The worst nightclub you've ever been to?

[Xuli]

Ziggys, York c.1999. An old Regency townhouse that you would swear was still lived in. Sofas, scatter cushions, and chintz wallpaper on the walls - chintz wallpaper that actually started sweating by 10pm. The main dance floor was down in the basement with only one narrow staircase for access and which must have breached every single health and safety law known to man.

We only kept going because it was two WKD's for £1.50 on student night.

Joanna's in Portsmouth. It was a right of passage to go at least once and dance on the sticky carpet. Sadly now a luxury development for oldies.

Tubes in Melton Mowbray circa 2000. Just grim! Scary how many formative experiences I had in that club!

Ziggys was proper crusty, there was sweat pouring down the walls. Toffs was marginally better. Silks was the best of a very bad bunch.

The blue angel aka the Razz was and still is a dive ( with good music) but forgiven because I met DH there 23 and a bit years ago.

Club 92. Anyone from South Dublin will know where it is. I can still smell the feet. The hotdogs at kicking out time were epic though.

Tubes in Melton Mowbray! Also crystals in Leicester

Ziggy's 1990 - unless it was He La Hu night run by Big Ross with his mop of red curls from Derwent! 😬

I knew someone would say Batchwood. It was a staple of my weekend in my early 20s, and stupidly I agreed to go there for a birthday in my 30s. It’s just sooooo cheesy and trying too hard to be classy, so it’s not fun. Also it absolutely reeked of furniture polish which triggered my allergies and I had a horrible chemically taste in my throat the next day.

There must have been many Joanna's and Toffs because I'm in South London/Kent and I went to those places down here.

Best place in my neck of the woods was T's. Sticky carpet and everything. And Flamigo's. It was in a garrison town and full of squaddies. Man, that was rough.

Mud in Bognor was a death trap, all upstairs above a chippy, so many floors and different rooms..... still better than Sheiks on the pier 

Cinderella in Cambridge 1990. Very sticky carpets and toilets that rarely flushed.

What was The Sportsman, in Bishop Auckland 10-13 years ago.

"Cocktails" (blue wkd, cheap vodka, lemonade) served in sandcastle buckets. Loos with only one broken sink and filled with people doing lines of coke, bad smells, worse music, and a very sticky floor.

My God, it was dire, but we were 14 and they didn't ask us for ID. We thought we were amazing not so much in retrospect

Ziggys was ace! Well it was shit but after enough smirnoff ice it had a certain charm. God I wish I was 16 18 again :)

Winkers in Chalfont St Peter.

Christ alive. It still haunts me now. We went through a phase of going a few times a month as there wasn't much alternative...

I'll add Gullies in Grimsby too.

Deathtrap stairs and very questionable clientele.

Oh God, Legends! I mean, who doesn't want a night out in a trading estate, with a £1.50 pint of snake bite?

Cream was a total dingy dive. I had a lot of good nights there, but it was grim. Or should I say Nation.

Ziggy's! I was there in the mid/late 90's. It put me off clubs for life!!
Sweat everywhere, walls,people,floor like a swamp.

tectonicplates I did go inside the Hippodrome in the late 90's and your description is accurate

The Cabin in Liverpool had a certain charm but as the OP said, trying to get out in an emergency would have been tricky.

I went to the Hippodrome in Leicester Square in the 90's @tectonic plates. We went as part of a party bus tour.

It was terrible. Full of sleazy guys from other European countries who would not leave you alone and euro pop trashy music. It was grim.

I also give you the upstairs bar in Bojanglez in Guildford. Sweat used to pour from the ceiling an the toilets were always flooded. It was so awful we went most weekends

Anyone from Ayrshire who remembers Pebbles in Troon? The floor actually fell through, am sure it was just a house that has been 'converted' into a club!

Bongo in Middlesbrough, had to step over someone who had been glassed on the way in- security wouldnt let us help him, fight was still going on inside- people not involved in the fight were minding their own at the tables and just fucking if things came flying towards them. Rough as a badgers arse!

Oh god, definitely the Hippodrome in Leicester square. Went in 2002/2003 and full of European tourists. Men were so sleazy and one even pissed on the dancefloor whilst we were all dancing.

Time in basildon late 90s. For when you couldn't get in to Raquels.

Squallors in Coventry.
Okay, I believe it’s called scholars (that’s a joke!) but seriously rank.
Embarrassingly, it was quite recently I visited
Men to women ratio - 17284832:3, walked to the toilet and a bloke said “ooh, you’ve just brushed past my MASSIVE ERECTION
Just left and got a cab.
Hideous place, and I had a truly terribly tacky renowned nightclub in my hometown which I’m expecting will make an appearance on this thread