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Original poster

How to repair a friendship

204 replies

Makehimtick · 12/08/2018 22:51

Hi. I've had this good friend for 11 months. We've been gradually getting to know each other and just having fun. I did something that really upset him yesterday and he just won't communicate. Here's what it was. A few weeks ago were on a group walk, relaxing in the sun, and he splashed water over me. It was a laugh. I said' 'I'll get you back for that' and it was all fun. Yesterday was the next group walk. I brought with me a pot of dry sheep muck and poured it over his face. I said it was payback. I really thought he would laugh. He didn't. Gave me the silent treatment all the way back. I told him I was desperately sorry, hadn't meant to hurt/upset him, was meant in fun and wished I could undo it cos I deeply regretted it. Told him he meant a lot to me and was gutted I had done this. He seemed to thaw a bit and said 'OK I hear you but just don't say any more' and we had some general chat before we went our separate ways. He lives at a distance, doesn't like phone, so I emailed him when I got home and said again how sorry I was and also said a few general things, to show I was listening and trying to draw a line under it. I've heard nothing since and am so worried he is going to just end the friendship. What can I say that is brief but on target and will help save the friendship?

OP posts:

Watchingtheworldgoby · 14/08/2018 17:09

Is his priority another person OP?

You don’t have to answer but say there is somebody else then I think that may affect how he currently views you more than if you were his main focus. I hope you are ok. For what it’s worth, I think you have apologised so stop beating yourself up.

YaLoVeras · 14/08/2018 17:10

OP, id be worried for you that somebody will bring this thread to his attention. It is an identifying set of circumstances.
I would actively work on loving him less. If he is free and you are free, he hasnt asked you out in 11 months. He might like u but not enough to be in a relationship with you, so let this embarrassing incident be the catalyst for your checking out of the friendship a lot.

cheesemongery · 14/08/2018 17:23

My friend tickled me the other day, so as a laugh to get him back, I knee capped him

Brilliant!

PicklingGherkins · 14/08/2018 17:57

If your husband/partner has come home smelling of sheep shit and says some lass has chucked it on him then you have a big problem!!

PicklingGherkins · 14/08/2018 17:59

Actually scratch that comment, I genuinely have no idea what the score is and shouldn't make snarky assumptions. Sorry OP!!

Watchingtheworldgoby · 14/08/2018 19:23

By the way OP, because you have been on my mind a lot since I read your update about ringing a counseller yesterday, I was wondering if you would confide with a (girl)friend in real life and tell her you feel. A shared bottle of wine and a good chat might make you feel a whole lot better x

Cauliflowersqueeze · 14/08/2018 23:04

Just don’t get carried away with the wine. If she coughs, don’t vomit all over her face, for example.

Original poster

Makehimtick · 14/08/2018 23:20

He is one in a million and he IS funny and wacky. I am an arsehole.

I am aware he may find out about the thread, but I googled sheep muck in the face and nothing came up. Oh, except something about cyclists getting campylobacter from sheep poo which really scared me.

After so many of you have been so shocked at what I have done, I am too embarrassed to share this with my girlfriends, or anyone who knows me. Well, I would tell one friend but she is away tending to her ill mother at the moment so couldn't burden her until the time was right.

He IS keen on me. I don't understand people making assumptions like this when they don't know. It's our lives, not yours

Now then, I have momentous news. I have been on my knees thanking God because my dear guy has emailed and he has been absolutely lovely. He is so gracious. He is extraordinary and one in a million and I must never, ever hurt him again. What a surprise and a beautiful ending.

Thank you for all the responses. Yes, I have liked some more than others, but even the ones that upset me have been a valuable insight into people's opinions.

I am very relieved to be saying goodbye to this post and this awful situation!

OP posts:

Watchingtheworldgoby · 14/08/2018 23:41

I'm delighted for you OP and I hope everything works out well for you both.

ShadowCatt · 15/08/2018 00:51

This is a big pile of sheep shit.

GlacierMints · 15/08/2018 00:54

LOL @ShadowCatt.

It makes not much sense that's true.

He IS keen on me. I don't understand people making assumptions like this when they don't know.

OP - how can he be keen on you when you aren't together after 4 years? and isn't going to ask you out? Sounds like pretty obvious that he's not keen. He may like you a lot as a friend but this isn't a romantic relationship. No assumptions just on the base truth.

Original poster

Makehimtick · 15/08/2018 09:31

It's 11 months not 4 years. We KNEW each other for 3 years and a month first.
I feel assumptions are still being made on what people see as 'the norm' or what 'should' be happening. I am not giving details of what has been said and has gone on between us as that is private. I think people need to stop questioning this. He and I know what we know and it suits us very well. Unless you want his email and you can ask him yourself.

Thank you for all the support and good wishes. If I find how to close the thread, I will.

OP posts:

ScreamingValenta · 15/08/2018 09:33

I'm glad you've managed to reconcile.

SummersB · 15/08/2018 09:42

Cool story bro

Fevs · 15/08/2018 09:52

The first few pages of this thread have literailly had me crying with laughter.
Especially -
@JacNaylor
??? He splashed a bit of water on you so you specifically brought along a pot of shit to pour on his face?

It sounds to me like he can give it but not take it too well. Granted throwing (dried) shit on someone is different to splashing water but if that’s the sort of friendship that you have then I think he was a bit petty to make such a big deal about it.
You sound like a lovely innocent person who was just trying to get involved in the joking manner. I’m glad he’s made up with you.
Just stay away from any animal poo going forwards 😂😂😂😂

Original poster

Makehimtick · 15/08/2018 11:37

Fevs: Yeah, will do. Every time I see a bit of the brown stuff now, I reflect and repent.
A few weeks ago I bought a water pistol.......but perhaps I won't.

OP posts:

Emmageddon · 15/08/2018 12:00

Just don't fill that water pistol with horse piss eh?

Original poster

Makehimtick · 15/08/2018 12:24

Now, there's an idea! I have two ponies....

OP posts:

BlancheM · 15/08/2018 13:07

Glad to hear it's all worked out well, sure you had a shit start but I'm sure you'll both look back and laugh 😂

Original poster

Makehimtick · 15/08/2018 13:54

Hi. Yes, hope so. Thank you. From all the different responses, most giving terminal diagnosis, it looked as if there was maybe a 3% chance of the friendship surviving. Life's rich tapestry.

OP posts:

YeTalkShiteHen · 15/08/2018 16:27

Lovely!

UsedBySomebodyAlready · 15/08/2018 17:05

What a lovely ending. You must be happy as a sheep in muck, OP.

Pinkandyellowandgreen · 15/08/2018 19:04

Oh so funny. Or not.

Fatbelliedgirl · 15/08/2018 19:32

Could have been worse...Could have been pig shit.

Original poster

Makehimtick · 15/08/2018 19:37

Lovely, yeahhhh. Happy, yeahhhhh...... Funny, well it is now! Could have been much worse.

Thanks, all!

OP posts:

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