Amusing typos you have commited/seen!

[ContessasGulagSpaDay]

I just tried to type 'acute bleeding' but somehow entered 'acute bellend' dying here, on my own, in my home office

It's been done before, but it's Friday and I'm in a good mood. Tell me of your typos!

Worked with a guy called Angus which if your Microsoft outlook was set to the American version at the time (his was), resulted in him signing off all his emails as ‘Anus’!

It was a couple of days of calling home arsehole before he twigged! It was bloody hilarious!

Allegedly printed in a British local newspaper,

We apologise for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme is a Defective in the Police Force'. This was a typographical error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a Detective in the Police Farce.

My favourite is the American subtitlers not knowing how to spell Huddersfield, and spelled it "Hoodezfield" when Jodie Whittaker was on promoting Doctor Who.

My own typos are famous in my group of friends, the one that springs to mind was something about my DM and "creaming" instead of screaming

Kidney regards

To a blood testing company

Can't stop laughing at:
'Terrible. I am lying on the sofa with a gun.'
😂😂😂

'Dear Huge'
'poxy infection'
'Chronic Fatty Syndrome'

😂😂😂

My best friend from uni had her baby about a year before me, and sent me a helpful list of things I would need to buy. I emailed back asking “what exactly are Muslims for?”

She is muslim. Fairly observant, too. Thankfully she found it funny, but I still feel cringy just remembering it.

I also had a deeply unpleasant housemate called Angus, whose name used to autocorrect to Bogus. So “Dear Bogus, could you pick up some more milk”, etc.

I used to leave it uncorrected. I’d had six months of housemate horror beforehand, so was feeling fairly petty by that point.

TV dialogue "No popery!"
Subtitle "No potpourri!"

My iPhone once changed "I binned the banana" to "I bummed the banana" and the recipient of my text was quite surprised.

A friend of mine once wrote me a reference for a job in the library. She meant to say that I was good with the public, but missed out the l, leaving me as good with the pubic.....

“what exactly are Muslims for?”
Crying

At work we were once drafting a document to procure a batch of computer workstations. The procurement group met and found itself reading about the supply of porkstations. It still makes me chuckle.

I was reading something at work where one of my colleagues had tried to refer to Asperger's, had blindly accepted the spell check suggestions and so had written about someone having Asparagus.

I, on the other hand, have written about people being busty, not busy.

“what exactly are Muslims for?” I'm one of them and find that hilarious

Bumming a banana? Oo-er missus.

A few times I might have mentioned, by typing , that I had gone to have a look on Fiends Reunited , when it existed.

My mum messaged me that she was in costco do i want anything. I typed back please pick me up a large lenor. Which my phone autocorrected to " large penis" hahaha it still makes me laugh now !

A secretary once typed a letter claiming that my client had been pubicly humiliated in front of his colleagues.

And I once claimed to have seen Cannon and Ball in panties (panto!)

As well as offering DH a selection of vag with his dinner ...

I always hit B when I mean N because they're next to each other on the keyboard, hence signing off "Abba" when my name is Anna and wishing people "Good Afterboob."

Op come here so I can stuff you down my top

I work in a relevant area and regularly write about beastfeeding.

I can't actually remember what it was supposed to say but dh told me via text he was picking up some whores in Leeds once.
He wasn't. I hope.

I’ve posted this before, but years ago when I was preparing property details I managed to list one house as having a shite bathroom suite.

No one's added an old favourite

Surely I can not be the only one ever to have written A Daft Report

My worst ever typo was after a young woman my DD1 knows, committed suicide by hanging herself on a tree in the woods on her 18th brithday. My friend's DD1 had been staying with the young woman in question and so was very traumatised by the whole thing - obviously. It was an awful situation and we were all very upset.
On the day of the inquest my friend wanted to go and support the mother of the dead girl and so I agreed to look after her DD2 (aged 12), who came over to spend a day with my DD.

The following day she texted me to say thank you for her having her DD2 as it had enabled her to go and support her poor friend.

I meant to text back that it had been lovely 'having' her daughter, but the autocorrect changed it to read that it had been lovely 'hanging' her daughter. To say I was mortified is an understatement. Why did it autocorrect to that word on that particular day?

One I read online a while back:

I'd rather be pissed off, then pissed on.