I have never looked as much a complete idiot as I did this morning.

[DoubleNegativePanda]

I was running late this morning and ran around like a crazy person getting us out and on the school run. Dropped dd off and ran into work late, joined the morning staff meeting in progress. Coworker motioned at my legs and whispered "what happened?" which of course while quiet still caught the attention of the group who all looked at me.

Somehow, and I have no fucking idea how it happened, I trod in butter. Why was butter on the floor? I couldn't tell you. So there I am in clinic, standing there with a fucking lump of softened butter all over the side of my shoe and smeared on the legs of my scrubs (which must have happened when I was driving).

I had to consciously stop myself from dancing around trying to hide my foot behind myself which would only make it worse. Then I had to go stand in my pants in the bathroom trying to scrub butter out of my trouser legs with hand soap. WTAF is happening in my life that I'm standing in my pants at work with butter on my shoes.

Before anyone asks me how I failed to notice it myself, I have gigantic massive norks and haven't seen my feet in decades.

I'm just at a loss. I'm also a bit scared to go home and see what carnage I've made of my house walking around with butter feet, and how much worse my cats will have made it.

Oh Its ok, I turned up at work last week in odd shoes! How the hell I did it I have no idea, but will assume I was having a similar morning to yours today.

Sorry but I am 😂 it's the sort of thing that would happen to me.

It's okay. I came out of the staff toilet with my skirt tucked in my knickers.

I'm not laughing at your predicament....yes, yes I am, that's funny!

I had been at work for a whole morning before a colleague kindly informed me that I had my dress on inside out.

My sister was once doing a pitch, sitting in a circle with 3/4 other people, crossed her legs and yesterday's knickers made their way out of her grounder leg and onto the floor.

Trouser leg!

At least you weren't a butterfingers! Ba dum tish, I'll be here all week

I just farted loudly in front of my boss, involuntary... i am at 'that age' embarrassed! i ignored it and he tried his best, now thinking i should have just tinkly laughed and apologised, i've made it worse.

I hope the butter appeared when you got out of car on walk into work so no mess for you when you get home

I’ve gone to work in odd shoes too.

@bellende that's quite funny, but your poor sis!

My not so flattering work knickers once got attached to my sons pe kit.
He found them when he went to get changed ha ha ha
He has never let me forget it

You'll not get lost though - think of the old wives tale about covering a cat's feet in butter so they know their way home. Have you been late for anything recently?

I've gone to work in odd stockings before now, back in the 80s when I was young and a bit flighty. One white and one cream.

I went to an interview for a job I really wanted. 8 months post Parton was feeling really shitty about myself, so made a huge effort - dyed hair, put make up on, actually fitted into my nice trouser suit.

Interview went brilliantly, was sure I’d get the job -

Until I found a dried up spaghetti hoop stuck to the shoulder of my lovely blazer on the train ride home 🙈🙈🙈

Partum not Parton! Must be all the large boob talk (mine were massive at the time!)

I once walked down a corridor at work...with a long strip of loo roll stuck to my shoe. I had no idea until a man caught up with me to let me know It was like trailing a streamer

Intrigued - weak why do you have specific knickers for work?!

I wore a new skirt to work, proudly because I really liked it. Then wore it out to meet a friend, who informed me that it left 'nothing to the imagination'. I was stupid young and naive and hadn't realised it was the kind that's designed to be worn with a slip or similar.

I also once crossed my legs while sitting on my office chair talking to my boss, must have swung them a bit vigorously and sort of keeled over sideways. Had to grab the side of the chair. Papers/notebook slid and crashed to the floor.

Luckily he was a lovely person and made an easy joke and we moved on.

I'm sitting wearing odd shoes today, 2nd time I have done it in 3 months.....

ITBEMAY I am doing it all the time no choice in the matter, no control am oblivious there is a fart there even!
Also walked along the full length windowed corridor passing the full canteen with my skirt tucked in my knickers until a porter took pity on me .........

Qfor - I did that once too! Worse, one was a brown court shoe and the other a black court shoe, and the heels were slightly different heights!
Things was, I'd got dressed in the half-dark and not even noticed because I'd only gone down the stairs, out the front door and into the car - it was only when I was walking from the carpark into work that I wondered why it felt peculiar and looked down - bloody idiot that I am!
I actually had to go home and change them - couldn't spend all day in odd-height shoes.

thumb I noticed in the car park too, a plain back ballet pump, and a black one with pink flowers all over! I had dropped 2.5 year old ds at nursery already too, the poor girls there must have thought I was mad!

I got to work one morning and had to rush out and buy some knickers, having forgotten to put any on!