Get all your shit in one sock

[thenewaveragebear1983]

Just read this expression on another thread- Genius! As in, teenage dd has failed to get all her shit in one sock - (disorganised)

Other current favourites-

Put your pom-poms down (used when people get a bit ranty and over passionate about stuff, stolen from Gwen stefani)

And ‘she looks like the cat’s just crapped in her handbag’ - when people get that sour faced, pissed off look. Also from mumsnet.

So go on, what are your classic expressions? I need a few more for my repertoire!

Face like a box of frogs.

I just heard, "up to my eyes in alligators" for busy.

I'm stealing that.

Is the saying not “mad as a box of frogs”?

Fits like a stocking over a chickens lip.
Chickens don't have lips, so its meant to mean it looks fucking terrible and doesn't fit at all. That's one of my dads.

Someone failing miserably to cover up a mistake:
Scrabbling around like a cat that's shit on a marble floor.

If pigs could fly, he/she would be Wing Commander.

I once fell about the place upon hearing my mum tell my dad "I hope your next shite's a hedgehog!" after he'd wronged her in some way!!!

And my personal favourite is 'I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed'

Love that MrsTP, I might steal that too!

We use mad as a bag of rabbits, barrel of snakes, box of frogs etc

I once described my Dh building flatpack furniture as ‘like a chimp trying to unlock a padlock with a teaspoon’ which I was pretty proud of

DH and I often comment on the look our cat gives us as "she's going going to shit in your cereal"

“Face like a sleeper arse”

"I'm sorry to piss on your chips but...."

Face like a well-chewed chip

A face like a smacked arse
(when someone takes offence) you can have a gate if you want one
He looks like someone's spit in his cornflakes

Face like a well smacked arse

Eyes like a smashed crab....

A Rhod Gilbert one - As clueless as a sausage dog watching Countdown.

I like that, 'Get all your shit in one sock.' That's a new one for me.

I love 'mad as a bucket of frogs'. A classic.

'The lunatics are running the asylum.' Fitting for these times.

'Rough as houses', another beauty.

'Face like a slapped arse,' or 'Face like the back end of a bus.'

It's not quite a saying but a great quote by Noel Gallagher on his brother Liam, "He's like a man with a fork in a world of soup." That's excellent. I'll be using that.

Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp

Face like a bucket of whelks.

I just guffawed at the OP's one about the flatpack furniture. DH is upstairs & I'm sure I heard him swear quietly... he knows that whatever I was laughing about, it'll be about him. He's right.

"I'm sorry to piss on your chips but...."

I do love that one.

Rough as a badgers arse on a frosty morning, often used by an old college to describe the way he felt after a night on the tiles.

As much use as a tit on a bull.

Face like a bulldog licking fox shit off a wire brush,
As much use as Anne Frank"s drumkit,
As flash as a rat with a gold tooth,
All over the place like a mad woman's piss...

Face like a bulldog peeing on a nettle

It’s better than a poke in the eye with a shitty stick