Just asked DH to get a vasectomy

[prettymuchaceleb]

Here's to hoping he goes and gets one! His main concern is lasting pain long after the op(although I pointed out how I have had episiotomies and c sections and they had slight pain ) , any horror stories or is it mostly ok?
I'm hoping to rejuvenate our sex life somewhat also, after years of being on the blasted pill.

My DH was fine after his vasectomy, initially he took painkillers and he didn't climb over the thigh high front gate, he opened it and walked through for a few days. He also used a hair dryer to dry his bits after showering. Otherwise everything was fine and we haven't looked back.

it was pretty much the best thing that DH ever did

No pain after the first couple of days. He missed one weekend of sport then was back to the normal schedule the following weekend

It's not always the complete breeze it's made out to be, my dp got a nasty infection and had to be taken by ambulance to have it drained (he didn't phone for one, it was called for him before anyone starts!)
I'm sure it's mostly fine but has risks like all medical procedures. It has to be his informed decision.

My DH refused to have one, even when several of his friends did. When our children were 18 and 19 I got pregnant. He had one then to prevent number 4.
Feel free to tell your DH this cautionary tale.
DH is a complete wuss over anything medical but he was fine after a few days.

DH was fine until day 3 when he decided that he was fit enough to spend the whole day doing an activity that involved a lot of bouncing about. He had to stop an hour early (voluntary thing, where he was running an attraction) because he was going grey and sweating from the pain.

If your DH rests as instructed he should be okay.

Two weeks of aching.

Best thing we ever did for our sex life.

DH had significant pain for 2-3 weeks. Further lesser discomfort for another 3 weeks. Still less pain that that of 3 CS and one miscarriage.

I’ve asked mine too but clearly he’s not bothered about sex as he’s making no moves to book it, despite agreeing in principle.

My DP is booked in for tuesday... hopefully all will be well after.

One in ten men have a horror story.

That's the (evidence based and NHS published ) rate for the serious complications (it doesn't count anything treatable or which lasts under 3months).

It is his body and his choice.

I had one, local anaesthetic. No pain at the time, but some pain and swelling for the week after. No negatives thereafter.
I then had a reversal three year later. No pain or ill effects. Probably saved our marriage.

horror stories go as high as 15%.

Long lasting pain that cannot be treated even with further surgery.

His body his choice.

DH still has sporadic pain from his over 20 years later.

I have asked dp to consider one for my benefit. I have had countless crappy things happen to my body as a result of pregnancies (both wanted and unwanted) and it’s caused me a lot of problems.
He doesn’t want one.
Although it frustrates me, I do respect his decision even if Though i don’t like it.
Condoms are such a mood killer!!

Any decent partner worth his salt will make this choice in the context of a loving relationship, especially when they have watched their partner go through pregnancy and childbirth multiple times, and seen her bear the brunt of contraception for the entirely of their relationship.

I'm afraid I'm quite vocal about this, and believe any man than opts out, on the 'his body, his choice' basis, and thereby removes any 'choice' from the woman when it comes to avoiding pregnancy, is a bit of a failure.

If there is zero give and take at all, then such a man can rightly expect to be judged harshly.

And yes, I've been on many threads on this topic, including with what's-his-name who only ever appears on vasectomy threads, and my stance is as firm as ever.

DH was back to normal within a day or two after his.

You cannot take turns in childbirth, and it is simply not fair to expect that to somehow be a clincher of an argument. A woman does not have to conceive, or if that occurs by mischance, does not have to take the pregnancy to term, if she is disinclined to risk her body.

Partners can take turns at reversible contraception.

But the permanent surgical removal of fertility isn't part of that taking of turns.

Yes, the decision should ideally be made by two people working as a team.

But nobody, nobody at all, has the right to expect someone else to have elective surgery. This is a vital, and hard won, principle.

TheDowagerCuntess

I'm afraid I'm quite vocal about this, and believe any man than opts out, on the 'his body, his choice' basis, and thereby removes any 'choice' from the woman when it comes to avoiding pregnancy, is a bit of a failure.

Up until this point it has been her body her choice. and even if he says no to a vasectomy she can still say no to sex.

My dh is a huge wuss and complains about the tiniest pain.

He reckons it was fine, a dull ache for a couple of days but not enough to need painkillers and he drove himself home.

The cut is so tiny they don't even stitch it.

tell that to my brother he is one strong pain killers for the recurring pain he suffers from is vesterctomy it is not a painfree simply as its made out on here.

1 in 10 have long lasting untreatable pain for life as well as other permanent condistions.

2 out of 10 suffer long term pain pain for months that does disappear.

so 3 out of 10 have long term issues 1 in 10 have life long ones.

Is it harder then simply taking the bloody morning after pill if you dont want a baby?

My DH has had a vasectomy (before I met him) and a reversal! Both were pretty straight forward with about a week to 10 days of pain.

please please read up on it as previous poster said there can be lasting complications. The stats are very high 1 in 10 for lasting problems there are many success stories where it was the best thing they did . personlly I'm one of the one in ten had surgery to try not sort it but till not pain free won't put the full story on as last time someone asked and I did just got shot down saying try having a baby .Fair point but thats 9 months this is the rest of my life tell him to research form proper medical site and as the consultant not the doctors they are very dismissive of problems.

and even if he says no to a vasectomy she can still say no to sex.

And that is obviously a workable solution in a long-term relationship.

DH knew there were risks of some pain longer term (though 15% is highly disputed, in his opinion - I haven't really looked at the stats). But he decided he would rather take the slight risk of pain than never have PIV sex again, which was the other option, since I'd already got pregnant using condoms.

As it is, he had no problems at all from vasectomy.

He wore (my) leggings for a couple of days and felt a bit sorry for himself.
Now we are great, sex life has never been better and no fear!! Honestly the slight dread going has been a revelation. It’s the best thing we’ve done

My husband was totally fine with his.