Get all your shit in one sock

[thenewaveragebear1983]

Just read this expression on another thread- Genius! As in, teenage dd has failed to get all her shit in one sock - (disorganised)

Other current favourites-

Put your pom-poms down (used when people get a bit ranty and over passionate about stuff, stolen from Gwen stefani)

And ‘she looks like the cat’s just crapped in her handbag’ - when people get that sour faced, pissed off look. Also from mumsnet.

So go on, what are your classic expressions? I need a few more for my repertoire!

God this thread has got me roaring!! My new fave has got to be 'hope your next shite is a hedgehog' 😂😂😂

Frankie Boyle once described himself as having ‘a body like a dropped lasagne’ on a chat show.

Also, we say someone’s ‘thick as gravy’ rather than ‘thick as mince’ but it’s the same gist. Also, ‘not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree’!

A guy in a pub once told my friend she could ‘model crash helmets’ which was mean but funny - she’s actually very pretty and does not have a ‘face for radio!’

And when the kids are annoying me I say ‘you’re really tickling my goat’ which has become a real phrase in our house!

As much use as an ashtray on a motorbike.

Sweating like a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

If he was chocolate he would eat himself

My mam used to say she was 'up & down like a whore's drawers' (not being able to sit down 5 minutes without having to get up again for whatever reason)

My nan used to tell us to 'stop towing ypur mam' when we were pestering her as children.

My uncle used to say we'd 'argue about two flies crawling up the wall' when we were constantly falling out with each other.

Couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo.

Like a one legged man in an arse kicking contest.

About as much use as a chocolate fireguard.
When more than one tiny lamp was on in the house: it's like Blackpool Illuminations in here.
The wheel's going round but the hamster's dead.

A seemingly impossible task is referred to as being "like trying to put an octopus in a string bag" in my family

For ditherers: you're like a fart in a colander

Oh I like 'Get all your shit in one sock'. Same meaning, but much better than the horrible 'Ducks in a row' that gets trotted out so often on here.

He’d get up on a cracked plate (for a horny man with low standards).

He’s so tight he still has his communion money (for someone supremely tight with money- communion is at aged 7 or 8 here).

LadyMonicaBaddingham I love that one!

Ooh, I know it as up and down like a bride's nightie!

High as a giraffes arse

Thought of another someone at work uses,
Butterhead - nice body but 'er heads minging

As thick as two planks of pig shit.

Love the "hope your next shit is a hedgehog "😂😂

Most commonly used in our family is the lights are on but no one is home or a couple of sandwiches sort or a picnic/a couple of sausages short of a bbq

'A walk like 2 hairs in her arse were tied together'

From my dearly departed almost 100 year old friend.

*All fur coat and no knickers

Like herding cats*

Slightly worried @Hushnownobodycares knows me, I use these all the time

Face like the back end of a tram smash
For something which is difficult - like trying to plait smoke /nail jelly to the ceiling

I like this thread! My favourites have to be, it would have been obvious to a blind man on a galloping horse, face like a slapped arse, cats bum face, oh and my favourite, I was all over that like a tramp on a bag of chips. Only ever heard that one in Manchester!

In answer to the question, does it fit? - like a sock on a chicken!

Thought OP’s title was announcing a very British konmari method of decluttering. 🤣
Clearly I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer, my heid is full of mince, in fact.

Not my circus, not my monkeys.