Amusing typos you have commited/seen!

[ContessasGulagSpaDay]

I just tried to type 'acute bleeding' but somehow entered 'acute bellend' dying here, on my own, in my home office

It's been done before, but it's Friday and I'm in a good mood. Tell me of your typos!

Close to roald Dahl day I sent a text to a friend about Willy wonka. Not a spelling error but it auto corrected to Willy wanker.

In a Christmas carol sheet with 'While Shepherds Watched'... (I think I may have posted this before a long time ago, but try to sing and look like you are not laughing at the same time):
'Thus spake the seraph, and forthwith
Appeared a shining thong'

Oh dear Random

Surely shining thongs are sent down from On High as standard, Ormally?

I guess it depends on your seraph...definitely must have livened up the shepherds

sent to a very conservative work colleague , "Get your willies out!" when I meant to say get your wellies out, as it was raining pretty badly. He didn't respond, nor did he bring his wellies!

For some reason my sisters name auto-corrects to Shitley. Considering she has IBS it's not altogether inappropriate!

Monkey to make you feel better I sent out an email to an entire department with the same autocorrect error.

It was many, many years ago and it still makes me blush.

Not quite a typo as such, but the mangling of text due to slightly automated word-swaps (to overcome obscenity filters) is quite funny.

For example in the US the word 'butt' is (apparently) seen as less rude than 'ass' leading software designers to put steps in place to help people convert instances of ass to butt, leading to The Clbuttic Mistake - an example being the buttbuttination of American presidents www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2667634/The-Clbuttic-Mistake-When-obscenity-filters-go-wrong.html

"The error is caused by poorly programmed anti-obscenity filters – similar to spell checkers – that automatically replace words considered rude or offensive with more acceptable variants. “Butt” replaces “ass”, “breast” is substituted for “tit”, and so on.

Rudimentary versions of this software do not just replace obscene words, but also alter longer words which contain banned letter combinations, so "assassination" becomes "buttbuttination", "passenger" becomes "pbuttenger", and "passerby" becomes "pbutterby".

The problem is fairly widespread; Google searches turn up 3,810 results for “clbuttic”, 5,120 for “consbreastution”, and 1,450 for “Buttociated Press”, a corruption of the US news agency the Associated Press."

Buttociated Press

JoBrodie that is fab! I had no idea

There was a similar overwrite on the early Conservative party blog/s I think, which refused to condone the existence of Scunthorpe and replaced the unacceptable sequence of letters with stars (possibly drawing more attention to this than much else could have achieved).

JoBrodie that is comical. This bi5 had me in stitches

The American Family Association had programmed its filter to replace the word “gay” with “homosexual”, causing an article about sprinter Tyson Gay’s triumph at the US Olympic trials to begin: “Tyson Homosexual was a blur in blue, sprinting 100 meters faster than anyone ever has."
Further on in the piece the runner was referred to as “the 25-year-old Homosexual”

Not me but the MD at a company I worked for signed off an email to all customers (and any potential customers)

"King retards"
Instead of "kind regards"

Hasty apology sent after attempts to recall the email

Ffs iPad, when did bi5 become acceptable for bit?

Oh the irony!

I once made a typo on a fairly serious thread where someone was complaining of headaches.

I suggested something, telling them “it’s worth taking a shit” instead of a shot

I messaged DH a few years ago telling him we were in Tits r us.

There was a thread here a while ago where “Malteasers” got autocorrected to “Maltese Refugees!”

BlueThursday that always helps me when I have a migraine tbf!!

Bloody Maltese refugees. Coming over here and hiding in our chocolate wrappers.

Text DH trying to say 'thanks my wonderful husband' and accidentally sent 'my wonderfuk husband'
He didn't mind! His new nickname is wonderfuk

My iPad always autocorrects my son’s name to earful. Makes me laugh every time.

My lovely friend had recently been diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour. As walking was getting progressively more difficult, he googled “assisted walking aids”. Except he didn’t, he actually googled “assisted wanking aids”

My friend lost a lot of weight and sent me a picture of her in a new little black dress - I sent some siren emojis 🚨🚨🚨 and in a separate message I put "You're so fit"

Only I didn't. And autocorrect sent "You're so fat" thank god she saw the funny side!

I once poster on an antenatal thread how i was really missing a nice big cock. I meant coke

There was a thread on here about anal fisting once (it was Friday ) and one poster wrote something like, "I wouldn't want a finger up there, let alone a Fiat." Still makes me snort now.