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Original poster

How to repair a friendship

204 replies

Makehimtick · 12/08/2018 22:51

Hi. I've had this good friend for 11 months. We've been gradually getting to know each other and just having fun. I did something that really upset him yesterday and he just won't communicate. Here's what it was. A few weeks ago were on a group walk, relaxing in the sun, and he splashed water over me. It was a laugh. I said' 'I'll get you back for that' and it was all fun. Yesterday was the next group walk. I brought with me a pot of dry sheep muck and poured it over his face. I said it was payback. I really thought he would laugh. He didn't. Gave me the silent treatment all the way back. I told him I was desperately sorry, hadn't meant to hurt/upset him, was meant in fun and wished I could undo it cos I deeply regretted it. Told him he meant a lot to me and was gutted I had done this. He seemed to thaw a bit and said 'OK I hear you but just don't say any more' and we had some general chat before we went our separate ways. He lives at a distance, doesn't like phone, so I emailed him when I got home and said again how sorry I was and also said a few general things, to show I was listening and trying to draw a line under it. I've heard nothing since and am so worried he is going to just end the friendship. What can I say that is brief but on target and will help save the friendship? Sad

OP posts:
SandAndSea · 13/08/2018 09:03

OP, if someone sat on my face and let one go, I definitely wouldn't see the funny side. I'm starting to glimpse a little bit more where you're coming from. Context is everything with these things. Still, he didn't actually sit on your face, he just talked about it. There is a significant difference.

m0therofdragons · 13/08/2018 09:05

With water, it was there and he had a laugh with it. Your plan was premeditated rather than a spur of the moment thing. That's what I'd struggle with most. Your judgement is so off it's unreal.

Nikephorus · 13/08/2018 09:07

Just your phrasing rather tickled me. Grin Perhaps like a nugget of dry sheep shit would, rolling down the back of my collar when I'm 3 bites into my ham salad.
Fabulous! Snorted so much I started coughing Grin

Chartreuseveil · 13/08/2018 09:07

Mad sense of humour = utterly annoying

IncrediblySturdyPyjamas · 13/08/2018 09:16

Oh how we laughed. Ha. Ha. Ha.

At your mad sense of humour.

Is your name Linda, do you like shellsuits and is his name Tom?

musicalxo · 13/08/2018 09:18

Yeah I wouldn't be friends with anyone who poured shit on me..even if it was dry. Still disgusting.

PatheticNurse · 13/08/2018 09:32

It doesn't stick. I don't really understand why you all think it's so bad

That's your problem OP - you have no understanding of how other's feel or boundries on what is normal behaviour.

PatheticNurse · 13/08/2018 09:34

I always find that people who describe themselves has having a "mad sense of humour" tend to be very fake and try to hard to be "wacky"

IncrediblySturdyPyjamas · 13/08/2018 09:37

I always find that people who describe themselves has having a "mad sense of humour" tend to be very fake and try to hard to be "wacky"

Indeed. And nobody else thinks they are wacky in any way.

PatheticNurse · 13/08/2018 09:40

IncrediblySturdyPyjamas - no, just annoying twats who need to be avoided.

Original poster
Makehimtick · 13/08/2018 09:41

I can't respond to all replies individually, but have to say it's not that I have no understanding etc etc or know what's normal. None of you know me or the guy or anything about my life. I just got it badly wrong this one time with this one particular guy who I thought from our contact over 11 months - and I haven't told you any details of that - that he was as way out as me.

I'm grateful to know that some think he might come round in time and some even think people are being a little hard on me.

After the water throwing, I said to him 'Oh, I am going to get you back for that. I'll think of something. You are so in for it' and stuff like that, so he knew I would be planning something.

OK he didn't sit on my face and 'crack one open' - yet - but that sort of a threat sows seeds of 'Ah, so that's the sort of rough play he likes!'

OP posts:
SirHubzALot · 13/08/2018 09:42

This thread has given me a laugh this morning. What other completely inappropriate practical jokes have you pulled on people, OP?

RedNed · 13/08/2018 09:46

Do you think it would be ok OP if he did sit on you and fart Confused

This thread has shown me that immaturity isn't apparently an age thing, is a 'sense of humour' thing Hmm

Fatbelliedgirl · 13/08/2018 09:58

Just realised it's the school holidays and someone is home alone and a little bored, so thought they would write a story about the time they threw sheep shit at their friend.

Pebblesandfriends · 13/08/2018 10:05

I would just leave it for now. The friendship may reignite in a different form when he has time away from you. If you had any hope of anything more from the friendship I would draw a line under that though

Maverick66 · 13/08/2018 10:05

I find this all too stupid to believe.

mistermagpie · 13/08/2018 10:06

You're say you're both in your fifties?!!!!! And you think it's funny to throw animal excrement and make jokes about farting on each other? This has got to be a wind up.

Original poster
Makehimtick · 13/08/2018 10:13

I don't think I've done any other inappropriate ones except setting off a stink bomb at school when I was 14.

Well if he had sat on me and farted there would be two bit. Being sat on, yes, would have loved that. Being farted on? Disgusting and I would have let him know but it wouldn't make me fall out with him. Dried up sheep shit smells of nothing, by the way, so not such a big offence as farting on someone.

This isn't a wind up. I wish it was, but it isn't.

OP posts:
BrazzleDazzleDay · 13/08/2018 10:19

op you would be good chums with my fil, he thinks hes such a fun guy, hes really not, hes an immature twat

TokyoSushi · 13/08/2018 10:19

You went out and collected shit, and then took it on a walk with the aim of throwing it in somebody's face? Weird OP, very weird.

Sweetsongbird1 · 13/08/2018 10:22

I kind of understand where your coming from. My friend has a really low idea of other peoples boundaries and in the past has gone way over board when delivering ‘payback’.

For example friend A asked friend B to taste some vanilla cream she had whipped up but in reality it was garlic mayo. Friend B got a gob full of garlic mayo Sad

So to get her back friend B (months later at a BBQ after a few drinks) asked friend A to see what colour her her fillings were ( she had started a convo on purpose about bad dentistry) when friend A opened her mouth friend B chucked a hand full of castors in her face! Shock she has taken them out of her husbands fishing tackle fridge Shock

Friend A left immediately, in tears. Friend B just couldn’t understand why every fucker was agog. It took A long time to sort that out.

** castors, if any one doesn’t know, are the chrysalis stage of maggots that fishermen use for bait 😭😭😭😭

Hopefully he will come round Flowers

IrenetheQuaint · 13/08/2018 10:26

Um, so you'd like him to sit on your face? Sounds like there is a lot of sexual tension involved on the situation, is that right?

AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 13/08/2018 10:29

Brazzle I'm an immature twat, and this is totally unfunny.

Ok- OP, it's done now. There's no taking it back, and bombarding him with messages isn't going to undo it (not saying you are), it'll just piss him off more. He will have felt humiliated- you've literally shat on him in front of everyone- and now needs some space. The next time you're due to meet up as a group, maybe a tentative text a few dsys before to say "I hope what happened between us won't cause an atmosphere on xxxday" and apologize again. He may have calmed down by then. But it may never be the same.

Fwiw, I don't think you're a witch. Inconsiderate, and unthinking regarding the consequences, yes- but a truly horrible person wouldn't have written this post l, because they wouldn't actually give a blue fuck whether someone was upset or not.

Aprilshowersinaugust · 13/08/2018 10:32

Anyone agree the op is baa - my?

YeTalkShiteHen · 13/08/2018 10:37

OK he didn't sit on my face and 'crack one open' - yet - but that sort of a threat sows seeds of 'Ah, so that's the sort of rough play he likes!'

No, it really doesn’t. You seem to be entirely missing the point that you dropped shit all over your friend and aren’t even that bothered by how he’s feeling. You want him to come round and be fine about it to make you feel better, not because you’re sorry you threw faeces over him.

Take this conversation in any other context:

“But I thought he’d want to, I knew he wouldn’t mind, it was just a laugh”

But what’s his side?