Amusing typos you have commited/seen!

[ContessasGulagSpaDay]

I just tried to type 'acute bleeding' but somehow entered 'acute bellend' dying here, on my own, in my home office

It's been done before, but it's Friday and I'm in a good mood. Tell me of your typos!

I texted dp the other day to say that since he'd be back late

"I'll give the kids a smack and then we can all have dinner later"

A poster on here once sent her dh a text saying there was anus anus for dinner. Her phone had helpfully corrected cous cous for her.

My favourite though remains the error in a briefing document I once received about housing in a particular area

"In Xtown, the majority of older people live until they die."

I was never able to establish what the minority did!

That reminds me, I once told a very small Ds to stop leaning out of his seat in the trolley OR YOU'LL GET HIT
I meant as we went round a corner or whatever but to the people around me it did sound like a threat

Instead of telling someone on a FB thread, I'm jealous (of her meal out), I announced, "I'm Jesus".

A homework task asking children to 'cunt in 2s'

A poster on here once sent her dh a text saying there was anus anus for dinner.

Takes all sorts I suppose

Except he didn’t, he actually googled “assisted wanking aids” - we all need an outlet ThreeLegged, even in illness I'm sorry about your friend.

I've just remembered the time I message DSis to say it was a year to the day since our mother had died. It wasn't until a while later that I realised I'd also hit the 'Thumbs up' button we never got on that well, which made it worse!! Thankfully DSis was more amused than anything else....

I once had to write a letter to a Mr Feldberg. Only autocorrect wanted me to write to Mr Fleabag.

I saw in the local paper years ago that Chitty Chitty Gang Bang was on at 3pm on BBC2 .

It didn't sound like family viewing to me.

Official communication in work talked about Booby Moore instead of Bobby Moore

Swiftly recalled but I was TOO QUICK!!!

I once text my dad to say il order a big taxi tonight and somehow ended up nearly sending il order a transvestite! I was a bit under the weather and wasn’t fully concentrating lol

Our local newspaper years ago had to publish an apology after an obituary said "In loving memory of a very dead dad...."

Wanted to say 'hi rita'

Auto correct to 'hi roast' instead

Problem was Rita didn't have a clue about auto correct and didn't use it so wouldn't have seen the funny side whatsoever

I called my uni supervisor Brain instead of Brian. He was well chuffed

These are great. My friend was coming over for dinner with her son Ben who was diabetes.

She asked if i needed anything or could she bring anything.

I said no, not unless Ben dies (meant to say 'does')

I fell when out running and broke a tooth and had a huge fat lip. I text a selfie to my friend along with the message fell, snake on my face instead of smack on my face.

My friend once texted to say what time her husband would be home but it autocorrected to 'DH gets good at 6pm!'

My childminder text me and asked if my children like slag Bol .

The home of our local authority, affectionately known as Cunty Hall, ever since I had to reprint a letter.

"Nerf gun" auto corrects on my phone to "need gin" .

Either that or my phone secretly knows the end result of nerf gun mania!

This has to be my favorite from Sky's TV planner a few years ago!

flowerythorns and what did she say to that?!

murree I do hope you recorded it to check it was a genuine typo

"Pubic service" instead of "public service".

A couple of years back the BBC subtitles called Darcey Bussell, Parsley Bussell.

I saw a lovely typo on the Guildford borough website discussing the need to keep areas maintained as smashed widows made the neighbourhood look a little downmarket. Still have a little mental picture of that one.