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Original poster

Would a man not being able to drive, put you off dating him?

275 replies

CandiedPeach · 21/09/2018 19:04

A bit of a odd one and not something I’ve ever thought of before today. Went out for lunch and a catch up with friends and one who was dating someone she seemed really keen on, said she’d ended things because he couldn’t drive (no medical reasons why not) and wasn’t planning on learning. One friend was in agreement with her that she wouldn’t date a man who couldn’t drive the other thinks it’s a ridiculous reason to end things. I initially thought it seemed harsh and I can’t imagine a woman not driving would be a deal breaker for many men, I may be wrong though. But then I wouldn’t want to be the only driver in a couple. So thinking more about it, it probably would put me off someone.

OP posts:
ThatsWotSheSaid · 21/09/2018 19:05

It wouldn’t be a deal breaker but it’s a bit childish.

ClemClemFandango · 21/09/2018 19:06

It wouldn't make any difference at all to me if they could drive or not.

Theweasleytwins · 21/09/2018 19:07

I dated someone who couldnt drive but i could-ended up resenting him as he never paid parking or seemed at all gratelful.

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TomHardysNextWife · 21/09/2018 19:08

In honesty, yes it would bother me.

It's just a bit... odd.

IHaveBrilloHair · 21/09/2018 19:09

No, it wouldn't bother me at all.

anotherangel2 · 21/09/2018 19:11

I don’t know if it would be a deal breaker but it would be a negative.

waxy1 · 21/09/2018 19:11

A man ain’t a man, with a ticket in his hand.

LondonLassInTheCountry · 21/09/2018 19:12

People that judgemental deserve to be single!

CarcerDun · 21/09/2018 19:12

DH doesn't drive, never learnt and doesn't want to. I do the driving and it's doesn't bother me that much. Sometimes I think it'd be nice if he drove. But he does plenty of other stuff (including paying for petrol/parking) and we have an equal weight pulling relationship. He has never once asked me to drive him anywhere, he goes by bus unless he's with me, then I drive.

blaaake · 21/09/2018 19:12

Yes, it would bother me. It's a bit lazy not to learn when able to.

britespark1 · 21/09/2018 19:13

I was seeing someone several years ago but wasn’t overly keen anyway and I’m ashamed to say when he broke his leg and couldn’t drive the considerable distance to my place I called it all off.......

SlightAggrandising · 21/09/2018 19:13

It's odd and inconvenient. I'd find something weirdly infantile about a bloke who didn't want to drive.

Ooforfoxsakeridesagain · 21/09/2018 19:13

Yes not problem just for dating, but a serious relationship, with DCs, no.

helacells · 21/09/2018 19:14

Nope couldn't do it, I would end up doing all the driving, sod that

starsandstuff · 21/09/2018 19:14

I find it lazy and selfish. A friend of mine's husband doesn't drive (same, no physical reason, just refused to learn) and expects lifts which sometimes puts her out like if they're going to visit people she can't drink and he can. I wouldn't be having it.

tissuesosoft · 21/09/2018 19:14

I’m with someone who doesn’t drive (I don’t drive either)- we don’t have the need for a car (even with DD). Both work in London, live in zone 5. Much easier and cheaper to get the bus/train to places and use home deliveries for groceries

Singlenotsingle · 21/09/2018 19:15

I wouldn't want to be stuck with all the driving. There's something lazy and complacent about a person who can't and won't drive. And yes it would put me off.

ScreamingValenta · 21/09/2018 19:15

No. I don't drive, so I'd never stipulate it in a partner. I lived with a non-driver for several years and we just relied on public transport.

Wiggler1 · 21/09/2018 19:16

Yes absolutely, it’s not the not being able to drive itself, it’s what it says about them. I’m independent with a lot of drive (no pun intended!) and like to do things on the spur of the moment, someone who has to rely on public transport is not the person for me.

HoleyCoMoley · 21/09/2018 19:16

I wouldn't force a man to drive, it's his choice, I would do some of the driving but would expect to get petrol money and not be taken for granted. The rest of the time he can arrange taxis for both of us. If it's for long distances he can buy his own train tickets and split the hire car charges.

Ginger1982 · 21/09/2018 19:17

I find it odd. A girlfriend of mine has never learned to drive and I can't understand why not. She's completely limited to public transport. If my DH didn't drive it would make things difficult I think!

randomsabreuse · 21/09/2018 19:18

London based life no real need for car (including holiday choices) not a problem. Anywhere else - probably an issue because being the only driver sucks unless there is good late public transport...

ConsiderHerWaysAndOthers · 21/09/2018 19:18

Context needed. If he lives in the middle of nowhere and relies of other people to drive him about that would be a big fat NO from me. If he lives in a city centre with loads of public transport and genuinely has no need then it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest.

Original poster
CandiedPeach · 21/09/2018 19:18

People that judgemental deserve to be single! that’s a bit harsh LondonLass. She’s my friend so I’ll defend her obviously. But she’s only dating him, people end things with dates for numerous reasons. For her she said she really liked him and saw a proper relationship with him, but knew him not driving would grate on her and make spending time together more difficult unless she did all the driving.

OP posts:
Pinkprincess1978 · 21/09/2018 19:18

I wouldn't like it although my husband didn't drive when we met but I told him he had to be by the time we had kids (he did)