The Locksley-Oakenshield Academy of Hairdressing and Beauty Therapy

[ComeIntoTheSinisterGardenMaud]

All specialisms catered for. We offer courses in

Hairdressing, whether for long hair or a more conventional short back and sides

Manicures

Skincare: facepacks and other beauty treatments

Body art

Advice on styling and personal grooming, ranging from
formal evening attire to casual wear, with specialist sessions on military uniform.

Right is says it on Wikipedia therefore it has to be true!!!

But while researching, I found this article. Look at the bottom paragraph - those tattoos had an ulterior motive, which was not one of which we would have approved!!

gratuitous torso shots Surely they are all completely necessary to the forward movement of the plot!

Right - really must go and file my nails now!!

Crossed with you Small!! I'd love a job!! Can I work 10-2pm with a 2 hour lunch break for MNetting from home, term time only?! That would be great!

Sounds like you need some fancy foot tickling to destress you!!

Can you draw?

Fancy foor rubbing would go down a treat right now

Can I draw?! Mmmm a question, you should pose to my old art teacher who when I was 7 told me I was the most rubbish drawer he'd ever come across!! Personally I think I'm ace - my children can recognise my planes, tractors etc, but my piece de resistance are stickmen!!

I make a jolly good cup of coffee though!

Perhaps we should try some hand tickling when we meet!

Can you draw on a computer? That would be more useful?

Actually, I have rather lovely feet even if I do say so myself, they are about the only part of me that I don't crticise.

I'm a whizz at CBeebies Mr Maker Art games - the ones where you can throw pasta and baked beans around etc! And Power point presentation graphics!!

Although I've never met you, for some reason I feel you would have rather lovely feet!! But I suppose I don't really think of them as feet, or else I couldn't do my job!! They are windows into your soul!!! He-he - do you think I'm really taking this as seriously as I should!! I'm still such a sceptical scientist, but the results speak for themselves I suppose!!

I'll happily give them a go if the other diners don't mind your feet on the table while they are eating!! Hands might be better though!

Right - really really must dash!! BBL!

You've got the job - when can you start?!

From Vampy's article:

The tattoos also help me avoid the "gratuitous torso shot" as they take about two hours to put on, so "getting my kit off" has to be carefully planned!!!

See, I'd be great at that job - I already spend a large amount of time carefully planning how I'd get his kit off.

Can't wait Smallio!! What's the wages like? Can I be paid in PSM currency??

Off to snuggle on the sofa under a blanket watching Downton Abbey and pretending doing some work/research!

Can you imagine actually told that was on your job description?

Can only begin to imagine how the Friday night down the pub conversation would go...!

I wouldn't be downthe pub on a Friday night with that job, Spiro - I'd be putting in some overtime at work :)

@ Twigs and her ideal job.

Just a flying visit, in the middle of something that is apparently known as RL? Not sure it's that great, tbh.

I'd be putting in some overtime at work

Yup, because the tattoos would have to be removed after filming as well with lashing and lashings of baby oil

here's a thought. Assuming his body art was not self-applied do you think it really took 2 hours to apply or do you feel the obviously female makeup artist was perhaps taking her time a bit too carefully?!

Twigs - go on apply. I'd write you a reference!!

Midway through Marie Lloyd. I do love the way Perce raises his eye-brows. Not sure I think much of his domineering temper - just has the neck holding scene. actually who am I kidding!!. All feminist ideals are severely lacking in this academy afterall!!

That is so very true Spiro

Dammit, now Gizzy and I will be trapped here for ages....

Heeeeellllpppp!

And not in a good way. Have just been to dentist who has discovered a patch of decay between existing filling and nerve. Needs to be drilled out but have to have a temporary filling to test the effect of the nerve then go back again for proper filling, and if that doesn't work root canal.

suppose you won't be able to do this then for a while Spiro!!

Sorry couldn't resist!! Sounds horrid. Hopefully the filling will work. Decayed teeth is something that not even fancy foot rubbing can help with apart from the associated stress and pain. You'll have to bring Big brave JP to hold your hand!

Here Massive you'll be needing this to rescue Gizzy by the sounds of it!!

Just reread my post and it sounded most unsympathetic Spiro!. Sorry. Have some sugar free and steer clear of the s. maybe copious amounts of polish cordial maybe a necessity to calm your nerves and if you need comfort give this a snuggle if JP is unavailable

Hope it is sorted as quickly and painlessly as at all possible!!

It's not giving me any problems at all so I was in a bit of a panic due to shock I think - have calmed down a bit now .

The temporary filling shenanigans is precautionary and as I haven't have any trouble with it the dentist thinks RC is unlikely unless the drilling out & initial filling makes something flare up.

I had no problem with dentists at all until I went for a minor filling a few years ago and the dentist gave me the option of not having an anaesthetic. As I hate needles in my gums I decided to have a punt - it was not pleasant, and I have been a bit wobbly ever since.

Obviously I will get them to pump me full of whatever is on offer this time and am sure it'll all be fine.

SIREN BLARING!!

Maud close your eyes!!

Spiro - i will get them to pump me full of whatever they have on offer

bet you hope there's a ceRtAin man available!

Sorry not sure what came over me but couldn't resist
So not like me!! [the sweet innocent one!]

Good Lord - you are in serious trouble now Vampy!

I know!!. But I couldn't stoop my thumbs !! They did it all by themselves I promise!!!

Spiro, not that this will make you feel any better but my mum is the WORST for dentists. She is absolutely petrified to the point of having to take tranquilsers just to get there. She had root canal a few years ago and was having panic attacks (literally) about going but she said it was fine and was no different to having a filling, just took longer. She said she wouldn't worry about it in future.

VAMPY!!! And I thought you were a sweet, innocent young thing :o