Amusing typos you have commited/seen!

[ContessasGulagSpaDay]

I just tried to type 'acute bleeding' but somehow entered 'acute bellend' dying here, on my own, in my home office

It's been done before, but it's Friday and I'm in a good mood. Tell me of your typos!

"Arggghhhhhhh" got changed to "Assert Gagging"

Our schools email virus checker thingy used to block emails we sent to the Local Authority as they “contained a profanity” - our contact there had the first name of Dick!

Someone once sent me the wrong email.
They later emailed to apologise and said

Sorry for any incontinence caused

Theo Paphitis to Theo Profiteroles.. I saw him in a pub near by and texted my mum... didn't have quite the impact! It was Peak dragons den era 😂

A few years ago now, but I still cringe. Vicar's wife had asked who could help count the Christian aid money the next day. I text the vicar intending to put " tell your wife I will do the count tomorrow" I actually put " tell your wife I will do the cunt tomorrow"
Poor bloke was quite alarmed I think

A few years ago I had to send a report to Ofsted. Instead of writing "I gave the children a snack" I actually put "I gave the children a SMACK".
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

At work, colleague was sending an email to an applicant for a job, who appeared to be from China! Colleague asked for details of their ‘wok experience’ instead of ‘work experience’ . Luckily noticed their error before sending the email! Pfffttt

As a graduate civ engineer “an epoxy injection” became “a poxy infection”.

Trying to arrange transport between s funeral and memorial service recently - “i’ll drive down, then we have transport between bevvies”. “Bevvies” should have been “venues”. I had a lot of backtracking to do there!

I used to have a colleague called Hugh who was quite overweight.

The girl across the office from me used to start every email to him with "Dear Huge". She was so embarrassed when it was pointed out.

Poor Huge.

Years ago I was in Dartmouth texting a friend who was coming to join me the following day. I told her what a nice time I was having and that I'd just had a crab sandwich. Except actually I told her (thank you autocorrect) I'd eaten an Arab sandwich.

Just recalled one of my other medical secretarial bloopers....”patient is sexually active and claims she is on the pull” Pill....it should have read ....😳

DH emailed boss to ask for dress code to Christmas party I.e. "is it formal or would jeans and a smart shit be okay?"

Not a typo but the subtitles on the weather forecast on itv tonight said "then the clowns will move him" 😂😂 was then corrected to then the clouds will move in, I preferred the first version

"There are no scared cows"

SACRED. SACRED COWS.

”patient is sexually active and claims she is on the pull” Pill....it should have read ....😳

This is my favourite so far

On a Philosophy/Religion thread i typed Allan. Oops.

There was a thread about a woman who had enjoyed a romantic evening of fisting. Someone had replied but writing something about not understanding the attraction of someone having a ‘fiat put up themselves’

It was a pretty hilarious thread before the mis spelling

Love the scared cows. And dear huge... Mortified!

Have posted this before but l campaigned against a local pet shop and their puppy farming 'suppliers' many years ago and wrote a letter to several dog publications saying that we really need to raise 'pubic awareness' on puppy farming etc.
Only one published it and apparently had a proof reader much to my relief.

Bunnyhop l was once called rude and incontinent by an irate and very posh lady caller in my former life as a BT operator. I was neither actually, she just clearly wasn't used to being refused (wanted a free call basically)

Do the cunt tomorrow

Mine was orgasm instead of organism in class and then I once emailed my boss saying

Love you x

At the end forgetting who I was emailing because I'd just started working from home.

Marking first year criminal law essays, I was quite amused by the student who wrote penile institutions throughout their entire essay.

This was in the days of handwritten essays.

I've text my husband asking him to get the willies out before 😂
Also one on her a few years ago discussing contraception. I typed mirena but my phone corrected it to mittens and I didn't notice. Much hilarity ensued discussing the benefits of mittens as contraception!

Not a misspelling as such, but I sent a facebook invite to my friends for 'sunshine's birthday celebration cocktails'.. when the event reminder popped up before the event it was a bit too long so facebook truncated it to 'sunshine's birthday celebration cock'!!