Get all your shit in one sock

[thenewaveragebear1983]

Just read this expression on another thread- Genius! As in, teenage dd has failed to get all her shit in one sock - (disorganised)

Other current favourites-

Put your pom-poms down (used when people get a bit ranty and over passionate about stuff, stolen from Gwen stefani)

And ‘she looks like the cat’s just crapped in her handbag’ - when people get that sour faced, pissed off look. Also from mumsnet.

So go on, what are your classic expressions? I need a few more for my repertoire!

Face like a smacked arse

I hope your next shit is a hedgehog

My neighbor describing a woman she just met “Ass looked like 2 raccoons fighting in a sack of corn”

DH after teaching DM to build a website “like teaching a horse to roller scate”

Neighbor describing DS’ who is admittedly a beanpole “like a condom stretched over a Skeleton”

I'd rather shit in my hands and clap

Bows and waves - the 'get all your shit in one sock' phrase is much used in my household and has been for decades, and I think I posted it in the thread about the teenage DD wanting her mum to be a guarantor.

I think I picked it up from my military dh, so it may have Naval origins.

"Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp" was one of my dad's favourites.

I love, "hell hath no fury like the uninvolved"
Perfect for some Mumsnet moments

Scary yes, I think it was you!

Bay watch crime watch (great body but ugly)

Layer short of a lasagne

All gong and no dinner

Face for radio

My dad once described something as being 'as user-friendly as a rattlesnake' which I really enjoyed and have adopted.

Face like a kite (miserable fucker)

Face like a smacked arse (ditto)

Cat's arse mouth

All fur coat and no knickers

Like herding cats

I'm glad to see this fred -- I (almost) spat choc-digestive on my screen seeing "Get all your shit in one sock" :D

My current two favourites: "I could agree with you, but then we would both be wrong" and "If you sucked a lemon, the lemon would say yuck"

BOBFOC - body off Baywatch, face off Crimewatch

Face like a bag of spanners (origins unknown but randomly I remember the first time I ever heard this was to describe Gillian Taylforth, as Kathy in Eastenders, and I dont' think she deserves that title!)

My OH, often: Well, that's as much use as tits on a fish.

I can tell when someone is blowing smoke up my ass

Same shit, different smell - different rubbish situation, same problems. Picked it up from an Australian stewardess years ago, no idea where it comes from!

Thick as mince.

Knows just enough not to eat their own arm.

That's the dog calling the cat's arse hairy.... (kettle/pot alternative)

'I'd rather shit in my hands and clap' is a MN one I have adopted.

Describing someone with uneven teeth, 'a mouth like a bag of chisels'.

That chickens lip on is hilarious 😂

*one

I hope your rabbit dies and you can't sell the hutch!!

A favourite in my house is a face like a dropped pie

As much use as a chocolate fireguard.
As bright as a black out.