I have never looked as much a complete idiot as I did this morning.

[DoubleNegativePanda]

I was running late this morning and ran around like a crazy person getting us out and on the school run. Dropped dd off and ran into work late, joined the morning staff meeting in progress. Coworker motioned at my legs and whispered "what happened?" which of course while quiet still caught the attention of the group who all looked at me.

Somehow, and I have no fucking idea how it happened, I trod in butter. Why was butter on the floor? I couldn't tell you. So there I am in clinic, standing there with a fucking lump of softened butter all over the side of my shoe and smeared on the legs of my scrubs (which must have happened when I was driving).

I had to consciously stop myself from dancing around trying to hide my foot behind myself which would only make it worse. Then I had to go stand in my pants in the bathroom trying to scrub butter out of my trouser legs with hand soap. WTAF is happening in my life that I'm standing in my pants at work with butter on my shoes.

Before anyone asks me how I failed to notice it myself, I have gigantic massive norks and haven't seen my feet in decades.

I'm just at a loss. I'm also a bit scared to go home and see what carnage I've made of my house walking around with butter feet, and how much worse my cats will have made it.

Reminds me when I was at the gym doing a spinning class and my shoe/pedal was catching on something. turned out it was a clean pair of knickers which must've been washed within the workout leggings the previous use! Had nowhere to put them so used them to mop my sweaty face

We've all been there, DoubleNegative, you're not alone.......

Could have been much worse - at least it wasn't doggie poop!

Oh God, I gave a talk to a small group of male ex-offenders about getting back into education. I was wearing a black silky blouse and had forgotten to put my bra on. (I often go bra-less at home for comfort so it felt fairly normal to me). They were all very attentive during my talk, which surprised me at the time, until I looked in the bathroom mirror before I left.

when moving house we had a clear out and a skip outside, i bagged up and chucked all my manky old underwear and threw it. some cats got into the bags and the next morning my manky old underwear was strewn half way down the street. My street that a lot of families from my class lived on

Don’t worry about it. I was answered the door to a man selling frozen food and didn’t realise but my boob was hanging out. I’d been adjusting my straps before the sudden knock at the door. Don’t think he was too impressed as he never came back!