considered that.

I also realised sadly that I really didn't have that much in common with her anymore. We had lots of fun times as teenagers and had some great adventures but as the nights out dwindled and life evolved it became apparent we had no shared interests and it was familiarity and habit that kept us bonded. We would spend a lot of conversations talking about are past as we struggled to find common ground in the present. I had two children had been married and was going through a horrible drawn out divorce and had just met a new partner that she wasn't keen on as he was grown up and serious Confused

I never phoned her and she never phoned me so the friendship just ended. Then 18 month later I saw her in a shop when I had an working interview, she blanked me and told the other staff she was surprised to see me working as I was workshy! I was so hurt and angry and was glad we were not friends anymore, thankfully when I explained the situation to my boss I still got the job.

SunburstsOrMarbleHalls · 07/12/2018 10:53

It wouldn't work for me.

JustMarriedAndLovingIt · 07/12/2018 12:07

She cut me off. Basically called me an uneducated scrounger. Basically didn’t like my political views and when I was a single parent I claimed benefits (whilst working I might add)

CarlGrimesMissingEye · 07/12/2018 13:06

Because every time we met it was always always about her, her problems, her situation and never even 5 mins for any thought about me.

Another said I disappeared after I had a kid. But despite making lunch dates she kept changing. Until once I chased and was told she had decided to take her dog for a walk instead of meet me. So I gave up.

DammitOedipus · 07/12/2018 13:30

She falsely accused my husband of attempted rape. The "incident" was witnessed by four others, all of whom said that my husband told her she was beautiful and drunkenly passed out on the floor.

I don't tolerate false accusations - it takes away so much from actual victims. And my husband? Wouldn't dream of doing anything without consent, and fell into a 5-month depression after the false accusations from someone he thought was one of his best friends.

Picklypickles · 07/12/2018 14:57

Because every time we have made plans to meet up/go out over the past few years she has always cancelled with a shitty excuse at the last minute. I understand that life is busy, things get in the way etc but there seemed to be more to it than that. I could see on facebook quite regularly that she has plenty of time to socialise with other friends (the ones she apparently never really liked and used to slag off all the time when we were younger). The final straw was seeing her having lovely days out with the nasty cunt who bullied me throughout my childhood, and who also apparently held my friend down whilst her brother raped her. So either my "friend" is perfectly happy to be besties with someone who held her down and laughed whilst she was raped, or said rape never happened and she made the whole thing up as a way of getting attention/sympathy from the people she told about it. Either way its all a bit Jeremy Kyle for me!

KingJeremytheWicked · 07/12/2018 15:04

After I'd trusted her to live in and look after my father's house in another city when he had to move into a nursing home and she needed somewhere to go to get away from an abusive family situation, she found excuse after excuse to stop me going over to visit/collect his things. It eventually transpired that she had turned the entire upper floor into a cannabis farm.

GandolfBold · 07/12/2018 15:41

I changed jobs and was no longer able to look after her DD once a week. She used to be at mine all the time and our DD's were super close. It's also probably to do with her becoming more financially secure and not needing to borrow £££ any more.

She kind of ghosted me, we would make arrangements for playdates and she would always cancel. Its sad because DD has been really affected.

pumpastrotter · 07/12/2018 15:58

One shagged my boyfriend at the time, literally caught them in the act.

One was filled with drama, everything was never easy with her and it was very draining. She completely screwed over her bf and was really unnecessarily nasty about it but expected us to support her campaign and her having robbed him. She was incredibly manipulative and a huge user.

Best friend from childhood decided to shit on us group of friends for over a year when she kept choosing the next sugar daddy over us, when we did an 'intervention' for it she allowed her latest cash point (who turned out to be a con-artist) threaten us all and then cut us all off - we never bothered with her again and now she's a born again 'christian' who very vocally supports the EDL and other gammon groups..can't say we would want her back even if she grovelled (she woouldn't, she drunkenly messaged one friend saying it's a shame we had all fell out over 'something stupid')

The older I get the less tolerant I am of shitty people. After the shagging incident^ I don't give people the benefit of the doubt if they're horrible to other people but 'nice to me'.

dustarr73 · 07/12/2018 16:29
  1. Was always cancelling or trying to meet you when she had arranged to meet someone else earlier or later.Always felt like a stand in.
2.Ghosted me,,left me sitting in McDonalds with a 4 month old on a freezing cold day.Thought something had happened to her.Rang her when i got home.Then the penny dropped.The signs where there.

That was 7 years ago,i miss her.But I find it hard to trust people now.

pumpkinpie01 · 07/12/2018 16:41

Constantly cancelling plans at the last minute, not answer phone for weeks on end then act as if I was being unreasonable for wondering what was up. Sorted her out with a house after she was made homeless (my ex husbands) no deposit for her. She was eventually evicted after paying no rent for a year, stripped the house of everything.

citiesofbismuth · 07/12/2018 18:41

Borrowed money from me, but never repaid it.

Stole from me.

Lied to me.

Used me.

Another friend used to shout at me and belittle me in front of people. I used to help her out as well.

OJSquash · 07/12/2018 19:02

Tried for a baby with her partner for 6 months. Caught on pregnant and then found out that her most recent ex had split up with his new gf (she still loved him) so went and had an abortion at 23 weeks, lied about it faked a miscarriage and broke her partners heart. Split up with him continued the lie and was caught out by a hospital letter delivered to his house.
The ex didn't even want her anyway so she was left alone, partnerless, childless and friendless.
She lied to me for months when she was meant to be my best friend. I understand people need to terminate pregnancies at times but not when you have purposefully tried to conceive, you are more than halfway through the pregnancy and then you just change your mind because you feel like it.
I've never spoken a word to her since.

TheMagician · 08/12/2018 09:18

How judgemental

TTCI · 09/12/2018 18:20

@OJSquash that is awful :(

WilburforceRaven · 09/12/2018 18:23

She was flakey, always cancelling at the last minute. Got sick of it and just stopped inviting her anywhere.

Poster65 · 09/12/2018 18:28

I fell head over heels in love with her OH. Awkward
she was best off without you both then @Ilovealexa

FlamingGoat · 09/12/2018 18:41

My Mum died in August. Two friends have never bothered to get in touch after I told them.

Yoghurty · 09/12/2018 18:43

She made me complicit in an affair that she was having by telling her husband she was with me. I didn't know about the affair. She lied to me repeatedly- about things that weren't worth lying about- just made me mistrust her.

She then cancelled last minute repeatedly on me for the OM and believed him over me on a small, trivial matter (us- known each other 10 years- him- less than a year).

That was the last straw and made me realise that our friendship was not what I thought it was!

FoofFighter · 09/12/2018 18:48

It was all about her. I felt that my problems didn't matter (and not trifling piddly ones but big ones like domestic abuse and homelessness!). We only really talked about her.

I put up with it for months but then she failed to turn up for planned meetings, ( or cancelled at last minute when I was already there) one too many times and I just had enough. We did have a frank conversation over text during which she said some brutal and untrue things, and we then attempted to carry on but it was too awkward. Sometimes see each other around and say hello and polite chit chat but that's all.

AllStar14 · 09/12/2018 18:48
  1. Two days after my mum died ex friend called me to moan about her ex and didn't once ask how I was. That's the only reason she ever called and that was the last time I spoke to her.
  2. Told me I couldn't be her bridesmaid anymore because she didn't like a tattoo I'd had done.
Stufftheturkeysholewithholly · 09/12/2018 19:19

One of them ghosted me. We had been very close friends for over 5 years. She just honest to goodness stopped talking to me. My kids were devastated as her and my kids did everything together but she stopped them seeing each other too. I did ask if she could just tell me what happened but I got silence. I was very hurt for about 18 months to be honest but I am well over it now.

The upside of losing that friend was that her 'bestie' who is a compulsive liar and complete fake of a person also left my life. We had become close too (i met them both at the same time but I had my own close friends so was not as close to these girls) but she used me when she needed someone to mind her absolute brat of a kid, bitched about the other one to me when she ghosted me and lied about why she needed me to babysit which she got ready to go to the ghosting friends birthday party!!!!!!! She then of course turned it all around on me but I have since heard by pretty much everyone who ever came into contact with her that she is a toxic narcissist and a total user. I have never known anyone to meet and discard 'friends' as often as this one. She didnt hurt me, she just sickened me.

To this day though I would like to know why the first one ghosted me though, just for info reasons at this stage!

IJustLostTheGame · 09/12/2018 19:36

She moved out after not paying any of her rent or bills for months.
Then she tried to sue me for all the money SHE owed as she had gone around telling everyone it was me that hadn't paid.
Then when I called her out on it she told me she was in hospital with cancer (She wasn't)
I wrote her and the experience off together.
She was a pathologically lying nutter and I didn't miss her when she'd gone.