I have never looked as much a complete idiot as I did this morning.

[DoubleNegativePanda]

I was running late this morning and ran around like a crazy person getting us out and on the school run. Dropped dd off and ran into work late, joined the morning staff meeting in progress. Coworker motioned at my legs and whispered "what happened?" which of course while quiet still caught the attention of the group who all looked at me.

Somehow, and I have no fucking idea how it happened, I trod in butter. Why was butter on the floor? I couldn't tell you. So there I am in clinic, standing there with a fucking lump of softened butter all over the side of my shoe and smeared on the legs of my scrubs (which must have happened when I was driving).

I had to consciously stop myself from dancing around trying to hide my foot behind myself which would only make it worse. Then I had to go stand in my pants in the bathroom trying to scrub butter out of my trouser legs with hand soap. WTAF is happening in my life that I'm standing in my pants at work with butter on my shoes.

Before anyone asks me how I failed to notice it myself, I have gigantic massive norks and haven't seen my feet in decades.

I'm just at a loss. I'm also a bit scared to go home and see what carnage I've made of my house walking around with butter feet, and how much worse my cats will have made it.

Foxy just plain boring white ones , I suppose I just keep my more expensive/appealing underwear for non work occasions

Currently don't have any requirement to wear appealing underwear at work 😂😂😂😂

My son went for a job interview and was sitting in the waiting room, looked down and thought my jacket is shiny. My jacket is shiny, oh shit, I've got my tux on! He got the job though

These are funny! They're making me glad I work from home though!

I was welcoming visiting Important People from Denmark last year with spinach all over my top teeth. Big grins for half an hour before someone told me.

Oh Its ok, I turned up at work last week in odd shoes! How the hell I did it I have no idea, but will assume I was having a similar morning to yours today.

I've done that too! TBF I had two pairs of shoes which were identical so it wasn't as though one shoe felt any different to the other. I didn't notice until I was about to leave work. Suddenly I realised why I'd been getting funny looks in a meeting earlier that day.

At least it wasn't dog poop.

My rather snug pencil skirt split all the way up to my arse crack whilst at work a few months ago, couldn’t go home, so had to wrap a high-vis vest around my waist for the rest of the day.

I’ve also had a dress zip break whilst at work, wasn’t so bad, just kept my jacket on.

Note to self: stop buying cheap work clothes!

I regularly walk into work in two different shoes. Its because I keep a tatty old pair for driving under my car seat. But its an automatic gearbox, so I only need to put the right one on. Forget to swap it back as I get out. Realise as I walk down wooden floor corridor and one shoe makes a clacky noise that the other doesn't.

...sorry i'm just bit that you wear your scrubs outside of the clinic. Is the point of them not to limit the amount of contamination from outdoors?

Love the wearing a tux to a job interview though.... might wear a ball gown to my next one and see what happens?

I just went to adjust my bra on the way home and BOTH sides of my top have split along the seam (v old but nice charity shop top). Thank goodness I was wearing a poncho.

The other day a kind lady in a queue I had been standing in awhile pointed out I had an opened (but unused!!) sanitary towel stuck to my bum. It was rolled up so could have looked used to someone else. I assume one of the DCs took it out of it's packaging.

My black trousers split at work and I just had to brazen it out and hope no one noticed as I had black pants on. I'm 100 percent sure they did.

I also work for a large, very well known corporation, was sitting behind the ceo at a meeting, he was sitting far back on his chair, and some of his bum was hanging over the back. He's a man you've all heard of. I was wearing heels and I still don't know how I managed it, but I crossed my legs rather vigorously and kicked him square up the Jacksie. Hard. He just turned round and looked at me in shock. As I tried to explain that I genuinely hadn't suddenly kicked up the arse on purpose. 😱

I got all the way home from dds swimming lesson with those blue plastic shoe covers on my feet. She is 8. She didn’t tell me.

I bent over at work in front of a female colleague and she shrieked with laughter. I was wearing a pair of fairly snug fitting black trousers that unbeknown to me had split at the rear seam. Unfortunately I had just a thong underneath. While I didn’t mind her seeing my naked rear end I was mortified when I remembered that just half an hour before I had walked upstairs in front of a male client. He must have had his face on a level with my bare arse all the way up the stairs. 😱

Post what now????

He must have had his face on a level with my bare arse all the way up the stairs

Sorry OP, but Bwahaha! Seriously, go easy on yourself. I walked out of my house one morning wearing my slippers. DH had to call me back. You’re fine!

I don't know how many times I've got to the car with those on Mollys

Ha! I have so many.

Once, when I was taking very strong medication to help me sleep through PTSD, I put my god tights, boots, and top on and headed out to walk to work. I had walked about twenty mins before realising I forgot to put on a skirt. In this instance at least the tights were thick.

Another time I walked to the train station (15 mins), rode the train, got off the train, walked to the bus, got ON the bus, road that bus, and was transferring to the next bus when someone finally told me my dress was tucked into my (not thick in this instance!!) tights.

I have also gone to work with clothes inside out on more than one occasion. Once I had paint in my hair from play club when I was giving an important presentation.

Generally, a hot mess.

Am fairly successful which continues to shock me!!!

Oh also, when DS was in the baby room at nursery, we had to put those blue shoe cover things on to go into the room to collect him. I lost track of the time I got home with one or both of them still on...

Surely your cats will have enthusiastically licked up any butter around the house? Mine loves the stuff....

I once had a pencil skirt split on my too! The original dainty split went a quarter of the way up, and afterwards went up three quarters!
And I had a meeting with a parent after school 🤦🏽‍♀️
I had to wrap a cardigan around me and ended up just coming out with it and telling them as I felt such a tit looking like a child with a jumper wrapped round my waist!

I've been to court in a navy skirt and black jacket from very different suits, and on another day, with my skirt having split as I got on the bus. DSis has done a full day's doctoring with baby sick down the back of her dress.

I walked around an entire day with a giant sticker on the back of my trousers with SALE £10 SIZE X written on them. No one at work told me!