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How to repair a friendship

204 replies

Makehimtick · 12/08/2018 22:51

Hi. I've had this good friend for 11 months. We've been gradually getting to know each other and just having fun. I did something that really upset him yesterday and he just won't communicate. Here's what it was. A few weeks ago were on a group walk, relaxing in the sun, and he splashed water over me. It was a laugh. I said' 'I'll get you back for that' and it was all fun. Yesterday was the next group walk. I brought with me a pot of dry sheep muck and poured it over his face. I said it was payback. I really thought he would laugh. He didn't. Gave me the silent treatment all the way back. I told him I was desperately sorry, hadn't meant to hurt/upset him, was meant in fun and wished I could undo it cos I deeply regretted it. Told him he meant a lot to me and was gutted I had done this. He seemed to thaw a bit and said 'OK I hear you but just don't say any more' and we had some general chat before we went our separate ways. He lives at a distance, doesn't like phone, so I emailed him when I got home and said again how sorry I was and also said a few general things, to show I was listening and trying to draw a line under it. I've heard nothing since and am so worried he is going to just end the friendship. What can I say that is brief but on target and will help save the friendship? Sad

OP posts:
Cauliflowersqueeze · 12/08/2018 22:52

Oh god my face absolutely dropped when you said what you poured on him- it’s not exactly a payback!

Honestly I think you may have killed it. Splashing water on him would have been funny but not sheep shit!

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry · 12/08/2018 22:55

Is this a wind up?
With friends like these, who needs enemies—to rub shit on your face—

AnneLovesGilbert · 12/08/2018 22:58

You did what?! Shock

Lynne1Cat · 12/08/2018 23:01

Him splashing water on you was playful (irritating) but harmless - but sheep shit?!

There's nothing more you can do. If he wants to stay friends, he'll contact you. If he doesn't, you've ruined a friendship.

JacNaylor · 12/08/2018 23:07

??? He splashed a bit of water on you so you specifically brought along a pot of shit to pour on his face? I think the action is quite bad but it's the thought that went into it which makes this, well, odd if I'm honest.
You've apologised, maybe a friendly "normal" message in a week or so to see if he responds but after a relatively short friendship he may decide not to continue it.

Bostin · 12/08/2018 23:09

Too far and premeditated which makes it worse.

Perhaps you could offer for him to pelt you with horse dung?

SandAndSea · 12/08/2018 23:15

Oh dear.

I thought you were going to say you threw water on him.

Sadly, you went too far. He threw some water during a spontaneous, fun moment. This is quite different from calculating pay back and then, having taken time to think about it, deciding to pour shit on his face.

He might well be feeling hurt and weighing up if you actually wanted to hurt him.

It sounds like you've apologised enough though. I think I would leave it for now and give him some space.

Giraffey1 · 12/08/2018 23:21

Is this a reverse?
Who in their right minds goes around collecting sheep shit, lets it dry and then pours it over someone else’s face? Not sure how you can pour dried sheep shit, by the way.
All completely ridiculous.

m0therofdragons · 12/08/2018 23:27

WTF?!ShockConfused

iogo · 12/08/2018 23:30

Friendship not salvageable.

I would never, ever speak to someone again if they did that to me. Despicable thing to do. Utterly disgusting.

MoonageBowie · 12/08/2018 23:34

Umm... that went from 1-100 really quick. I'd be mad too if someone did that to me Confused

AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 12/08/2018 23:37

Oh hell no!

What if it had gone in his mouth?

And I usually find EVERYTHING funny.

I'm glad you're not my friend, OP.

Singlenotsingle · 12/08/2018 23:38

He must have been totally embarrassed and humiliated. In fact he felt like shit. I don't think you can pull this one back, OP Shock

0hCrepe · 12/08/2018 23:39

How did you think that would go OK? Bizarre and sounds like you held a massive grudge re the water.

starryeyed19 · 12/08/2018 23:40

So, dry sheep muck is what it sounds like? Where on earth did you get it from?!

I think this one is a goner, OP. I'd leave it alone and let him get in touch if he wants to. How old are you both? How did the rest of the group respond?

A general life rule: don't throw dry shit on someone you like.

HollowTalk · 12/08/2018 23:42

This is clearly a reverse - but whoever threw it is insane.

itsBritneyBeach · 12/08/2018 23:45

Sheep shite on his face!! Fuck off Shock omg I'd never respond to an email from someone who's done that to me unless it literally said "Fuck off"

starryeyed19 · 12/08/2018 23:46

Is it too early to ask for this to be punted over to Classics?

ilovetomatoes · 12/08/2018 23:47

Sorry OP, I agree it’s probably too late. However upset you might be I think you have to own it and realise you messed up badly. Will be easier for you to move on that way. Were other people around when you did it? What did they say?

Makehimtick · 12/08/2018 23:48

Oh dear. No. I had no grudge about the water. I have a mad sense of humour and he knows it. I really love the guy, he's wacky himself, and I thought he would be really tickled.
I told him afterwards that he could do anything to me that he wanted.
It's easy to pour. When it's dry it's just pellets of dry grass. It's not foul like dog muck cos sheep only eat grass and no meat. I didn't rub it, I just stood above him and poured. It was all dry and just ran off. It doesn't stick. I don't really understand why you all think it's so bad.
However the majority see it as a deal breaker. That is very depressing. Will just have to see what happens. Thank you for your replies.

OP posts:
Fatbelliedgirl · 12/08/2018 23:48

Well that was a stupid thing to do OP.

starryeyed19 · 12/08/2018 23:49

It's still shit, @Makehimtick - it doesn't matter whether it's solid, liquid or gas. You threw shit at him.

Wacky doesn't begin to cover it

Bostin · 12/08/2018 23:50

Grass or not it still came out of a sheep’s arse.

haribosmarties · 12/08/2018 23:51

Just leave it and wait for him to contact you. It was a bad thing to do... youve done all you can by apologising so hopefully he will see you mean it and accept that.... you cant push that though. He might just need some time to be pissed off so just give him space. I wouldnt contact him again until he contacts you.

ItWentInMyEye · 12/08/2018 23:53

@Bostin I am howling at that 🤣🤣🤣

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