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You know you're Scottish when........................................

308 replies

weepootleflump · 18/01/2007 13:16

1.you kin properly pronounce - McConnochie, Ecclefechan Milngavie, Sauchiehall St, Enoch, Menzies, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake.

  1. .Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.
  2. ...Ye get four seasons in wan day.
4... Ye canny pass a chip/kebab shop withoot slaverin when yer blootert.
  1. ..Ye kin fall about p_shed withoot spilling yer drink.
  2. ..Ye see people wear shell suits with burberry accessories - pure class!
  3. .....Ye measure distance in minutes.
  4. ..Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him - in yer ain family.
  5. ...Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.
10. ..Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds. 11. .Ye know whit haggis is made fae and stull like eating it. 12. .Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date. 13.. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel. 14. ..Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips,irn-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop. 15... Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it. 16.... A big flash car has a ned at the wheel. 17. ..Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure. 18. ..Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums. 19. ...Ye actually understand this. 20. Finally, you are 100% Scottish if you have ever said/heard these words...

a) how's it hingin
b) yourgonnaegetyerfikinheidkiktin
c) clatty
d) boggin
e) cludgie
f) p!shed
g) get it up ye
h) wee beasties
i) ar$e bandit
j) amurny
k) away an bile yer heid
l) peely-wally
m) humphey backit
n) numpty-heid
o) baw bag
p) dubble nugget
1.you kin properly pronounce - McConnochie, Ecclefechan Milngavie, Sauchiehall St, Enoch, Menzies, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake.

  1. .Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.
  1. ...Ye get four seasons in wan day.

4... Ye canny pass a chip/kebab shop withoot slaverin when yer blootert.

  1. ..Ye kin fall about p_shed withoot spilling yer drink.
  1. ..Ye see people wear shell suits with burberry accessories - pure
class!
  1. .....Ye measure distance in minutes.
  1. ..Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him -
in yer ain family.
  1. ...Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.
  1. ..Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.

  2. .Ye know whit haggis is made fae and stull like eating it.

  3. .Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date.

13.. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel.

  1. ..Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips,irn-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.

15... Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.

16.... A big flash car has a ned at the wheel.

  1. ..Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.

  2. ..Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.

  3. ...Ye actually understand this.

  4. Finally, you are 100% Scottish if you have ever said/heard these words...

a) how's it hingin
b) yourgonnaegetyerfikinheidkiktin
c) clatty
d) boggin
e) cludgie
f) p!shed
g) get it up ye
h) wee beasties
i) ar$e bandit
j) amurny
k) away an bile yer heid
l) peely-wally
m) humphey backit
n) numpty-heid
o) baw bag
p) dubble nugget

OP posts:
MrsSpoon · 21/01/2007 20:37

Can't believe I have a week off MN and miss a Scottish thread!

I've had PMT this week and got upset that we don't call the hallway a lobby like I always did at my parents' house. Although I have reinstated the big light and DS1 now says 'dug' for dog.

Don't suppose anyone knows the full words to this piece of poetry? :-

Yer deid, yer deid,
I'll jump on yer heid,
Nae mare will you tell me ah dance like a herd o Ayrshire kai,

???

DS1 was talking about it today and we couldn't remember it between us but it made him laugh.

sonsieface · 21/01/2007 21:05

mrsspoon

reminds me of an ad in the paper

"reid deid peterhead

volvo for sale"

(because you are allowed so many words in the ad)

MrsSpoon · 21/01/2007 21:23

LOL!

BBWBabeLisa · 22/01/2007 00:54

Every year at primary school some of us were picked on to compete in the inter-schools Burns competition. Which involved having to stand in front of a panel of judges and recite the chosen poem for that year with the correct amount of feeling/emphasis at the appropriate points. Always hated it, always won something in it.

Remember giggling with my friend every time we got to the line "We twa hae paidl'd in the burn" in Auld Lang Syne. Rather than paddled, our tiny brains could only think of it as "piddled in the burn".

hotandbothered · 22/01/2007 10:01

We had an English teacher who made up his own versions of Burns poems. Twa Bugs instead of Twa Dugs etc. Very funny!

suzycreamcheese · 22/01/2007 10:02

h&b..but was your english teacher scottish??

we had inter-burns too but only the sooks were picked...
john andersssson my jo john...
much prefer his poetry..

suzycreamcheese · 22/01/2007 10:08

my burns book is from 1904!
its cover is falling off

does anyone know of nice modern small copy of his works?

Macdog · 22/01/2007 10:14

Mrs Spoon, The poem in question is 'Miss Maverick'
I've been trying to remember more of it, but just odd lines pop in and out of my mind

sonsieface · 22/01/2007 10:30

oh i really like john anderson, think it would be good being done as a song by a burlesque singer seducing someone

Macdog · 22/01/2007 10:31

Get over here for a wallow in nostalgia !!!!!!!

BBWBabeLisa · 22/01/2007 11:02

U callin me a sook Suzy?!?

saltireneepsandtatties · 22/01/2007 11:11

I asked the DSes if they were doing a poem for Burns and they said no.
I have changed my name slightl in homour of the occasion

ItsMeMellowma · 22/01/2007 11:12

I ajm having real difficulty getting into the swing of the LochNess one Must go over it again tonight.

MrsSpoon · 22/01/2007 13:12

Thanks Macdog, can't seem to find it on-line anywhere.

My claim to fame was winning a poetry competition at School reciting John Anderson my Joe John.

MrsSpoon · 22/01/2007 13:12

Think the other lady was Miss Nicholson?

Fimbo · 22/01/2007 13:15

I had to recite The Sair Finger at a Burns Festival once.

Macdog · 22/01/2007 13:16

Who remembers this poem?
Or am I getting old????

Macdog · 22/01/2007 13:16

You got in there just before me Fimbo

Fimbo · 22/01/2007 13:17

The Sair Finger
by Walter Wingate

You've hurt your finger? Puir wee man!
Your pinkie? Deary me!
Noo, juist you haud it that wey till
I get my specs and see!

My, so it is - and there's the skelf!
Noo, dinna greet nae mair.
See there - my needle's gotten't out!
I'm sure that wasna sair?

And noo, to make it hale the morn,
Put on a wee bit saw,
And tie a Bonnie hankie roun't
Noo, there na - rin awa'!

Your finger sair ana'? Ye rogue,
You're only lettin' on.
Weel, weel, then - see noo, there ye are,
Row'd up the same as John!

Fimbo · 22/01/2007 13:18

Oops

Fimbo · 22/01/2007 13:20

I had to learn this too.

Macdog · 22/01/2007 13:22

I loved that phrase 'Whit wey?'
Think it was used a lot on the Wee McGreegor stories

MrsSpoon · 22/01/2007 15:49

Macdog, one of the sites linked to on this thread very kindly sent me the lyrics to Voodoo for Miss Maverick:-

I dinna like Miss Maverick ?
This cushion?s for her heid.
I?m jumpin aa my wecht on?t,
An noo Miss Maverick?s deid!

Ye?re deid, ye?re deid, Miss Maverick,
An never mair ye?ll say
I dance like a hird o? Ayrshire
Ky on a mercat day!

I?ll pit ye ablaw the sofa ?
Ye?re deid an yirdit baith,
An never mair ye?ll miscaa me ?
Ye?ve drawn yer hinmaist braith!

Sandy Thomas Ross

Don't know where I got Miss Nicholson from.

hotandbothered · 22/01/2007 15:53

It's just like being back at school

Macdog · 22/01/2007 16:55

'Voodoo for Miss Maverick', how could I forget!! Thank you so very much, Mrs Spoon !!!

My primary 7 teacher would gie me a hidin' and a thick ear