Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

How to repair a friendship

204 replies

Makehimtick · 12/08/2018 22:51

Hi. I've had this good friend for 11 months. We've been gradually getting to know each other and just having fun. I did something that really upset him yesterday and he just won't communicate. Here's what it was. A few weeks ago were on a group walk, relaxing in the sun, and he splashed water over me. It was a laugh. I said' 'I'll get you back for that' and it was all fun. Yesterday was the next group walk. I brought with me a pot of dry sheep muck and poured it over his face. I said it was payback. I really thought he would laugh. He didn't. Gave me the silent treatment all the way back. I told him I was desperately sorry, hadn't meant to hurt/upset him, was meant in fun and wished I could undo it cos I deeply regretted it. Told him he meant a lot to me and was gutted I had done this. He seemed to thaw a bit and said 'OK I hear you but just don't say any more' and we had some general chat before we went our separate ways. He lives at a distance, doesn't like phone, so I emailed him when I got home and said again how sorry I was and also said a few general things, to show I was listening and trying to draw a line under it. I've heard nothing since and am so worried he is going to just end the friendship. What can I say that is brief but on target and will help save the friendship? Sad

OP posts:
Makehimtick · 12/08/2018 23:54

What does OP mean?
I failed to answer some questions. I gathered it off the fields around my house during a period of drought.
Others didn't notice. Their faces were in their food. But they noticed the atmosphere between us two.
I do agree it hurt his pride terribly. I just didn't think it would.

OP posts:
starryeyed19 · 12/08/2018 23:55

OP means "original poster"

So, everyone else was eating when you did this? Was he eating too?

Makehimtick · 12/08/2018 23:55

Why do people keep calling me OP? What does it mean?
By the way we are both in our mid 50's but if OP means Old Person I do object!

OP posts:
PatrickMerricksGoshawk · 12/08/2018 23:57

You went too far and you probably can't repair this. Learn from it and move on.

Seth · 13/08/2018 00:02

Op means original poster. Nothing bad and v commonly used. I do think people are being a bit harsh on you. Whilst clearly not ideal and it backfired. I also trust from what you say that you did it in a context where you thought he would find it funny. Sounds like he didn't but if he's a proper friend and doesn't want to lose your friendship then he shouldn't bear a grudge for too long even if he wasn't happy.

iogo · 13/08/2018 00:09

😂 You're in your mid 50s? Abdominal you thought throwing shit was ok? OMG i thought you were going to be an immature early 20s! 😂

(Sorry all other early 20s people who recognise that throwing shit it a batshit crazy thing to do)

iogo · 13/08/2018 00:11

'Abominable' should be 'and'. Weird autocorrect.

TheDishRanAwayWithTheSpoon · 13/08/2018 00:19

Is this a reverse? What a twist! This is so bizarre, I was expecting you to say you poured water on him or put salt in his tea or something not threw shit in his face! While everyone was eating? I mean you collected shit specifically to throw in his face? I think I'm a bit in shock.

TheDishRanAwayWithTheSpoon · 13/08/2018 00:23

At first i thought dried sheep muck must actually be some kind of food pellet I didn't know about, but it was actually shit. I don't know what I'd do if someone did this to me, I think it's just so surreal I don't think I'd even be cross. Just really confused.

MinorRSole · 13/08/2018 00:24

Wtf! Wacky sense of humour sounds like code for I'm a bit of a twat.

Having shit thrown in my face would tell me I wasn't compatible with the thrower, maybe my soh isn't wacky enough

Bostin · 13/08/2018 00:33

@ItWentInMyEye are you the OP’s friend?Grin

OP he might laugh about it one day but I’d leave it for now.

hilzilla · 13/08/2018 00:46

This is all bullshitSmile
I'd find a new friend if I were you old person and learn yourself some basic decent behavior . Stupid idiot.

FurryDogMother · 13/08/2018 00:46

Late 50s here and I would have laughed if I'd been your friend (and plotted my revenge). Am not too bothered by sheep shit - obviously, your mate was. Oops. Hope he gets over it.

Fwend · 13/08/2018 00:52

@hilzilla Sheepshit, surely?

I don't there's any fixing this, OP. I may also suggest that your sense of humour may be less "wacky" than distinctly odd.

YaLoVeras · 13/08/2018 06:42

I think you have to accept that you went too far here.

Honestly if the situation was reversed, can you honestly say you'd laugh?

YaLoVeras · 13/08/2018 06:43

If you want to repair the friendship, I'd text him a simple ''I'm sorry, I went too far''.

And leave it. Don't wait for a reply. It might not come, but the next time you meet up he'll have it there in the back of his mind that although you went too far, you realise it and you apologised. That's what I'd do if I wanted the friendship back.

shakeyourcaboose · 13/08/2018 06:46

You did it while he was eating?!

LEMtheoriginal · 13/08/2018 06:48

Omg what a snowflake, doesn't he realise you were just messing about? Can he not take a joke? After all he startrd it......ah no, hang on, you put sheep shit on his face?

There is a particular type of tapeworm carried by sheep. If you catch it it can cause serious iver disease.

Grow up

LEMtheoriginal · 13/08/2018 06:54

really funny

LavenderDoll · 13/08/2018 06:58

I think water in the face is funny between friends
Sheep shit in the face Is bloody horrible and the fact it was premeditated is worse

sar302 · 13/08/2018 07:31

My friend tickled me the other day, so as a laugh to get him back, I knee capped him 👍🏻

ScreamingValenta · 13/08/2018 07:39

The whole thing sounds very childish.

ItWentInMyEye · 13/08/2018 08:30

@Bostin Definitely not!! Just your phrasing rather tickled me. Grin Perhaps like a nugget of dry sheep shit would, rolling down the back of my collar when I'm 3 bites into my ham salad.

Shockers · 13/08/2018 08:35

You tipped a pot of dry sheep poo over him while he was eating? In front of other friends who were also eating?

That is beyond weird- sorry.

Makehimtick · 13/08/2018 08:54

Dear All, He wasn't eating, he was lying back in the sun, eyes and mouth closed. Others were all fiddling with their lunch boxes and he was below, obscured by rocks. No one saw, or at least no one commented. When I spoke to people after lunch, it was clear they hadn't seen.
I do know decent behaviour. I just obviously get a bit carried away. But this guy threatened recently to sit on my face and 'let one go'. (I only remembered that in bed last night) How was I to know he wouldn't see the funny side of dry, sun bleached sheep shit?

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread