Amusing typos you have commited/seen!

[ContessasGulagSpaDay]

I just tried to type 'acute bleeding' but somehow entered 'acute bellend' dying here, on my own, in my home office

It's been done before, but it's Friday and I'm in a good mood. Tell me of your typos!

It wasn't a typo, my MIL was expressing surprise about DH cooking and I was irritated. I said (and had no idea I'd said it) 'He does it regularly, he's an amazing cock'. There was a pause and DH said (amused) 'cook, love, I'm an amazing cook'.
MIL was also amused in a raised eyebrows and dry smile sort of way.

Once replied to an eBay buyer who was arranging a time to collect an item, to shit himself instead of suit himself. Oops.

I proof read a PhD thesis about “dilute water” once. The author did not speak English as a first language, and meant “distilled”. Fine. But he’d managed to get to PhD level without realising this mistake.

On another forum someone posted something sad and I left a heart emoji but it was next to the 😂 emoji which my chunky thumb clicked on and I posted it 😶

Cornucopia of naked women

I had an email from my boss telling me to go book a training update with IT.
Later I replied that I'd been to his office but it was shit.

In my first job in the early 80s, we were using stencils to type up something for a mass mailing (oh how archaic that seems now). The letter was about a compulsory purchase order before a new road was made. Instead of saying "there will be a public enquiry", I missed the "l" out and it said "pubic enquiry". Lovely! I was mortified. I can still remember the indignity of it all.

Not embarrassing, but I will forever remember that there are 2 Ss in Teesside after spending an afternoon stencilling title boxes on engineering drawings for the “Teeside” Development Corporation.

OMG I'm practically crying with laughter at some of these. Especially like the 'assisted wanking aids' 'Mr Fleabag' ones. .

My son had a letter from a consultant's office stating that he had Chronic Fatty Syndrome (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) . Ironically he was actually very slim.

I sent a text to a friend about some issues we'd been having with the school bus. I meant to text "I rang about the bus" but it auto corrected to "I sang about the cup".

My mum once wrote an article about a visit to a garden that was “...near the home of the late, great Bong Crosby!”

A while ago I was messaging with a friend on Facebook messenger about his mum’s possible Alzheimer’s and how worried he was. And I don’t know what I pressed or how, but in response I accidentally sent him an animated gif of some people twerking.

Luckily my friend saw the funny side...

I love a good typo/autocorrect thread! One of the few things these days to make me literally cry with laughter.

I have a client who frequently makes typos in emails. The most outstanding one was the one I got on Christmas Eve panicking that they hadn't received their 'dale boaters'. Took me a while to figure out they meant 'sale posters'!

Brilliant wombles :o. That's made me laugh

On another thread someone's just said that 20 years of contributions are not enough to earn you a full state penguin.

I want a full state penguin

Contessas I saw that one! I thought for while nobody was going to mention it

I once submitted a full essay about Lord of the Files. Lesson learned - proofread!!!

Ohhhh yes - I want a full state penguin too. It can keep the tiger cub that dh won’t let me have as a pet company.

Watching BBC News, and they mislabelled Kwasi Kwarteng MP (who definitely is a black man) as Kirsty Blackman MP (who is a white woman)....

Text to then husband "pick up some cock on your way home"

It was coal we needed.

My favourite was a few months ago. Was texting my mate about my dog and I can't remember why (I think i'd bought him a funny jumper or something) but i tried to type that he had 'no dignity left'. However, I accidentally typed 'dognity' and thought it was the most brilliant typo i'd ever made. My dog has no dognity.

Whilst working in a small but busy call team, I very quickly text my manager 'XX ain't shown for shit' I meant shift

My favourite BBC subtitle fail was the time it rendered Hugh Fearnley- Whittingstall as ‘Cue the family wedding stall’

I used to work in PR for a police force and we had some posters done saying (name of force) We’re Working For You. Unfortunately someone took the apostrophe out so they proudly proclaimed (name of force) Were Working For You. Of course, underneath people were writing things like But Now We Don't Give A Fuck.
And not a typo as such, but an embarrassing slip - after a brothel was discovered in a rather rural area, we issued an appeal for any residents who might have witnessed people coming or going. As a detective quipped when we belatedly realised, there were certainly plenty of people coming!